I have a 91year old mother with vascular dementia and heart failure , she angers me , exasperates me , makes me sad too as she is not the mother I knew , she does nothing for herself any more , I got to the point where I suffered from severe stress and exhaustion which has got a couple of family members to go in to her occasionally to give me a break . I got carers in at teatime to ease the stress and give me a bit of time to myself but they were useless , had a nightmare with them so cancelled them altogether . I am 67 and have medical issues of my own so totally understand what an 82 year old is feeling when trying to look after her husband , family who don’t do the caring day to day don’t understand the pressure and what it takes out if you - be a bit more understanding please.