Struggling Now

[Jinx]

Es just catching up, so sorry you're in this situation and things are deteriorating so quickly. I hope you can get help very quickly. Thinking about you. xxx


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[truth24]

Dear Es. Have just caught up and am so sorry that Nick has deteriorated so much recently. Well remember those times although at least Fred was mobile. Agree with other posters' suggestions. We had good advice from our Continence Service and they did provide pull ups FOC. I found the following company excellent for products you might find useful. Complete Care Shop, completecareshop.com. Got a lot of waterproof beddIng and other bits and pieces from them. Thinking of you both, my dear. Love. Verityxx

 

[bemused1]

Thinking of you Es. We started the morning with a deluge of unmentionables. Fortunately we had one of our good carers. Just fingers crossed he isn't coming down with this dreadful flu. This is when the hoist and sheets come into their own

 

[sleepless]

Esmeralda, hope all is well with Nick and yourself?
Thinking of you.

 

[Casbow]

Esmeralda

Well, just had the usual major pre bed clean up.
The problem is, my OH's mobility is now so poor and he has so little control that by the time he gets up to transfer from chair to commode it's too late. We have a 'Turner' and he can pull himself upright pretty well but to go from upright to sitting is a major difficulty, he just hasn't got the confidence to lower himself down. The whole process can take 10 to 15 minutes with him nearly getting there and then pulling himself up again and having to start over. Then often he's awake at 0600 obsessively using his bottle, and trying to get out of bed although he has almost no control over unrinating and doesn't know why he's trying to get up.
I'm getting exhausted and would welcome any suggestions. Don't see how having carers in would help as they wouldn't be here this time of night. He sleeps a lot during the day and only seems to wake up towards evening so we tend to be quite late to bed then the clean up and actually getting him into bed takes a minimum of an hour, tonight at least an hour and a half.

I don't know what to say to you except I send you my love and my understanding only because I have worked in a care home and understand the difficulty of dealing with incontinence. My husband is incontinent sometimes and that is bad enough. My iove to you.xxxxx

 

[bemused1]

Hoping the first day went OK. I remember the problem of only one toilet when our wetroom was done and hubs was only urine incontinent then. Fingers crossed

 

[thebes]

Just caught up, and sending lots of sympathetic thoughts. I agree with lots that has been said, we have been dealing with the incontinence and decreasing mobility for months now, though my OH is more able to move still than yours by the sound of it. From experience I would add I didn't find pull ups so helpful, got in an even worse mess when soiled as I found them hard to remove with contents. I get on better with the ' netty knickers ', as can whip the pad out quicker, not negotiating the wobbly legs and panic about falling. I increase the absorbency by using a booster pad inside the ordinary one at night, which often saves me a change of PJs and bedding. I found our continence clinic OK though I had to be very persistent to get the original appt.
One unexpected consequence of my OH going onto a puréed diet 4 months ago, has been that his long battle with incontinece caused by constipation has resolved. His current mild daily laxative and that change Of diet has been enough to restore a regular habit, with some persistence encouragement from me, and he is more able torecognise when he needs to go. I now wonder if his increasiNg reluctance to eat or drink earlier in the Spring was an indicator That he could no longer physically process ordinary food.
I hope you see your OT very soon and get real practical help with handling to save the
wear and tear on you. As I said the other day in my own post, the rate of change is so hard to take, let alone t being able to react to the implications and marshal the next set of resources needed. Good luck with that, and look after yourself.

 

[sleepless]

Thebes, some very interesting info in your post, which I hope can help Esmeralda, and others.
Can I just check something with you? Did you know that the pull-ups are perforated down the sides to enable easy removal?
I must admit I don't use them often for my husband, but tearing them is a quick way to remove them, though nothing is easy with bowel incontinence I must admit. It's infrequent here just yet, but I do sympathise with everyone who deals with it on a daily basis.

 

[bemused1]

Just one thing I found on the subject of incontinence. As hubs became truly immobile I found all in ones easier to use than pull ups. But these I have to buy. Pads became completely useless and pull ups just got tangled.

 

[Cat27]

Hope you're ok Es?

 

[Izzy]

Just one thing I found on the subject of incontinence. As hubs became truly immobile I found all in ones easier to use than pull ups. But these I have to buy. Pads became completely useless and pull ups just got tangled.

I found the same with pull ups. They do rip off at the sides but that just caused an added problem. When I took them off my husband I then had to get trousers and shoes off him to put another pair on. Luckily our continence service supply the Tena flex all in ones. My argument with them is the absorbency they will provide. As they supply a basic number I buy the extra as what they supply does not see him through the night.

 

[sleepless]

I found the same with pull ups. They do rip off at the sides but that just caused an added problem. When I took them off my husband I then had to get trousers and shoes off him to put another pair on. Luckily our continence service supply the Tena flex all in ones. My argument with them is the absorbency they will provide. As they supply a basic number I buy the extra as what they supply does not see him through the night.

Yes, I find putting the pull-ups on when hubby is dressed can be a pain, especially when out and about. Taking shoes and trousers off in disabled toilets -- there is room to move about, but often nowhere clean to put things, and the floors can be wet.......He usually wears pads and the stretchy pants supplied by the Continence Service (not the net ones)

 

[sleepless]

Esmeralda, hope you and Nick are alright?

 

[chick1962]

Hiya Es popping in to send hugs and love to you both xxxxx


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[bemused1]

Hope the wet rooms going well, no major clean ups required. My fingers are crossed, remember the fear well

 

[esmeralda]

Hi everyone, goodness I have so much good information here. Thanks so much.
Sorry I haven't posted before now. Sleepless advised on how disruptive the building process is, and she was quite right. So very busy yesterday and today. Builders are very nice though and I have had a better day with Nick today. No difficult clean ups as yet and they are keeping the toilet available so I can empty the commode. 2 days down and eight to go! Fortunately there is a sink in the cellar which I can use for rising through clothes - not ideal but at least an alternative to the kitchen sink
I was able to talk to the OT on the phone today and she is visiting tomorrow.
So grateful to you all for your kindness, advice and concern.
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[chick1962]

Hi everyone, goodness I have so much good information here. Thanks so much.
Sorry I haven't posted before now. Sleepless advised on how disruptive the building process is, and she was quite right. So very busy yesterday and today. Builders are very nice though and I have had a better day with Nick today. No difficult clean ups as yet and they are keeping the toilet available so I can empty the commode. 2 days down and eight to go! Fortunately there is a sink in the cellar which I can use for rising through clothes - not ideal but at least an alternative to the kitchen sink
I was able to talk to the OT on the phone today and she is visiting tomorrow.
So grateful to you all for your kindness, advice and concern.
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Hello Es, so glad to hear you had a better day with Nick, despite all the upheaval of builders thinking of you both xxxxxx


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[Izzy]

Goodness still 8 days to go!

I hope the OT visit goes well and you have another good day with Nick. x

 

[truth24]

Glad you had s better day, Es. Hope today is the same. Xxx

 

[bemused1]

Sympathies for the building work Es. I found that builders have always been helpful and considerate once they know the situation. Glad Nick was better.
Good luck with the ot. Word of advice, think how difficult things are when at their worst and tell it like it is. I know neither of you want this, but think if I have this at hand it will be there when I need it, but I don't have to on a good day.
I don't know how good your ot is, but I find you need to tell them what you want. If you say what do you think I need they aren't so helpful.
So, things to discuss and get an opinion on. Hospital bed, could help Nick get up and down because height adjustable.
Hoist for days when you really struggle.
Slide sheets (eg biotechsis) to help him move in bed.
Commode/shower chair, if possible one that will go over the toilet. Useful if you can bowel train saves a huge amount of work.
Don't be daunted by the list, but try to discuss ins and outs.Even if you don't need them atm its useful to get the ball rolling. The other big advantage is you can delay the invasion of carers .
Hope that helps Es, be kind to yourself as well as Nick. I hope you get the help you need