1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. toura

    toura Registered User

    Feb 5, 2008
    42
    hertfordshire
    hi mum has alz she 76 had it for seven years which iv been taking care of she lives with me and i think she in last stages i not sure how do u know she cant talk its all ddddd which 24 7 its a bit much i do wat i can for her but it seemes never enoughti would like any help please
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hello toura

    as your first message is one that is directly related to dementia care I have moved it from Tea Room to here in the support area.

    Your situation is a common one for families caring for someone who has dementia - language and speech often become a problem.

    I have found that taking the noises in combination with the tone, and facial expressions to be useful in interpreting what my Jan is desperately trying to say.

    This won't work for everyone, but I am sure others will post here with their thoughts on this difficult area.

    best wishes
     
  3. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello Toura and welcome to TP.
    I cannot help you directly regarding the speech as so far I have not had to deal with it. Brucie has commented and I am sure others will too.

    However, I do feel that if you are caring 24/7 then you are doing more than enough. Have you any help and support from anyone at all including a CPN in the Mental Health Team?

    Best wishes Jan
     
  4. toura

    toura Registered User

    Feb 5, 2008
    42
    hertfordshire
    no help

    the cpn say there no more they can do all they say its about time she went in to a home which i dont want just want to wash there hands how would they fell if it was one of thers just put in home and leave to root
     
  5. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Toura,

    You've been looking after your mum for 7 years..that in itself deserves a medal..

    Does your mum have a consultant? Is she seen regularly by him/her? Is your GP involved in her care?

    Sorry about the questions..but if your mum is coming to end stage,and you want to keep her at home then the "professionals" who are responsible for her care will have to be involved..for your sake as well as your mum's..
    You don't tell us about you and how you are coping with this..have you any support from family?

    We're all here to help if we can..keep in touch..

    love Gigi x
     
  6. toura

    toura Registered User

    Feb 5, 2008
    42
    hertfordshire
    i have two sisters a brother my brother gives me help not with mum but if anythink gose wrong in home he will fix it no his name is terry not bob anyway the sisters cant cope with it so dont see them much mum gp is very good she has tried to get a cpn round for me i dont get any help i do everythink for mum but its the dddddd all day long that drives me made i justcount to 20 then come back to her
     
  7. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london


    That is good of you , but it not mentality health y for you your stress level must be so high , Can't understand why your doctor has not pick up on it .

    I thought it was a
    national think that doctor had in they practice , as Poster that says if your a carer tell the doctor, as they can tell you all the services that are available from Social services to give you support in your caring role .

    So your saying you have no support net work at all from your local authority ?

    What about CPN did they never offer you respite , day center ?
     
  8. toura

    toura Registered User

    Feb 5, 2008
    42
    hertfordshire
    oh they offer me and i accept but they didnt look after her left her in mess put on other people cloths that was to small for her i went there every day to bath her it wasnt much of a break but oh yer and gave her some ones eles med sorry i dont trust then places left her in a chair all day she had feet like elephants never again
     
  9. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello again Toura,

    For your sake..and your mum's sake..I think it's important that you have a "re-assessment"

    Would your mum's GP come out to see you.. and you can discuss the problems and worries you have..

    Dementia is so unpredictable..and it does sound as though you need some support..why don't you phone the GP tomorrow and ask for a visit..

    You are doing a wonderful job for your mum..your mum may need some extra help that even the best of carer's cannot do alone..

    Please try..They may be able to suggest or put in place more home support for you.

    Love Gigi xx
     
  10. toura

    toura Registered User

    Feb 5, 2008
    42
    hertfordshire
    hi i did have cares come in to wash mum a few years ago and get her ready for bed but then she lashed out and they said they cant carry on for there own safty so it was stopped ever since iv done it im ok she well fed and clean the only prob i have is dont understand when i give her a drink she just tips it on the floor and then start to drink out of a empty cup and she always want food five mins after she had her dinner she happy when she eating but i cant keep feeding her have talk to doctor but she seems to think its for attention
     
  11. zonkjonk

    zonkjonk Registered User

    the help from carers was rejected a few years ago but maybe, now as your mum has worsened, she may accept some help.
    It is worth a try.

    "have talk to doctor but she seems to think its for attention"

    I`m sorry, but I dont understand what you mean by this?
     
  12. zonkjonk

    zonkjonk Registered User

  13. 117katie

    117katie Guest

    #13 117katie, Feb 7, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2008
    Zonkjonk

    All I can say, is that - having read each and every word contained in the link you provided - for which I personally would like to thank you - I now understand why so many people leave the UK, 'heading for the light' in and of Australia!

    Absolutely superb information contained in that booklet. I can think of about 20 so-called 'professionals' who have come our way over the last 2 years who could only benefit from reading it, cover to cover, as I have just done.

    I have never come across such sensibly presented information, simply and easily readable, from start to finish. Our own individual experience of dementia takes us all on a course from 'start' to 'finish'. And that booklet did likewise, calmly and comfortingly.

    Thank you so much.

    Katie
     
  14. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Jo, thanks for that link. It's an excellent booklet, though not an easy read for someone like me, caring for a loved one in end-stage.

    It might be an idea to post your link again in the Resource forum.

    Love,
     
  15. jimsandy

    jimsandy Registered User

    Jan 31, 2008
    16
    Soldiers Grove
    understand

    We have a mother who has alzheimers/dementia and have had to have courts put her in a nursing home. But even then it is tough and stressful, when we have to see her in a place other than her home. But rememeber you need to take time for yourself, either see if a friend/another family member would come stay with her so you could do some things you like to do. I can not imagine yet being in the final stages of this disease, but know that it will come my way soon enough. If you need to chat remember you can always chat with someone at this site. Sandy
     
  16. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #16 Margarita, Feb 7, 2008
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2008



    Sorry to read about your mother bad experience in care home , I must say that not all respite care home are not the same . So from my own experience from respite care homes , you can not judge all respite care home the same . as they is good one out they.

    I have seen them , and seen a bad one, that I would never send my mother again to that one .

    It about communicating your concerns afterward to SW , so they send her to one that is Good , mind you saying that may be its that I had a good SW who would listen to me .
     

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