stress

toura

Registered User
Feb 5, 2008
42
hertfordshire
hi mum has alz she 76 had it for seven years which iv been taking care of she lives with me and i think she in last stages i not sure how do u know she cant talk its all ddddd which 24 7 its a bit much i do wat i can for her but it seemes never enoughti would like any help please
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hello toura

as your first message is one that is directly related to dementia care I have moved it from Tea Room to here in the support area.

Your situation is a common one for families caring for someone who has dementia - language and speech often become a problem.

I have found that taking the noises in combination with the tone, and facial expressions to be useful in interpreting what my Jan is desperately trying to say.

This won't work for everyone, but I am sure others will post here with their thoughts on this difficult area.

best wishes
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
but it seemes never enough
Hello Toura and welcome to TP.
I cannot help you directly regarding the speech as so far I have not had to deal with it. Brucie has commented and I am sure others will too.

However, I do feel that if you are caring 24/7 then you are doing more than enough. Have you any help and support from anyone at all including a CPN in the Mental Health Team?

Best wishes Jan
 

toura

Registered User
Feb 5, 2008
42
hertfordshire
no help

the cpn say there no more they can do all they say its about time she went in to a home which i dont want just want to wash there hands how would they fell if it was one of thers just put in home and leave to root
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
no more they can do all they say its about time she went in to a home which i dont want just want to wash there hands how would they fell if it was one of thers just put in home and leave to root
Hello Toura,

You've been looking after your mum for 7 years..that in itself deserves a medal..

Does your mum have a consultant? Is she seen regularly by him/her? Is your GP involved in her care?

Sorry about the questions..but if your mum is coming to end stage,and you want to keep her at home then the "professionals" who are responsible for her care will have to be involved..for your sake as well as your mum's..
You don't tell us about you and how you are coping with this..have you any support from family?

We're all here to help if we can..keep in touch..

love Gigi x
 

toura

Registered User
Feb 5, 2008
42
hertfordshire
i have two sisters a brother my brother gives me help not with mum but if anythink gose wrong in home he will fix it no his name is terry not bob anyway the sisters cant cope with it so dont see them much mum gp is very good she has tried to get a cpn round for me i dont get any help i do everythink for mum but its the dddddd all day long that drives me made i justcount to 20 then come back to her
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
i dont get any help i do everythink for mum


That is good of you , but it not mentality health y for you your stress level must be so high , Can't understand why your doctor has not pick up on it .

I thought it was a
national think that doctor had in they practice , as Poster that says if your a carer tell the doctor, as they can tell you all the services that are available from Social services to give you support in your caring role .

So your saying you have no support net work at all from your local authority ?

What about CPN did they never offer you respite , day center ?
 

toura

Registered User
Feb 5, 2008
42
hertfordshire
That is good of you , but it not mentality health y for you your stress level must be so high , Can't understand why your doctor has not pick up on it .

I thought it was a
national think that doctor had in they practice , as Poster that says if your a carer tell the doctor, as they can tell you all the services that are available from Social services to give you support in your caring role .

So your saying you have no support net work at all from your local authority ?

What about CPN did they never offer you respite , day center ?
oh they offer me and i accept but they didnt look after her left her in mess put on other people cloths that was to small for her i went there every day to bath her it wasnt much of a break but oh yer and gave her some ones eles med sorry i dont trust then places left her in a chair all day she had feet like elephants never again
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Hello again Toura,

For your sake..and your mum's sake..I think it's important that you have a "re-assessment"

Would your mum's GP come out to see you.. and you can discuss the problems and worries you have..

Dementia is so unpredictable..and it does sound as though you need some support..why don't you phone the GP tomorrow and ask for a visit..

You are doing a wonderful job for your mum..your mum may need some extra help that even the best of carer's cannot do alone..

Please try..They may be able to suggest or put in place more home support for you.

Love Gigi xx
 

toura

Registered User
Feb 5, 2008
42
hertfordshire
hi i did have cares come in to wash mum a few years ago and get her ready for bed but then she lashed out and they said they cant carry on for there own safty so it was stopped ever since iv done it im ok she well fed and clean the only prob i have is dont understand when i give her a drink she just tips it on the floor and then start to drink out of a empty cup and she always want food five mins after she had her dinner she happy when she eating but i cant keep feeding her have talk to doctor but she seems to think its for attention
 

zonkjonk

Registered User
Mar 1, 2007
290
Melbourne, Australia
the help from carers was rejected a few years ago but maybe, now as your mum has worsened, she may accept some help.
It is worth a try.

"have talk to doctor but she seems to think its for attention"

I`m sorry, but I dont understand what you mean by this?
 
1

117katie

Guest
Zonkjonk

All I can say, is that - having read each and every word contained in the link you provided - for which I personally would like to thank you - I now understand why so many people leave the UK, 'heading for the light' in and of Australia!

Absolutely superb information contained in that booklet. I can think of about 20 so-called 'professionals' who have come our way over the last 2 years who could only benefit from reading it, cover to cover, as I have just done.

I have never come across such sensibly presented information, simply and easily readable, from start to finish. Our own individual experience of dementia takes us all on a course from 'start' to 'finish'. And that booklet did likewise, calmly and comfortingly.

Thank you so much.

Katie
 
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Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Jo, thanks for that link. It's an excellent booklet, though not an easy read for someone like me, caring for a loved one in end-stage.

It might be an idea to post your link again in the Resource forum.

Love,
 

jimsandy

Registered User
Jan 31, 2008
16
Soldiers Grove
understand

We have a mother who has alzheimers/dementia and have had to have courts put her in a nursing home. But even then it is tough and stressful, when we have to see her in a place other than her home. But rememeber you need to take time for yourself, either see if a friend/another family member would come stay with her so you could do some things you like to do. I can not imagine yet being in the final stages of this disease, but know that it will come my way soon enough. If you need to chat remember you can always chat with someone at this site. Sandy
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
oh they offer me and i accept but they didnt look after her left her in mess put on other people cloths that was to small for her i went there every day to bath her it wasnt much of a break but oh yer and gave her some ones eles med sorry i dont trust then places left her in a chair all day she had feet like elephants never again



Sorry to read about your mother bad experience in care home , I must say that not all respite care home are not the same . So from my own experience from respite care homes , you can not judge all respite care home the same . as they is good one out they.

I have seen them , and seen a bad one, that I would never send my mother again to that one .

It about communicating your concerns afterward to SW , so they send her to one that is Good , mind you saying that may be its that I had a good SW who would listen to me .
 
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