1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Stress or signs of dementia

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Molly Milly, May 22, 2008.

  1. Molly Milly

    Molly Milly Registered User

    May 21, 2008
    2
    My Father is 66 and has dementia

    For the last 20 years I have had a lot of responsibility in my job(s)

    1st job - 20 years
    2nd job - 18 months

    Most days I feel very unproductive and some days I feel like I am regaining control.

    I am very hardworking but lack focus and discipline but then I think I always have.

    My boss tells me I am very good at what I do, but I no longer have the same confidence.

    I have decided I need to change my vocation and work within a sales environment where the focus is on targets and hardwork is rewarded as I think I would be better suited to this type of work.

    However I have just done a mental agility test for a job application and I was awful, I feel like I am loosing my mind I am 40 years of age and I feel as though everything is a struggle. I am a very tired person and have been for at least 20 years, it is a standing joke if I sit down at the end of the day, I usually can't keep my eyes open.

    Keeping the house tidy, cooking, putting the washing away, I never seem to get around to doing my to do list at home. I have a wonderful husband who does the tea most nights and helps about the house. I work full time 9.30 (after dropping my daughter off at school)and usually home between 6 and 6.30 however I have worked later when feeling under pressure. When I come home my main focus is on my daughter and then I don't seem to have much energy left for anything some days like today I feel like my head hurts.

    I am not very good with routine and frequently go to bed after 12, I am up at 6.30 each morning as I have promised myself that I will exercise everday (and have done for the last 5 weeks) I do 20 mins each morning on the elyptical trainer. I am always reading books on positive thinking and how to get organised.

    Am I showing signs of dementia or have I just been fighting the stress for too long ..............

    I am scared to go the doctors because I have applied to emmigrate and I don't want anything on my medical records.

    Any comments will be welcome...............:confused:
     
  2. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Hi Milly Molly, Would suggest if you are worried you need to see your doctor, but at a guess your stressed... my opinion only. Would strongly suggest you need to see a professional. Take care.
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #3 Margarita, May 22, 2008
    Last edited: May 22, 2008
    Snap that is what is happing to me at the moment.

    So did I , I could not believe it when I never past . They tell me I am not strong in what they are looking for , but thank- god when I did pass for another job on the net . I got the interview on the 31 May , other wise I am thinking I have lost my working skills in working life in a Job .

    Don't be to hard on yourself , try another Job . but I know how it can make you feel when you don't pass they tests .

    I think its all down to brain strain not a dementia . I've been caring full time at home with my mother for 3 years as I could not balance working full time caring , but I wish I had stayed working part time, as I am losing lot of skill of balancing thing

    I find I am losing a lot of my skills it does knock the self esteem, confidence

    Could you not work part time , so your taking away some stresses from yourself blanching caring for your father , then caring for your family

    Is your father living alone ? what support network is set up for your father , beside just you caring for him ?
     
  4. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    #4 Lynne, May 22, 2008
    Last edited: May 22, 2008
    Hi Milly Molly

    In my opinion you are reaping the 'reward' of over-stretching yourself in just about every possible way. Of course, I'm not in any way qualified to make any sort of diagnosis based on a brief shapshot of your life and nor is anyone else here.

    I would describe your state of mind (& possibly body too) as burn-out as a result of the pressure you put yourself under & as years rack up one DOES become less able to cope, and your Dad's condition will be putting increasing extra strain on you & your family.

    We'd all like to be SuperWoman all of our lives :)cool:) but most of us are only human. If you want my advice, wind your life down a bit on the things which you have a choice about, to enable you to use your obvious strength of character to continue supporting your loved ones in the areas they need you (and perhaps even start to enjoy relaxing with them for its own sake!).

    Good luck and best wishes.
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Milly Molly

    Lynne's post contains a lot of sense. It sounds to me that you are putting too much pressure on yourself.

    I'd think that the last thing you need at the moment is a high-pressure job where you have to worry about meeting targets. You have so much on your plate already, and may need to cut down on the pressure.

    I do think you should see your GP. It doesn't sound to me like dementia, though I'm no expert. But you may be offered counselling to help you sort out your thinking.

    Please stay in touch, and let us know how you get on.
     
  6. Molly Milly

    Molly Milly Registered User

    May 21, 2008
    2
    Thank you all

    Thank you all for your comments. I think maybe I am being a bit hard on myself but I do think a new job is the answer, if that does not work then I think it is definately a trip to the doctors!! I am going on holiday for a week ............ looking forward to plenty of R&R, especially since yesterday I was dropping my daughter at school and I went the wrong way then later in the day I was parked at traffic lights at a round about and made a conscious decision to come off at the 2nd exit to the shops and within seconds I forgot and drove straight past (not good, it was really good to read your posts when I got home, kind of took the pressure off)I'm new to the talking point but I will be checking in frequently and I will keep you updated.

    Many thanks
    Molly Milly
     
  7. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Take care of yourself and enjoy that holiday!:D 'See' you when you get back.
     
  8. citybythesea

    citybythesea Registered User

    Mar 23, 2008
    632
    coast of texas
    MIllyMolly...

    Lets see somewheres on this desk I have a life. 41 years of it. I have stressed and put the job above myself. Held down a 48 hour management job plus kept my mothers household going plus ran my household (3kids, 1 spouse. 3dogs, 3 cats). Exercised everyday plus went to bed late. From feeling your exhaustion I too can tell you...I have cooked my breakfast and forgot to eat it, have drove off with my purse on the roof of my car, lost my keys, forgot my OWN kids birthdays....and my personal favorite =drove home with the eggs on the roof of my car (someone above was watching because I really and truly do not know how they made it there for 20 miles)

    I think you need to see a dr. before you change jobs (unless of course you hate your job) I can tell you that a career change is also really stressful and may make things worse for you. Even if you choose to do the job change, still go to the dr. and don't wait. He/she may tell you that you just need to find time for youself and a little more sleep....whatever the result you need a looooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggg vacation.

    It's only now (1 year later) that I am finally feeling ressted.
     
  9. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Milly Molly, go see your GP for reassurance. It all sounds to me that you are doing to much and expecting too much of yourself. In fact you sound just like me. I can no longer to the crossword in the paper without looking things up, can't remember the name of the Cutty Sark, and it is all because of stress. It is not likely to be dementia, just stress.

    Your GP probably won't offer a lot,but I really wouldn't start looking for a new job in Sales, cos that sounds even more pressured. Take a break, do something easy for a while, look after yourself.

    Margaret
     

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