1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    793
    Female
    cornwall
    No your not. I wonder how long this can go on with dad for. He was diagnosed in 2016 when he was 83 but I think he has had it since 2013 as a of a few incidents.It is never ending.
    I have supported dad into a home. for 3 weeks respite as I can no longer cope.Even with carers X 4.He now has a pressure area and become in continent overnight. I’m not willing to do anymore
     
  2. millalm

    millalm Registered User

    Oct 9, 2019
    27
    @Smallears There is no 'wrong' way to feel about the situation we are all in. I have the very same thoughts about my Mum. I know she would not want to be 'existing' the way she is, and she would be so angry at me for putting her first before my husband and children, not to mention myself. When the care home decided she was End of Life back in March they took her off all meds, cold turkey. She had been taking galantamine, risperidone, an anti depressant and blood pressure meds. What happened was that she became more lively, more mobile, and more lucid than she had been in the previous 2 years, initiating conversation, recognizing people, trying to get out of bed, and off her wheelchair and asking for assistance. Other than the blood pressure meds they did not reintroduced other meds and we had about 2 months of much improved quality of life. Sadly she is now declining rapidly but those 2 months were a gift, and I am convinced it was the combination of meds, particularly the risperidone that contributed to her initial decline when she went into the care home. Through this entire journey, even when she was at Death's door, the only consistent request was 'I want to go home' so I don't think taking your Mum's meds away will have much affect on her remembering she is not at home. Every dementia resident in Mum's building expresses the same longing, it seems that the desire to 'go home' is driven by instinct and somehow not affected by the dementia. My Mum has been telling me there are people coming to take her away, I have told her that if she wants to go with them I would be happy to have her go. I am hopeful it is my Dad and her family already crossed over and that they will come to take her home soon. How crazy is that? :)
     
  3. Smallears

    Smallears Registered User

    Apr 7, 2016
    5
    That's not crazy at all, I said to my mum the other day if you see a light and you want to go towards it then go as dad and grandma and grandad will be waiting for you. so if you're crazy then so am I
     
  4. Smallears

    Smallears Registered User

    Apr 7, 2016
    5
    I coped better than I thought I would with the incontinence but I can't be there all the time and god knows what I'd walk in to if she was left overnight!! I think you know when the time is right. Everyone on this site is amazing to care for their loved ones the way we do/have.
     

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