Stopped eating, taking small sips

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Lilac Blossom, Nov 3, 2019.

  1. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    532
    Scotland
    Husband has been in bed for over two weeks - now he has stopped eating except one or two spoonfuls of liquid soup, a few tiny sips of water but often he refuses to have anything. His meds have been discontinued.

    At present he is comfortable, not in pain or discomfort, and is well looked after in his care home.

    I have been told that if/when he feels pain or discomfort they will call in Marie Curie nurses to introduce syringe driver.

    The staff are very kind to me but of course I am distressed seeing him like this, and apprehensive, not knowing what to expect, and when.

    Lilac x
     
  2. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    Hi Lilac, this was my mother last week. I found it hard to believe she would ever drink or eat again and was expecting death within the day and certainly the week. On the third day of taking absolutely nothing when she looked close to death she suddenly took lots of juice and a fortified yoghurt and is now looking robust and no longer close to death. I heard exactly this scenario from many others but it still surprised me...so prepare for this because it’s a mixed blessing because you feel it just prolongs the inevitable.

    I had read a lot about what happens when not taking anything. Lots of variations in how long people can last. Nothing to eat or drink is usually 3 days but can be longer. Sips of anything will extend this time period.

    8 weeks without food. Again this is variable.

    Eventually they weaken and the heart muscle will also weaken and their sleepiness extends into the final sleep. Mum did not urinate or open her bowels for several days.

    Sorry to be so blunt but I know I wanted more info and it seems you do
     
  3. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    My mum is still limiting her intake but taking enough to keep going. She’s agitated and unhappy. I find it incredibly hard to see that.
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,334
    Merseyside
    I’m sorry to read your update @Lilac Blossom. It’s so difficult to watch our loved ones fade away. I wish you strength.
     
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,894
    Female
    Dundee
  6. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    532
    Scotland
    Thank you so much for replies Splashing About, Cat27 and Izzy. I appreciate the link Izzy - such a lot of useful info, very helpful

    Today I noticed a marked deterioration - OH looks very poorly, so thin it's heartbreaking to see him like this. He is not in pain so he's not on medication at the moment. No-one can say when the end will come and much as I want to hold on to him, my dear one needs to be released from the troubles of this life.

    Lilac
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,894
    Female
    Dundee
    Heartbreaking for you. Wishing you strength.
     
  8. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,334
    Merseyside
  9. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    532
    Scotland
    Hubby sleeping all the time - I haven't seen him awake for five days.

    Staff say he had half a yogurt, or couple spoonfuls of creamy porridge, tiny sips of juice.

    Watching and waiting on my own is so tiring and stressful.

    Thank you so much for support. x
     
  10. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    So hard for you. It’s agonising to keep vigil
     
  11. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,821
    oh my lovely it’s not an easy time for you. Please take care of yourself
    Xx
     
  12. Channiechanty

    Channiechanty New member

    Nov 9, 2019
    1
    Thinking of you both xx
     
  13. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    445
    Bedford
    Thoughts to you at this hard time
     
  14. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,334
    Merseyside
    welcome to DTP @Channiechanty
     
  15. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    532
    Scotland
    Hubby has started to accept a small amount of liquidised soup and sometimes some custard - occasionally a few sips of juice. He cannot feed himself of course and the effort of being fed small amounts of food exhausts him and he sleeps for hours afterwards.

    I don't think this is an improvement, but maybe a kind of temporary plateau? Part of me feels that I should be pleased to have this time, however long or short, but somehow I am feeling more sad and really tired than I felt three weeks ago. Is it normal to feel this way?

    I really appreciate all the encouraging messages - thank you all. x
     
  16. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,821
    Yes it’s totally normal, it’s as if the inevitability of the situation is just being drawn out- that’s how I feel with Dad. He’s off all meds bar two; comfort care package in place. Sleeps 23 hours out of 24, & yet his skin colour looks better than last week! His weight is still dropping & he is skeletal. It breaks my heart each time I visit.

    sending you (((((((hugs))))))) love & strength for the days a head. xxx
     
  17. Buttercup24

    Buttercup24 Registered User

    Jul 17, 2016
    18
     
  18. Buttercup24

    Buttercup24 Registered User

    Jul 17, 2016
    18
    I can relate to you, my mum is end of life, but is very strong, I see her most days sleeping, small amount of fluids and very little food, so very sad and emotional to watch, thoughts with you.
    Rosalie
     
  19. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    532
    Scotland
    His heart is good - that's what's keeping him going they say. He is sleeping almost all the time - has approx two spoonfuls soup, a few sips of water and that's all for the whole day.

    Thanks for kind responses - I'm sorry to hear how many of us are experiencing such sad times.

    Bless you all - Lilac x
     

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