stopped drinking, morphine driver and radio 4

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by efn, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. efn

    efn Registered User

    Nov 20, 2015
    2
    4 weeks to the day Dad was fine in his care home, he's been there almost a year, he was in the top 10% crew I'd say - he was proud of that and sometimes couldn't understand why he was being subjected to an environment that had such a wide range of people and needs.

    Then he fell early one morning and broke his hip, had an operation the same day under general anaesthetic, developed mild pneumonia, lost his swallow and ability to talk and spent 2.5 weeks in hospital.

    He's now back at the care home, they are doing a great job. However Wednesday afternoon it was time to administer a syringe driver. The usual apparently - morphine, anti-sickness, something to help lessen agitation and a finally something to lessen secretions in the throat to make him more comfortable.

    He's stopped drinking anything since, and not opened his eyes. His smile has gone. He's almost gone.

    I listened to this show on radio 4 last night that I have to share with David Schneider and Kathryn Mannix regarding end-of-life care and the process of dying. It is incredibly moving and reassuring - do please listen to it. I cannot post it here as I've only just registered.

    I woke up early this morning - I'm going to travel down and see him today - it could be the last time - I hope it is the last time. Dementia and Alzheimers has been a long path for us with now a rapid decline - strangely I'm actually quite thankful for that fall. It's been an accelerant. My young children saw him just before the fall - they will remember him in a positive way, "silly Grandad" - it is time you go and see Mum - she's got that list of odd jobs for you in heaven. XX
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,439
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,009
    Yorkshire
    Hello efn
    and welcome to TP
    Thank you for your thoughtful and moving post
    (and to jenniferpa for the link)
    I hope your visit comforts you - I wish peace for your dad and your family.
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    Hello efn
    Thank you so much for your post and for thinking of all of us at your very sad time. I hope that you had a safe journey today and that your Dad has a peaceful and comfortable journey to your Mum and all those jobs
    Thinking of you over the next days and weeks xx
     
  5. efn

    efn Registered User

    Nov 20, 2015
    2
    Thank you all for your kind words of support.

    Dad passed away at 1pm today. Was able to see him for a couple of hours before I went to get lunch with my sister. We are talking about the radio program and how loved ones seem to pass when you leave them for only a few minutes, when we got the phone call to come back. It happened to us!

    He was at peace. Strangely serene.

    If you are in a similar position and are afraid as we were then listen to the Radio 4 show. It has given us enormous strength to deal with today.

    Goodbye Dad X
     
  6. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,009
    Yorkshire
    My condolences, efn
    I'm so glad you managed to visit your dad and that the information you gained from the programme has helped you and your sister at this sad time.
    Thank you for coming back to let us know.
     
  7. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    So pleased he had such a peaceful passing xx
    Thank you for letting us know, take care in the coming days xx
     
  8. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    I am so sorry for your loss. However, I am glad that you got there in time to see your Dad and glad that he is now at peace.

    Please look after yourself.
     
  9. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,517
    Ireland
    So sorry for your loss efn. But also thankful that it was peaceful, and not a very prolonged struggle, and that you were able to have that final visit. Wishing you strength for the days, weeks and months ahead.
    [​IMG]
     
  10. MeganCat

    MeganCat Registered User

    Jan 29, 2013
    356
    South Wales
    Im So sorry for your loss efn, my aunt passed not long after i left her having travelled quite a distance to see her, i almost feel like i was the last of her close relatives she needed to see before going, and waited for me. We'll never know, but you hear of it happening. Thanks for the link, so kind of you to be thinking of others at this time.
    Best wishes and condolances x
     
  11. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    So sorry for the loss of your Dad, hope his peaceful passing provides some comfort for you and the family in the sad days ahead.
     

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