stopped drinking, morphine driver and radio 4

efn

Registered User
Nov 20, 2015
2
4 weeks to the day Dad was fine in his care home, he's been there almost a year, he was in the top 10% crew I'd say - he was proud of that and sometimes couldn't understand why he was being subjected to an environment that had such a wide range of people and needs.

Then he fell early one morning and broke his hip, had an operation the same day under general anaesthetic, developed mild pneumonia, lost his swallow and ability to talk and spent 2.5 weeks in hospital.

He's now back at the care home, they are doing a great job. However Wednesday afternoon it was time to administer a syringe driver. The usual apparently - morphine, anti-sickness, something to help lessen agitation and a finally something to lessen secretions in the throat to make him more comfortable.

He's stopped drinking anything since, and not opened his eyes. His smile has gone. He's almost gone.

I listened to this show on radio 4 last night that I have to share with David Schneider and Kathryn Mannix regarding end-of-life care and the process of dying. It is incredibly moving and reassuring - do please listen to it. I cannot post it here as I've only just registered.

I woke up early this morning - I'm going to travel down and see him today - it could be the last time - I hope it is the last time. Dementia and Alzheimers has been a long path for us with now a rapid decline - strangely I'm actually quite thankful for that fall. It's been an accelerant. My young children saw him just before the fall - they will remember him in a positive way, "silly Grandad" - it is time you go and see Mum - she's got that list of odd jobs for you in heaven. XX
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,501
Yorkshire
Hello efn
and welcome to TP
Thank you for your thoughtful and moving post
(and to jenniferpa for the link)
I hope your visit comforts you - I wish peace for your dad and your family.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,732
Hello efn
Thank you so much for your post and for thinking of all of us at your very sad time. I hope that you had a safe journey today and that your Dad has a peaceful and comfortable journey to your Mum and all those jobs
Thinking of you over the next days and weeks xx
 

efn

Registered User
Nov 20, 2015
2
Thank you all for your kind words of support.

Dad passed away at 1pm today. Was able to see him for a couple of hours before I went to get lunch with my sister. We are talking about the radio program and how loved ones seem to pass when you leave them for only a few minutes, when we got the phone call to come back. It happened to us!

He was at peace. Strangely serene.

If you are in a similar position and are afraid as we were then listen to the Radio 4 show. It has given us enormous strength to deal with today.

Goodbye Dad X
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,501
Yorkshire
My condolences, efn
I'm so glad you managed to visit your dad and that the information you gained from the programme has helped you and your sister at this sad time.
Thank you for coming back to let us know.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,732
So pleased he had such a peaceful passing xx
Thank you for letting us know, take care in the coming days xx
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,562
Ireland
So sorry for your loss efn. But also thankful that it was peaceful, and not a very prolonged struggle, and that you were able to have that final visit. Wishing you strength for the days, weeks and months ahead.
 

MeganCat

Registered User
Jan 29, 2013
356
South Wales
Im So sorry for your loss efn, my aunt passed not long after i left her having travelled quite a distance to see her, i almost feel like i was the last of her close relatives she needed to see before going, and waited for me. We'll never know, but you hear of it happening. Thanks for the link, so kind of you to be thinking of others at this time.
Best wishes and condolances x