I lost my husband on 26th May this year. Just over 4 months. I usually cry myself to sleep. When I wake up I am just empty. No enthusiasm, no interest in anything. I just drift from day to day. I have very good friends that I can visit and they visit me but it is not him. I hate the fact that our lovely life together is over. And, that it took 11 years of slow loss. I know it is too early to expect to feel ok. But I feel that life is just passing me by. But I am not interested in doing anything about it. I moved to this house 18 months ago to be nearer to better transport and facilities and my son has been helping me to get all the work done. (And there is a lot.) But although I feel better when he is here it is not the same as my husband and I doing the work together. We used to do everything together. I do go to Bowls club. But that isn't the same. Had to stop going 5 years ago because David would not go. Now I am back there but not really enjoying it. Forcing myself to go. I just hope eventually I will start to enjoy life a bit more. I hope your feeling so sad, every time you wake in the morning ,it will subside as it must be horrible. Take care of yourself. xx
Hello Carol
I tried to send you an e-mail last week, to see how you and David were, but, I have had trouble sending and receiving mails.
I am so sorry, I had no Idea that David had passed recently. I know how hard it had been for you over the past few years.
Sadly I lost Stan in September last year, and, Tuesday was the anniversary of his funeral, our final farewell. It was not an easy day, and, I do miss him terribly.
As you have said to Biscuit, it does subside gradually. I do feel Stan is here with me, which makes it more bearable. The last few months were not nice for him, watching him deteriorate, was unbearable. I think of this and thank God for releasing him from that awful disease. He is at peace now, and, as I said, still here watching over me.
I hope you and Biscuit can feel the same way in the coming months. As it was with us caring for them in life, wanting only the best for them, so it is now, knowing they are no longer suffering.
Stan's favourite saying to me, if I was down was, "Don't upset yourself" So I try live by that, for him.
I'm sure all husbands/wives, are looking down saying the same to their loved ones.
Take care both of you.
Izzy, I often think of Bill and his cake making, singing etc, he didn't let the "D" take him easily. Just like my Stan.