Still Thinking About Brother's Inheritance

[MaNaAk]

Hello Everyone!

A short update I have been advised that whilst I will have to sell I have a case for a bigger share of the inheritance due to my teaching because I can't teach in a one bedroom flat and the caring. I even mentioned the tortoises. I will also discuss things with my brothers and I know we have had our differences but I still love them and I would even care for them as well. My main concern was that I would be harassed into buying the first unsuitable flat or issued with an eviction notice. My youngest brother is concerned about his inheritance but he is also concerned that my other brother will obtain an eviction order. Thankyou all for your ideas and support.

M

 

[love.dad.but..]

Has this advice come from a legal professional who deals with inheritance/beneficiary law? Did your father leave his estate to be distributed in equal shares to his children? If so, how can that be changed if one or both brothers do not agree with you, through the courts? Could be costly.

 

[Palerider]

Contesting a Will could leave all of you high and dry -its very expensive and would certaily wipe out the inheritance left on a moderate property

 

[MaNaAk]

Yes! It was but these are things to think about amongst other ideas.

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

The solicitor would write to my brothers first.

MaNaAk

 

[love.dad.but..]

The solicitor would write to my brothers first.

MaNaAk

In that case, you probably need to be prepared that your brothers may not be happy to receive such a letter and be sure in your mind that this course of action is really what you want in terms of risking remaining on any sort of reasonable terms with either/both of them if they don't take it very well, particularly as I understand it..this will be the first they would have heard of your intention to contest the will.

 

[Palerider]

Unless there is a considerable sum of money at stake and I mean more than a few hundred thousand I would leave this action well alone. The Will as I understand was made when your parent had capacity and therefore it stands. Also within the Will provision has been made for all of you, how you will argue this I fail to understand as there was no foresight that dementia would ensue and that one of you would take on that care responsibility. The two issues are very seperate, I don't see how you can move forward with this just because you made the effort to care. Don't get me wrong I see your point, but I think you have got yourself confused with two very seperate matters. Think very carefully before you do this.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Without wishing to appear unkind, I really can't see that the fact of your teaching, or being the one who did all the caring, or even that tortoises are involved have any real bearing on the way in which your father's estate should be distributed. That is already set out in his Will. I have some sympathy with your idea that you have a 'case' for a bigger share but that is from a moral rather than legal point of view. You will have to adjust your aspirations to suit your means and start prioritising what you really need - firstly somewhere to live that you like, where you will be comfortable and is affordable, secondly a solution that would allow you to carry on teaching and so on - bearing in mind that you may not be able to meet them all without some compromise. If you continue to erect barriers and don't get on with finding somewhere suitable then you really will face the prospect of confrontation and permanent bad feeling.

 

[jugglingmum]

I personally think the only person who would benefit from this is the solicitor.

I suggest you should sound out 3 different solicitors and ask them chances of success and costs.

Unless your brothers agree to this amicably, in which case why use a solicitor, you would appear to be heading for disharmony and cost. I doubt a court would accept that you are entitled to more than a third of the house.

Your brother's instant response might be to commence eviction proceedings, and then you would end up with no where to live until the house was sold.

As @Palerider says this this sort of action is only affordable with a considerable sum at stake, I would suggest over £1million.

You have more to lose than gain going down this route.

I think @northumbrian_k has summed up my understanding of the legal position

 

[sausagedog]

My advice would be to not go down this extremely precarious route. You stand to lose an awful lot if you do, possibly emotionally & with almost certainty financially - big bucks!! Sometimes in this life, you just have to move forward and compromise even if you don’t feel it’s fair - nothing is for many people - hopefully you will give it all some thought & I hope, make plans for a new start. Make your life easier, not harder.

 

[concerned4]

Have read this post without commenting so far, having been in a position where legal advice was sought the ultimate cost to us was around £80k over a seven year period so would think very carefully about what you are doing regarding employing a solicitor to fight your corner.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Good points from everyone @MaNaAk be very careful..perhaps the solicitor was telling you what you wanted to hear but it seems to me unlikely that your father's will made when he had full mental capacity is unfair. However emotionally unfair you now feel it is to have equal shares...your sole caring years, your current situation or self employment have no bearing on the validity of the contents of the will and ypur father's wishes. I would like to think that the advice was given from the basis of legal fact and precedent than anything else but....

 

[MaNaAk]

That's okay everyone. It was suggested by a friend that I seek a solicitor's advice but of course I don't have to take it. I will be looking to move but I won't be pushed into anywhere unsuitable.

Thank you for caring

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

What I mean to say is I will have a look round first.

MaNaAk

 

[Delphie]

Hi MaNaAk,

I'm just popping in to say that I completely agree with the advice you've been given so far. Having dealt with contentious probate twice in my life I know from personal experience how expensive it can get, very quickly, once you involve solicitors. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against it and in both cases the very expensive legal advice we paid for gave us the results we wanted, but the very first thing you need to do is make sure the law is clearly on your side. If yes, then a legal 'kick up the bum' can be a very effective tool for dealing with people who think they can take the proverbial. But in your case I really fail to see how the law might help you with your problem.

If the will leaves you all equal shares then the only thing you try, if you feel you deserve or need more, is to appeal to their better natures, and that's best done informally. If you have your solicitor write to them first it'll a) cost you and b) almost certainly make them feel less than generous.

I do think that you've a moral case and don't see anything wrong in you reminding your brothers of all the caring you did and how it affected your earning potential and life choices, but if they choose to ignore that then there's little you can do.

The most realistic thing to ask for at this point is time to sort yourself out with somewhere to live and teach. Come up with a strategy and a timeline and see if they'll agree to it. You might also want to consider a temporary solution (renting somewhere not great but good enough for now) just to move things on. Otherwise you might end up with them imposing their deadline and that would take control away from you completely.

I wish you all the very best.

 

[sausagedog]

And just some more friendly advice.....at some point you will need to make plans to move out because if you don’t comply within a reasonable time period, your siblings may apply for a Court Order to have you evicted with legal costs. I would be as proactive as possible to move things forward

 

[MaNaAk]

Hello Everyone!

Just a quick update. After another night of waking up and not getting back to sleep I have signed the probate form and sent it to my brother. I then texted my youngest brother to say that it had been sent and I told him about my sleepless night and that I now need to move on to the inheritance. I told him that I want to be sure that the two of them will be patient whilst I look for a place to live. I also said that his partner's idea of us buying a house together sounded good (she is a lovely girl) I also told him about my sleepless nights.

He said that he was disappointed that I didn't want to discuss any possibilities or eventuality. This wasn't entirely true and the first time he brought it up was one week after dad's funeral. He also said it was more about my issues. He says I've made lots of excuses but when he first brought this up I was pushed towards a decision within a few weeks. He thinks my plan is to stay and not pay rent which is rubbish but then he said he sometimes has sleepless nights and that as long as there are some kind of contingencies for the future he would have been happy.

I sensed something in this text that my brother has never admitted before and the following text suggested that we could find a platonic plateau. It would be good if we came to an arrangement and I could get closer to my brother.

The other brother still has not given either of us his new number but he was quite pleased with my message on messenger and sent me a few practical tips. There were other issues with him but maybe there is a way forward. Which ever way we choose to distribute the inheritance we need to clear out some stuff from the house. My youngest brother says he is not sentimental but my other brother might want some of the stuff for himself or my nephews. I also want a lot of mementos as I cannot part with them yet. So there is a way forward but lets see how things go I have done some background work to see what I can afford. I just want to say to anyone else in this position do not expect invisibles to ever understand what it is like to be a carer but there could be a way forward.

We may have had some difficult times and some recently very upsetting times but I do love my brothers.

MaNaAk