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still terrified


Registered User
Mar 12, 2014
Went to doctors told him my concerns he said I must try and get my partner to come and see him. He will respect my confidentiality and will not mention to my partner that I have concerns about his memory and repetitious behaviour. We are both going be seen at the well man clinic individually and whilst there we will both given a mini mental and if questions asked why they will explain its the norm because we are both over 60 in case he feels that he is the only one being tested. Am hoping to go away for a few days next week I just need time out for me .Can't help but think that my partner is aware he has a problem but his anxiety is him trying to make out all is well. Who really knows ? Or perhaps its me imagining that there is a problem sometimes I feel so confused and hope I am wrong. This thread is very disjointed but its the way I am feeling??:confused:


Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
Buffalo, NY, USA
Not sure what you're asking, but it is so hard, perhaps especially at the start of the journey. Do you and your partner have documents ensuring legal care of one another? These are the first thing to try to address.

I'm in the US, so not sure how it works there, but if you can send a letter to his GP, perhaps they could call him directly and insist he come in for an appointment on some pretense? You should send a letter ahead detailing all you've noticed about the changes in him.

Diagnosis only does so much...we tend to find that focusing on understanding each change and dealing with what needs to happen to accommodate the change is the important thing.

I hope your break is refreshing.


Registered User
Mar 12, 2014
Hi there, I'm sorry to hear about your position. Your doctor sounds like a nice person and has probably dealt with many partners in the same position. Your partner probably is aware of what's happening and might well be in a bit of denial but you owe it to him to get him to this test even if you have to tell a few white lies to get him there. Don't feel you are betraying him, it's not really the sort of conversation anyone wants to have with their loved one. Enjoy your time out for yourself, nothing wrong with that, and clear your head, do some thinking and when you get back make that appointment. Best of luck.


Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
Near Southampton
When I went for my annual CHD and Asthma reviews last year, I was asked if I had any concerns about my memory. I gathered that this is now routinely asked at reviews of older patients -probably a government initiative and a tick in a box needed to qualify for having fulfilled a criteria!
If your partner is worrying underneath about his memory, this would be the opportunity for him to get some help.
Do you think your partner would be more inclined to answer "yes" if you were not present? If so, perhaps you could pop out just before him.