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Still no diagnosis.

Joanie1947

Registered User
Oct 23, 2021
20
0
Psychiatrist says my husband has dementia but shows symptoms of various types, memory loss is not apparent. I am weary. Lots of broken nights through acting out dreams, hallucinations, answering the door to none existent visitors. He tells me before doing anything, emptying the bin , exercise bike, having shower, watching TV. I work in my art studio, converted bedroom and he pops in every 20 minutes to see how I am. He's very anxious about paying bills ,the cost of food and fuel, our middle aged daughters and grandchildren. All of which are fine. He thinks people are in our home and sometimes that we are in an hotel. I love him dearly and have been married 53 years but the constant reassurance and his "needy" disposition are making me want to say "just go away".
It would make me feel less guilty if others sometimes feel this way.Thanks
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,897
0
South coast
Hi @Joanie1947 and welcome to Talking Point.

You do at least have a diagnosis of generic dementia. It can be difficult to make a precise diagnosis and sometimes the diagnosis of which type it is can change as it becomes more obvious as the dementia progresses.

To be honest, though, the exact type is of much lesser importance than getting a diagnosis of dementia itself. Not everyone has the same symptoms of dementia - even if they have the same diagnosis - and the speed of progression can vary enormously.

Do start to get the ball rolling on getting organised. If you havent got POA then get him to do that as a matter of urgency. Ditto his will. If he is receiving his state pension you can apply for Attendance Allowance (if he is still of working age you should be able to get PIP) and in both these cases he should be eligible for the higher rate as you are having to deal with broken nights. Get either Age UK, or Citizens Advice to help you fill in the forms as it is very easy to downplay his needs. He should also be eligible for Council Tax Exemption.

It doesnt sound as though he needs help with washing or dressing at the moment, but it does sound like he needs occupying. Perhaps its time for a befriending service (various charities offer this) for someone to take him out somewhere, or there is Mens Sheds in various places around the country, dementia hubs that offer various activities, or a day centre. A day centre will need a referral from Social Services, but the rest you can organise yourself by contacting them directly. You will have to pay, but it is not outrageous and the AA/PIP should offset this.
 

Joanie1947

Registered User
Oct 23, 2021
20
0
Hi @Joanie1947 and welcome to Talking Point.

You do at least have a diagnosis of generic dementia. It can be difficult to make a precise diagnosis and sometimes the diagnosis of which type it is can change as it becomes more obvious as the dementia progresses.

To be honest, though, the exact type is of much lesser importance than getting a diagnosis of dementia itself. Not everyone has the same symptoms of dementia - even if they have the same diagnosis - and the speed of progression can vary enormously.

Do start to get the ball rolling on getting organised. If you havent got POA then get him to do that as a matter of urgency. Ditto his will. If he is receiving his state pension you can apply for Attendance Allowance (if he is still of working age you should be able to get PIP) and in both these cases he should be eligible for the higher rate as you are having to deal with broken nights. Get either Age UK, or Citizens Advice to help you fill in the forms as it is very easy to downplay his needs. He should also be eligible for Council Tax Exemption.

It doesnt sound as though he needs help with washing or dressing at the moment, but it does sound like he needs occupying. Perhaps its time for a befriending service (various charities offer this) for someone to take him out somewhere, or there is Mens Sheds in various places around the country, dementia hubs that offer various activities, or a day centre. A day centre will need a referral from Social Services, but the rest you can organise yourself by contacting them directly. You will have to pay, but it is not outrageous and the AA/PIP should offset this.
Thank you,we have most of this in place, befriending is something I will look in to
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,897
0
South coast
Well done with getting things organised @Joanie1947 . Doing all of that will make things so much easier for you in the future.

As well as keeping him occupied, it seems to me that your biggest problem is the broken nights. Have you spoken to his GP about the hallucinations etc? Perhaps he could get a referral to the Community Health Team to see if medication could help.
 

Joanie1947

Registered User
Oct 23, 2021
20
0
Thanks ,we have tried Melatonin at night,it worked for 2 weeks with making nights more peaceful, other sleeping meds make him drowsy into the next day.
Luckily we have a spare room if things get too active for me to rest I just decamp
 

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