Still missing dad after 25 years….

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Cate, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Today is my dad’s anniversary, he died very suddenly of a heart attack 25 years ago today, and I miss every single day.

    He was just sat in the chair waiting to take mum shopping. I will never forget the Police telephoning me to say that dad had died of a fatal heart attack, the shock was immense, the pain of loss unbearable, no preceding illness, just gone in a flash.

    He was such a fun loving man, so very popular, loved by many, and I was daddy’s girl.

    He was also a very brave man. He joined the RAF before WW11, he was a Warrant Office Navigator. During the War, his aeroplane was shot down over Germany. He spent 4 years as a POW in both Stalag Luft 111 and Colditz, because in his words ‘they kept mislaying me’!! He rarely spoke of these times, he believed life was for living today, and for the future, and not in the past.

    My last memory of him was of the evening before he died. I had called in for a cuppa and a chat. Dad had been sailing that day, his absolute passion, he liked nothing better than sailing his boat from Wales to the Devon coast, and his absolute favourite was a trip over to France.

    That day he had been out racing, and very proudly showed me the cup he had won. He was so animated telling me about every leg of the race. He looked tanned and so very healthy, and happy. He had so much more to live for and enjoy.

    I am so very relieved that he hasn’t had to witness the ravages of AD on his other girl, my mum.

    Thanks for listening, I just needed to share how much I love and miss my dad.

    I’m going to dry my tears, and go the Church soon to put some flowers on his grave, and to have a chat. I can hear him say now, 'good grief Cate, flowers, much prefer a bottle of Scotch'. Will have one for you tonight dad. Sleep tight.

    Cate
     
  2. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    sending you love and sympathy Cate
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,659
    Kent
    I`m so sorry Cate.

    I hope you get through the day as best you can and feel peaceful and close to him at his graveside.
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Cate

    What a wonderful testimonial to your father. I hope you have a comforting 'chat' with him today. He would be so proud of the way you are caring for his 'girl'.

    Love,
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Cate,
    Your love for your dad is evident in what you say and how you say it - he sounds to have been a lovely person. Hope that you have not been too sad today, and that sharing your memories has helped.
    Take care. Much love,
    Helen
     
  6. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hiya Cate

    What can i say honey?............i think losing a loved one is something you never get over, no matter how many years pass, there will always be times when the loss is more prominent, especially anniversaries.

    I read a saying somewhere "A loved one may move away - so far that you might never meet again..................and yet they are a part of you forever" You haven't lost all of him Cate, there is still a part of him in you, hang on to that.

    When it comes to Anniversaries we can only celebrate their life and the memories they left us.

    Chin up honey, hope you feel better soon.

    Love as always
    Alex x
     
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Daddy's girls ......

    Well I hope mine and yours (dads) and everyone else's who had the priviliege to have a daddy's girl are raising a few double malts tonight together wherever they are .....:)

    One thing that drives me in caring for mum - is knowing whatever she throws at me - is that this is what dad would have wanted me to do ........ and yes, if my 'pay-back' was only to spare him the pain ..... I still owe my idol big-time!!!!!

    Well done on that lovely tribute, Cate ...... and G'bless your dad ......

    Hugest hugs and loves, Kaz, x
     
  8. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Hello Cate, thanks for sharing that with us. It was beautifully expressed and what you say is so true, that he was lucky to have missed seeing your mum's AD, bless him. Take care Cate, I hope you had a peaceful day. ( My dad died suddenly 36 years ago, I miss him too, and so does my mum.) Love from Deborah.
     
  9. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006
    420
    Thanks for sharing the memories of your precious dad, Cate. Hope you had a double whiskey on him today and found some peace and calm during your chat with him. He'll always be around in one way or another.

    Love, Tina xx
     
  10. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Thank you all so very much for your kind words, it really helped me to share this day with you all.

    And yes, I did raise a glass of single malt to my dad tonight.

    Nite nite, God bless dad.

    Love

    Your girl. xxxx
     

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