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Still Finding Things In Odd Places

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,980
Essex
Hello Everyone!

I am still and finding things in odd places! A week ago I came across mum's collection of signed Elvis photos (she was
a fan before he was famous) and a photo of Liberace alongwith letters announcing her engagement and the births of myself and my brothers. Yesterday I found a plastic bag tied at the ends and with a full
hoover bag inside. It was put nearly on a shelf in the box room and I honestly think that dad's Alzheimers was probably there more than a year before diagnosis!

MaNaAk
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
398
That sounds about right. I think more of us have to scratch our heads over things that cannot be found! My father was never tidy ( nor am I) but he is now inclined to put things any old where and of course forgets where they are.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,980
Essex
Well the care home gave up on his hearing aids and decided to keep them in the office. This made it impossible for him to play 'Hunt The Hearing Aids'.

MaNaAk
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,134
Dad was always tapping little nails into his walls to hang things on. On close inspection of his front room there are probably hundreds of these tiny holes in huge patches that resemble a well used dartboard where he must have tapped a nail in and changed his mind and moved it a bit and tapped it in over and over again. You can't see the holes unless you stand up close and really look hard then you just see more and more.

He used to line things up too so perhaps he was just trying to be orderly in a haphazard fashion.

I just wonder what was going on in his head at the time or perhaps his memory was so bad that each nail was the first. I find this really strange and a bit disconcerting because this would have been quite a long time ago.

@MaNaAk I think my dad had alzheimers for at least 6 years before he was diagnosed because my mum dropped me some hints before she died in 2011 but she was living with him and it was probably obvious to her.. It took me a year or so after she died to confirm it in my own mind but we muddled through and the diagnosis came much later.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,980
Essex
Dear @Duggies-girl,

I think you're like me whilst I noticed dad's symptoms a year before diagnosis he kept saying that half of his memory had gone before then but this could have been taken as a natural sign of ageing. It was when things were put in strange places that I really started to worry and also he would see people who weren't there. It all seems such a long time ago now .

MaNaAk
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,134
Dear @Duggies-girl,

I think you're like me whilst I noticed dad's symptoms a year before diagnosis he kept saying that half of his memory had gone before then but this could have been taken as a natural sign of ageing. It was when things were put in strange places that I really started to worry and also he would see people who weren't there. It all seems such a long time ago now .

MaNaAk
Yes by the time dad was diagnosed it was glaringly obvious that dad had alzhiemers but I just couldn't get him to the doctors because as he said 'there is nothing wrong with me' I just couldn't bring myself to mention dementia to him because he would have been horrified so we muddled through for years. His GP actually got my phone number from dad some years before and rang me with his concerns. I just told him that I was aware of how dad was and I would try to get dad in for a check up but it didn't happen for a long time.

Losing his car gave me an perfect opportunity because dad said that he had been dizzy and I said that he shouldn't drive his car until the dizziness had been checked out.

It's funny but dad had a couple of friends who visited him during the last couple of years and both were shocked when I told them he had alzhiemers because neither of them suspected anything was wrong was with him because he could hold such a good conversation.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,980
Essex
My dad was very good with host mode as well. Some people were shocked when they asked why they hadn't seen dad for a while I said that he had had to go into a home due to dementia.

MaNaAk
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
590
I am still trying to work out why, when we cleared amounts house after she went into a care home, I found school reports and schoo, photos for my younger two siblings, but nothing for me or my elder sister!
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,134
I am still trying to work out why, when we cleared amounts house after she went into a care home, I found school reports and schoo, photos for my younger two siblings, but nothing for me or my elder sister!
Yes I found birth congratulation cards for my brother and wondered why there were none for me but on thinking about it, I have a vague memory of playing with my baby cards when I was small and knowing me they wouldn't have survived the day.
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
194
Northamptonshire
Yes I found birth congratulation cards for my brother and wondered why there were none for me but on thinking about it, I have a vague memory of playing with my baby cards when I was small and knowing me they wouldn't have survived the day.
Hi there,
Same here. While trying to sort through some things in mums house I came across lots of photos of my brother, and childhood handmade cards, pictures, and Christmas/ birthday cards. But nothing of me or of mine. Which quite upset me. And as mums dementia got worse she didn’t recognise me as her daughter, everyday it was a battle explaining that I was her daughter and was here to help her, she would often throw me out of the house. But she remembered my brother clearly! Now mums in a CH it’s the same, she smiles at my brother and sneers at me and will not engage with me at all. Yes she wants hugs from my brother. I actually feel like not bothering visiting anymore. Because she doesn’t know who I am and won’t even look at me
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
590
Hi there,
Same here. While trying to sort through some things in mums house I came across lots of photos of my brother, and childhood handmade cards, pictures, and Christmas/ birthday cards. But nothing of me or of mine. Which quite upset me. And as mums dementia got worse she didn’t recognise me as her daughter, everyday it was a battle explaining that I was her daughter and was here to help her, she would often throw me out of the house. But she remembered my brother clearly! Now mums in a CH it’s the same, she smiles at my brother and sneers at me and will not engage with me at all. Yes she wants hugs from my brother. I actually feel like not bothering visiting anymore. Because she doesn’t know who I am and won’t even look at me
I was not upset in the slightest, I was with my younger brother and sister when we went through the paperwork and we just found it funny! I suspect because of the age gap that my reports had been stored somewhere else and have just been mislaid, possibly when my father dies and mum had to start looking after the filing.

I was hoping to find my fathers old holiday diaries, I know they existed but it looks as if mum threw them away. She had a big clear out of his things a year or so after his death without telling us which was a shame.
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
194
Northamptonshire
I was not upset in the slightest, I was with my younger brother and sister when we went through the paperwork and we just found it funny! I suspect because of the age gap that my reports had been stored somewhere else and have just been mislaid, possibly when my father dies and mum had to start looking after the filing.

I was hoping to find my fathers old holiday diaries, I know they existed but it looks as if mum threw them away. She had a big clear out of his things a year or so after his death without telling us which was a shame.
Hi lynnmax,
I didnt find it funny at all. I found it very upsetting. There was nothing of mine, as if I didn’t exist. It’s just Very odd and unexpected. When our father died 30yrs ago mum threw all his belongings away, she became very selfish and just wanted all new furniture etc, seemingly for her new life
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
590
Hi lynnmax,
I didnt find it funny at all. I found it very upsetting. There was nothing of mine, as if I didn’t exist. It’s just Very odd and unexpected. When our father died 30yrs ago mum threw all his belongings away, she became very selfish and just wanted all new furniture etc, seemingly for her new life
Apologies if I appeared flippant, I can see how upset you must have been at your mums attitude towards you. My mum treated all us children the same, she loved us equally and appreciated our help - most of the time anyway! I could see how her dementia changed her personality but I have very happy memories of her pre Alzheimers which I hang on to.
 

ChangeHappens

New member
Sep 21, 2020
2
Hello Everyone!

I am still and finding things in odd places! A week ago I came across mum's collection of signed Elvis photos (she was
a fan before he was famous) and a photo of Liberace alongwith letters announcing her engagement and the births of myself and my brothers. Yesterday I found a plastic bag tied at the ends and with a full
hoover bag inside. It was put nearly on a shelf in the box room and I honestly think that dad's Alzheimers was probably there more than a year before diagnosis!

MaNaAk
It just kinda comes with it. And I'm sorry to say that it's not going to get any better or easier. I'd make sure anything that is important to you or other family members gets put somewhere safe. I'd also remove anything that could be harmful. And please remember that most Alzheimers patients will start wondering off. I had to put special locks on the doors and cabinets that had cleaning supplies or tools. Just try to stay prepared for ANYTHING and don't lose your sense of humor...
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,220
Southampton
when my mum died my dad had a new lady who has also since died, he got all the pictures of us girls and mum photos wedding etc grandchildren gave them to my sister otherwise he was going to throw them out like the life he had with my mum and subsequent families werent important anymore or wanted
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,980
Essex
It just kinda comes with it. And I'm sorry to say that it's not going to get any better or easier. I'd make sure anything that is important to you or other family members gets put somewhere safe. I'd also remove anything that could be harmful. And please remember that most Alzheimers patients will start wondering off. I had to put special locks on the doors and cabinets that had cleaning supplies or tools. Just try to stay prepared for ANYTHING and don't lose your sense of humor...
Dear @ChangesHappen,

Sadly dad passed away last year but I will probably find more strange things in strange places. I kept my sense of humour throughout his illness and we were able to laugh together. Please have a read of my thread ' The Lighter Side Of Alzheimers'.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,980
Essex
when my mum died my dad had a new lady who has also since died, he got all the pictures of us girls and mum photos wedding etc grandchildren gave them to my sister otherwise he was going to throw them out like the life he had with my mum and subsequent families werent important anymore or wanted
Dear @jennifer1967,

That's very sad. Dad more or less did the opposite which is why clearing is taking a long time.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,220
Southampton
Dear @jennifer1967,

That's very sad. Dad more or less did the opposite which is why clearing is taking a long time.

MaNaAk
they did it again with my nan but i have all her photos which i organised into albums. also all her papers,wouldnt believe what she kept. hp agreements from the 50s my great grandad and gr nans death certificate from about the forties even a bill for the flowers for her funeral. her wedding pics and as a young girl. in there as well was letters from a brother to my nan when he was a pow with the germans in stalag 4 i think and they were postcards all with the same wording on them .even had embroidered xmas and birthday cards social history in one tin guess where my hoarding has come from!!
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
398
My dad never throws anything away. When the inevitable eventually happens I will have a massive task on my hands. But he has been like that since long before he was a PWD.