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Still feel a sense of disbelief Dads gone

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by keywest67, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. keywest67

    keywest67 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    169
    Coventry
    My Dad died in November following a three year Alzheimer's decline........I knew something was not right with Dad going back several years, I wrote to his GP about my concerns and attended a number of appointments with him but the upshot is they said it was just down to normal ageing, I confess Alzheimer's came to my mind a number of times as Nan had it but when a Doctor tells you all ok I guess i wanted to believe it. 3 years ago Dad had a heart attack and his blood pressure went very low and starved his brain of oxygen, when he came out his opp to have a stent fitted he was a very different person.......he was someone who had mid stage Alzheimer's, was hallucinating, aggressive, blizzare behaviour, we went through all kinds of hell with him and did everything we could to help but his decline was rapid and he is now gone.
    He died of pneumonia and he was 76 years old, he had always been fit and strong and kind and caring, I have seen Dad every week of my life and now he's not here, when I look at photos and think about him I feel a sense of total disbelief this has happened to us and he died in such a horrendous way with no food or drink and he was just a skeleton in a bed when he died.........I try to stay strong, life goes on and I try to think of the good times..........I know people die in terrible circumstances but how do you come to terms with what has happened............forever seems like an unbearable thought to never see the ones you love again..........a brokenhearted daughter who feels very sad today
     
  2. Neph

    Neph Registered User

    Jan 27, 2014
    179
    It's early days for you, I lost my dad to cancer five years ago and while I still miss him terribly it is easier to deal with, I still have days where I get upset that he isn't here, but they are not so frequent or as debilitating as they were. I have a cry, sniffle and then get on with life. He is always in my thoughts though.

    All I can say is that the rawness of it all will fade and the fond memories will remain. Keep him in your heart, but learn to move on, it isn't easy and somedays you will want to kick the wall and scream it isn't fair, but I promise it does get easier.

    Sending you a hug and a shoulder for those bad moments x
     
  3. keywest67

    keywest67 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    169
    Coventry
    Thank you Neph, I really appreciate your kind words, life isn't fair is it,I do have lots of great memories and need to concentrate and block out the difficult times when Alzheimer's took hold , thank you x
     
  4. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    856
    WEST SUSSEX
    So sad for you Keywest - it is hard to lose someone you have cared for, for such a long time but dementia is a cruel disease and you must try to take comfort from the knowledge that your dear Dad is peaceful now. Try to remember the better times and do not concentrate on the last few hard years - as time passes you will still grieve for him but with an easier heart. Loving thoughts WIFE
     
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