Still drawn to this site.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by sheilarees53, Feb 2, 2008.

  1. sheilarees53

    sheilarees53 Registered User

    Apr 11, 2006
    Beckenham Kent
    It's been nearly three weeks since mum died but I still find myself logging on and reading the posts on here.

    Mum's funeral was very sad and emotional but everyone said it was a good reflection of her life. I pick up her photo everyday and find myself 'talking' to her. I used to find going to visit her in the NH really difficult but I find that I miss it, strange.

    I think I am still a bit numb about it all and I have had bronchitis nearly constantly since before Christmas so perhaps that is my body's way of saying slow down a bit.

    Now comes the hard bit, I have so many forms to fill in and really can't face doing it but if I don't no-one else will.

    I want to thank everyone who read my posts and left messages after mum died. It means a lot that you all understand about this dreadful illness and all its consequences.

    I send my love and best wishes to everyone and hope that you can all be strong and support each other through the coming months and years. Love Sheila
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Sheila,
    This site is here for as long as you need it, you know that. Just be kind to yourself now. You`ve had a rough ride and that`s probably why your health isn`t so good.
    Love xx
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Sheila

    I'm glad you still want to be part of our family. You're welcome to post as often as you want. In a way, it's a link with your mum.

    It's no time at all since you lost her, and you must be missing her terribly. The grieving process takes a long time, and you will never forget your mum. Gradually, you'll be able to remember her with less pain.

    What you have to do now is look after yourself. I'm not surprised you've been ill, I'm sure you're right that your body needs some R&R. Take some time to rest. If you want to think about your mum, then do that. In time, you'll come to remember the good times, and the pain will begin to ease.

    And come and talk to us, whenever you like.

  4. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    Ashford, Kent

    I too lost my mum recently (just over 2 weeks ago). Losing her is the reason I joined. My Dad has dementia and I am now his sole carer (they both have lived with me for the past 5 years).

    I feel totally numb most of the day, and understand exactly how you are feeling. My husband sorted the paperwork/funeral etc.. but, I am the one now having to deal with registering the EPA for my Dad, arranging Day Care (which he doesn't think he needs), and generally facing up to realising just how bad his illness is (my mum had hid a lot of his irrational accusations from me).

    I am finding that the stuff I have to sort urgently for my Dad is kind of pushing my grieving into the background if that makes sense.

    I am tearful in the day, but have to try keep calm so I can sort things out. At the end of the day I fall into bed, then cry my eyes out for my mum.

    I think grief makes us all think and feel differently. I swing from numb, to what I can only describe as waves of total sadness sweeping over me causing me to sob my heart out.

    I am sure everyone here will be happy to keep reading your posts and lending their support.

    Beverley x
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Sheila,
    6 months since my mum died and I still come here fact, in some ways, the realisation of the past few years is just beginning to hit me.
    I pass the Nursing Home every time I go to dads, and so want to go in.....just want mum to still be there. Think we all just have to be prepared to accept that grieving takes time, and I know that when the time is right to move on...we will know.
    Take care.
    Love Helen
  6. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    And why shouldn't you my pet; grief is such a mixture of huge emotions, there's no harm at all in expressing your thoughts and your sorrow to your Mum now. You were robbed of being able to have rational conversations with her towards the end of her life but now you can, perhaps, recall more easily the person she used to be rather than the frail 'patient' which she became.
  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Sheila
    there is a place here for anyone who has lost a loved one.
    It helps to talk,it helps to know that othr people are or have experienced similar feelings and thoughts.
    I speak to my Peg's picture every morning and every night at bedtime,plus a few dozen times throughout the day.
    Post as often as you wish Sheila.
  8. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    leigh lancashire
    Hi sheila,i have dads funeral tomorrow/today!i can't sleep as i know i will wake up too find its the time.i am staying up to postpone it!i like you hope that i will always have my friends here on and condolences for you loss elainex
  9. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Elaine,
    How did the funeral go?....How are you doing? Thinking of you.
    Love Helen

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