Steep Decline in Last 4 weeks

ConfusedBiker

Registered User
Dec 27, 2017
21
0
I have had a bit of a rollercoaster the last 2 months..

I posted that my father passed away in Jan following a massive stroke, then 1 week later mum (advanced vas dem) fell while I was helping her off the loo. She was taken into hospital and has been in since, now about 6 weeks.

During that time mum has gone from being cheerful and responsive to withdrawn and totally unable to speak. She now no longer looks at me. The worst decline came just over a week ago when I got a call from a nurse saying that mum was unresponsive and possibly approaching end of life. I rushed in to find that she had 'woken' but was clearly in a lot of pain so after speaking with the doctor he prescribed mum morphine patches. I was told mum had suffered another mini-stroke or TIA but since then she has been mute and extremely withdrawn.

I am desperate for mum to come back home, but the package of care can't start until 24th March and the hospital need mum's bed so they have said they're going to move her to a NH for the interim period!

I have made my feelings clear that I don't want her moved until she comes home, but the Ward Manager admitted that they're desperate for the bed.

It's heartbreaking as I feel mum has the right to die comfortably and at home, and I'm massively worried now that, if moved, she might decline further and possibly not even make it home.

I don't know if mum can feel depression, but that is how she looks now, up until she went went into hospital I wouldn't have said she was suffering, but now I'm not so sure.

Sounds awful I know, but I hope she doesn't have to go through much more of this.... :`(
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Oh, @ConfusedBiker I am so sorry to hear about your mums further deterioration.
I'm massively worried now that, if moved, she might decline further and possibly not even make it home.
Yes, that is possible, but it might also happen while your mum is in hospital too.
TBH, I would have thought that a NH would be a much nicer environment than a hospital. Hospitals are not good for PWDs - there is too much bustle and noise and the staff dont generally understand much about dementia.
Try to think of it more as a convalescent place.
 

ConfusedBiker

Registered User
Dec 27, 2017
21
0
Oh, @ConfusedBiker I am so sorry to hear about your mums further deterioration.

Yes, that is possible, but it might also happen while your mum is in hospital too.
TBH, I would have thought that a NH would be a much nicer environment than a hospital. Hospitals are not good for PWDs - there is too much bustle and noise and the staff dont generally understand much about dementia.
Try to think of it more as a convalescent place.

Hi Canary

I just would've thought that for the sake of a few days to a week moving to a strange environment isn't really in mum's best interest.

As it happens, it doesn't matter what I want - they can move mum anyway.

Truth is, I just want her home. I know she'd rather be home too, even if she can't say so!

A
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Hi Canary

I just would've thought that for the sake of a few days to a week moving to a strange environment isn't really in mum's best interest.

As it happens, it doesn't matter what I want - they can move mum anyway.

Truth is, I just want her home. I know she'd rather be home too, even if she can't say so!

A

I’m so sorry this is happening to you & your mum. I’m at this avenue too. Although my mum does need a care home & we are trying to find a placement for her.
My mum has had a steep decline & then an ever steady slow decline since her admittance to hospital. She also has mixed dementia - more Vascular than Alzheimer’s.
 

ConfusedBiker

Registered User
Dec 27, 2017
21
0
I’m so sorry this is happening to you & your mum. I’m at this avenue too. Although my mum does need a care home & we are trying to find a placement for her.
My mum has had a steep decline & then an ever steady slow decline since her admittance to hospital. She also has mixed dementia - more Vascular than Alzheimer’s.

Thanks for your reply.

I wish I could focus on some kind of light at the end of the tunnel to try to make it easier, but I obviously realise what that means for mum....

So difficult to be in this situation, sometimes feels like a punishment!
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Thanks for your reply.

I wish I could focus on some kind of light at the end of the tunnel to try to make it easier, but I obviously realise what that means for mum....

So difficult to be in this situation, sometimes feels like a punishment!

It’s not a punishment but I know it does feel like it. The light at the end of the tunnel means only one thing & that is the ultimate release from the twilight zone. My mum has moments of clarity & reckons the other women in her ward are all idiots & not right so I have to tell her that they are also ill. She doesn’t think she is ill at all!
 

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