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Staying positive

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Irishgirl57, Jan 12, 2016.

  1. Irishgirl57

    Irishgirl57 Registered User

    Jan 21, 2014
    Florida, USA
    This was one of my greatest strengths for the first 4 years. Lately I just seem down, can't read books, I can't drive, I can't work, not functioning in social situations, etc. but none of this is getting me anywhere. I know that to be positive, I need to be grateful. I'm having a hard time right now. Feel like the rug has been ripped out from underneath me, things that I thought to be true, aren't, My support system isn't what it was. Am I being paranoia? Is it the illness ...

    It's so frustrating. I have an appointment at the neurologic center tomorrow to meet with the counselor. I'm hoping to regain some stability in my life ..... I'm afraid, one of these times I wont regain that. I'm afraid....

    As always, thanks for being here....
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    I hope the appointment goes well :)
  3. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    British Isles
    Sorry you're having a tough time Donna. Really hope that the counsellor offers some help.

    Even though you don't feel able to do a lot of things right now maybe you just need to accept how well you have managed for the last 4 years and that you need a rest? Hope there are some relaxing things that you can still enjoy while your batteries are recharging. Are there any little treats you can indulge in to try to spoil yourself?

    It's great that you've had such a positive attitude but please don't push yourself too hard.

    Hoping you feel better and stronger soon. Take care.
  4. Irishgirl57

    Irishgirl57 Registered User

    Jan 21, 2014
    Florida, USA
    You are so sweet ... I have pushed way to much from the middle of November thru the holidays... I am relaxing. Acceptance has always been key to all my issues. Thank you so much for caring, it means the world to me
  5. LoisJean

    LoisJean Registered User

    Here us what I want you to know, Irish:

    I am brand new to this..It took me ages to find the right forum that might help me and frankly I couldn't find any that originated in the U.S that seemed to be of any functioning service. I suffer from many of the same symptoms you do, and I have suffered them for what seems to me, a very long time.

    For over 40 years I worked as a professional nurse with geriatric patients who suffered from dementia and even had the honor of helping to supervise the creation of a Alzhiemer's unit back when we were still not certain of what the disease was all about. This was done in hopes of understanding better the differences between Alzheimer's Disease and other dementias. This work was highly rewarding for me and I personally learned a great deal from the patients, their families and the speciality staff co-ordinating the constructs of that program. Isn't it ironic that for all my 'vast knowledge and experience', I simply didn't or wouldn't or couldn't see it in myself :confused: I will say that another chronic disease I have produces some of the same symptoms and after over two years of thinking IT was my problem, the second opinion of a specialist in that disease assured me it isn't.

    Over these past few months have I been alerted to the idea that I more than likely have vascular dementia. I say 'more than likely' because a passing statement from my general practitioner indicated that it's likely vascular dementia based on a brain scan, (MRI), revealing vascular changes in the white matter, my long term diagnosis of peripheral vascular disease which has already closed off one renal artery and a part of an intestional artery which resulted in the removal of part of my transverse colon. So, it's not a long stretch to figure that now it's affected my ceberal cortex, too. However, my doctor did not prescribe--he sent me to a local neurologist who, after a 5 minute exam and taking his time out for 3 personal cell phone calls, told me my problem is "depression" and I needed to go to a psychiatrist.

    Now, I feel a compelling need to get to a reputable neurologist. I live in a rural area of Michigan where 'reputable' anything is difficult to find. I wish I lived in England--it seems the folks there are a bit more attentive to the needs of this particular problem. What with 'memory clinics' and all. How nice it would be to have such a thing near me. (Just a passing thought, not a resentment.)

    But..I digress..

    Irish, I need you to know how much you help me. You actually have the disease! You experience it first hand, inside yourself. I get such a sense of relief just reading your descriptions of symptoms, your fear, your anger and confusion and yes, even your paranoia. From these expressions, you tell me that I am not alone and you remind me to remind myself that fear is : False Evidence Appearing Real. You remind me to stop with the trying to control it all. Mostly, you remind me that when I cannot trust myself, I need to trust others. I can't do this alone. I just can't. I am so friggin' grateful to God for you.

    I absolutely appreciate each and every caregiver who shares their experiences with their family and friends because it alerts me to what may come that hasn't already. They help me. My husband and I are physically seperated; and while he is a daily visitor and helps me immensely with chores that I am no longer capable of doing due to my other disability, he is not emotionally equipped to deal with dementia. This is abundantly clear. So, I share with him many of the experiences of caregivers on this site. Sometimes he seems to truly be interested.

    I apologize for my 'wordiness'. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, too.

    Peace, LoisJean
  6. Irishgirl57

    Irishgirl57 Registered User

    Jan 21, 2014
    Florida, USA
    Thanks Lois ... A lot of info to digest. I hope you continue to share with us ... It is always helpful to hear experience strength and hope for others ~ Donna

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  7. shelagh

    shelagh Registered User

    Sep 28, 2009
    The difficulty of acceptance

    Like you Donna I have felt that the best way to be is to be as positive and as accepting as possible. I think I have managed fairly well but it gets harder and harder as Alzheimer' s continues on its sometimes slow but relentless journey. I described it recently as like having an evil yellow toothed rat in my brain that is slowly but steadily gnawing away]at my memory my cognition and my competence. I am becoming more and more aware of how hard it is for Paul who in many ways is much more sick than I am. Yesterday I asked him to take me to a meeting about new arrangements for incontinence products (The local NHS has in its wisdom passed the service which worked perfectly over to a private contractor)I had got the date wrong in spite of having written it down so we had yet another wasted journey. All we can do is stay as supportive as we can to each other and pray that somehow a cure is found. Probably not in time for us but perhaps for others. It is so hard not to get depressed, Take care of yourself and as another TP member said do something you like doing,

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