Staying in bed

[thebes]

I am wondering what to do for the best. My OH has been increasingly difficult to get up in the mornings for some weeks, and over Christmas and the New Year we got out of the usual routine with our regular morning carer. Now it is proving very hard for us to get back into it, he simply won't get up for her, and it takes me all my powers of persuasion to get him to agree. Usually I can go out in the morning while she is here, but now If I am not here he will remain in bed. Does it matter? I have accepted that his AZ is taking another dip because of other things, but I have been very reluctant to let him be in bed too much as his mobility is already poor, and he is prone to chest infections. He does seem very tired, bless him and I am concerned I am being too tough in my efforts to keep him reasonably fit. I do also worry that when he sleeps so much, his brain is not getting any stimulation so he will deteriorate faster. Local professionals, who have rarely actually seen him, tell me he should be out of bed as much as possible.
Left to do as he wishes he would stay dozing in bed until midday, having drinks but not eating . Then he would be up in his chair in the living room and have breakfast and lunch combined. If the weather allows we go out for an hour or so in the afternoon, but he likes another hour or so in bed before his evening meal at 6pm, and is asking to go to bed again by 8pm. He then usually sleeps quite well, with some restless periods, until about 9am. His general health, blood tests etc are all fine.
Hopefully some reading this have similar experience and will share how they handled it please.

 

[Scarlett123]

I am wondering what to do for the best. My OH has been increasingly difficult to get up in the mornings for some weeks, and over Christmas and the New Year we got out of the usual routine with our regular morning carer. Now it is proving very hard for us to get back into it, he simply won't get up for her, and it takes me all my powers of persuasion to get him to agree. Usually I can go out in the morning while she is here, but now If I am not here he will remain in bed. Does it matter? I have accepted that his AZ is taking another dip because of other things, but I have been very reluctant to let him be in bed too much as his mobility is already poor, and he is prone to chest infections. He does seem very tired, bless him and I am concerned I am being too tough in my efforts to keep him reasonably fit. I do also worry that when he sleeps so much, his brain is not getting any stimulation so he will deteriorate faster. Local professionals, who have rarely actually seen him, tell me he should be out of bed as much as possible.
Left to do as he wishes he would stay dozing in bed until midday, having drinks but not eating . Then he would be up in his chair in the living room and have breakfast and lunch combined. If the weather allows we go out for an hour or so in the afternoon, but he likes another hour or so in bed before his evening meal at 6pm, and is asking to go to bed again by 8pm. He then usually sleeps quite well, with some restless periods, until about 9am. His general health, blood tests etc are all fine.
Hopefully some reading this have similar experience and will share how they handled it please.

Hi, and I'm sorry to hear of your problems Does it matter, you ask, if hubby stays in bed? There's no hard and fast rule, and I can only speak of my own experiences, but I used to ensure John was awake at a reasonable time, so that I could take him to the Day Centre, when he attended, but left him to "sleep in" on other days.

As time went on, he slept longer and longer, and I used to think that at least he was resting, and obviously needed it. If you have a daily carer, then at least you know that he is safe whilst you're out. I wish you both well.

 

[thebes]

Hi, and I'm sorry to hear of your problems Does it matter, you ask, if hubby stays in bed? There's no hard and fast rule, and I can only speak of my own experiences, but I used to ensure John was awake at a reasonable time, so that I could take him to the Day Centre, when he attended, but left him to "sleep in" on other days.

As time went on, he slept longer and longer, and I used to think that at least he was resting, and obviously needed it. If you have a daily carer, then at least you know that he is safe whilst you're out. I wish you both well.

Thanks for your comments Scarlett, the more I think about it the more I realise that I will have to go with the flow rather than struggling to hold on to how things have been. I have not been able to get my dear OH back to day centre since he was so ill with pneumonia in the summer. He just is too tired and the effort that would be involved appals him. He retains quite a lot of awareness despite the many other common AZ issues. He is markedly less sociable than previously and won't go to AZ cafes, and anything else unless I am with him and it is only for about an hour. And although the 14 year age gap between us has never mattered until now, perhaps at 86 he is entitled to take it as easy as he wants