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Staying in bed all day


Registered User
Dec 14, 2015
Hi. I'm new to this forum so not sure if I'm posting in the right area, just looking for some advice.

My grandfather has recently been diagnosed with dementia, he lives with my grandmother, they are both in their late 70s. My grandmother is very active and outgoing and takes part in several social groups. My grandfather has never been anywhere near as active, but would usually come to family events etc when asked by my grandmother. He has always napped at some point during the day, but over the last year this has increased so significantly to the point that he now is only out of bed for a couple of hours a day. He'll stay in bed until mid afternoon, and only get up to eat a meal cooked by my grandmother. My grandmother takes his medication to him as otherwise he just would not take it. He's in early stages of dementia, he's sometimes forgetful and makes strange comments, but is generally aware of what's going on. But he's lost all interest in daily life. He has also changed from being such a particular and well presented man, to taking little care with himself, wearing dirty clothes, and not bathing regularly. He has been prescribed anti depressants but we've seen no improvement as yet. I know this must be upsetting for my grandmother but I don't think she's fully acknowledging the situation. The only thing I can think of, is that as a family we should be making him get up and washed and dressed at a sensible time, and spending time occupying him so he doesn't go back to bed. I don't know how easy, or fair on him, this would be tho. I'm just worried that if something doesn't happen soon then it'll be too late to do anything, and he's going to end up sleeping the rest of his life away. Can anyone offer any advice pls?


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Hello and welcome to TP and yes you are in the right section of the forum as you obviously care for your grandfather.

This is a tricky question to answer as forcing someone to do something they do not want to do can cause some agitation and unpleasant actions. I can understand your thoughts though as you can see someone just sleeping his life away.

My reaction is that your grandfather's GP should be consulted; maybe a letter explaining the worry. This sleepiness could be the illness, medication or through some other cause. Having said this not sure whether a GP would consult with a grandchild of their patient, but if there is no one else to do it its worth a try.

Sorry not being particularly helpful but others may come along with their experiences shortly. My husband hardly ever slept so he was at the other end of the scale!


Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
My first thoughts were depression, and it may well be that the medication for depression isn't working. (Not that I'm in a position to diagnose anything, but my husband suffered similar symptoms at one time). Certainly worth a note to his GP, but as Jan says, they may not be prepared to discuss this with you.

little shettie

Registered User
Nov 10, 2009
Hi Charlie, I have to say my mum went through the same thing. We got her on anti depressants and had to increase the dose to make a difference and they did. I felt with mum though she was in denial of her illness, she knew something was wrong and therefore felt very depressed and unable to cope. Once the AD kicked in, oh she was almost like her old self. Speak to the GP and see if he can increase the dosage or try another brand. Hope you get GD sorted. Good luck xx


Registered User
Aug 29, 2011
Losing interest in things and personal hygiene could be put down to the dementia...I am not sure anti depressants are helpfull in this scenario ...but I would let him spend time in bed if he is happy and gently encourage his getting up times as much as possible

little shettie

Registered User
Nov 10, 2009
Yes I agree this behaviour can certainly be down to the dementia. However I think that AD are worth a try. I certainly didn't want my mum wasting away in bed and once they began to work, she was a different person. It's hard to know what to do with this rotten disease but all I can say is I have tried everything I possibly can to give my mum the will to carry on and so far, 6 years after her initial diagnosis and I have to say, many ups and downs, she is doing better than I could've hoped for. Don't give up trying x