1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. velo70

    velo70 Registered User

    Sep 20, 2012
    177
    Devon
    Hi. About every third day, now, my wife simply shows no interest in anything. Seems to be a recent pattern. She is quite happy, and snoozes most of the day. Also sleeps well during the night. Diagnosed july 2012 so does this seem a normal progression. She will quite happily chat, when I go into the rooms, but is otherwise happy to stay put.
     
  2. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    My husband has also taken to sleeping for very long periods. If I didn't insist on him getting up he'd stay in bed all day. As it is he goes straight to sleep in his chair. In some ways it mkes my life easier but I wonder if it is ok and just a phase or, as you say, a natural progression.
     
  3. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,588
    My FIL has turned into a dormouse too. He sleeps all night otherwise it could be a problem for MIL, trouble is she misses him while he sleeps so much during the day.

    I can't say I noticed it with my Mam, she had morning naps, afternoon naps and teatime naps (sounds as though she slept all day!:)) but she was awake and chatty in between naps and slept well during the night.

    FIL just diagnosed but he has had symptoms for 2/3 years. He's 88.
     
  4. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    For th first time in ages, my hubby's actually up and about this morning! He's usually asleep for most of the day, sometimes, not getting up until half ten at night. I can go shopping, he's in bed, and still there when I get back.

    I take it as a natural progression. Body slowly slowing down. How long has your wife had the illness, Velo? We're into our sixth year and my hubby is approaching 82
     
  5. velo70

    velo70 Registered User

    Sep 20, 2012
    177
    Devon
    #5 velo70, Jan 17, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2015
    Hi Chuggalug. Probably about 3 years in. I have been chatting to her today, but am unable to inspire any enthusiasm. Nice day out there, and even the walk along favourite haunts offers no response. She just wants to doze back to sleep. It is so sad to see a waste of life, isn't it? We are now both 80. And lucky enough, otherwise, to be in good health. It seems that one day of fairly normal activity requires a whole day in bed to recover. She seems happy enough for me to go out and about, I guess it is all part of the brain ceasing to function. I read with interest how others cope. Regards to you.
     
  6. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,476
    London
    painkillers

    Hi
    Just wondering if anyone has had this problem my husband Chris had a fall and hurt his ribs doctor prescribed Co-codamol and ibuprofen these seem to be making him more confused and he is hardly sleeping for more than a couple of hours at a time I thought codeine made you sleep but he is having the opposite :mad:
     
  7. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Certainly haven't had this problem nannylondon, but it sounds like terribly hard work for you. Hope it settles down very soon. Maybe the GP can advise and perhaps prescribe alternative medication.
     
  8. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Hi Chuggalug, helpful for me to hear about someone else in the same situation as me. My husband will sleep until I wake him up, and then goes back to sleep if I don't insist he gets up. Very reluctant to get up before 3pm and will easily sleep until 5pm.
    I feel so guilty if I let him sleep but I know he is safe and warm and it allows me to get out to the shops and appointments. Certainly my life is much easier than a lot of people's, although it can be very lonely. OH is 72 and has been diagnosed with vascular dementia since April 2014, he was already disabled though as a result of a brain haemorrhage and I think the dementia has been coming on for a long time, maybe 5 or 6 years.
     
  9. velo70

    velo70 Registered User

    Sep 20, 2012
    177
    Devon
    And so it goes. Yesterday, OH got up voluntarily about 2pm, and happily allowed me to help her get washed and dressed. Went to our daughters for dinner, and enjoyed a couple of glasses of sherry, and a lovely afternoon. Today back into the mist, of no interest in anything, total switch off. Lovely sunny day out there, so frustrating to see a life go to waste. I am at a loss. In turn it brings me to inertia, where I get no chores done, feeling unable to get on with just normal life. I do miss my buddy.
     
  10. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,973
    Suffolk
    Yeah, OH been sleeping well for 3 or 4 months. In his case he goes to bed mid/ late afternoon and sleeps until 7:00, getting up at that time for days when there's something on. At the weekend, I ripped the duvet off at 10:30 cos if we were going out, we needed to get a move on! He is generally v.e . r .y slow at getting anything done, like eating breakfast!
    He used to sleep all night, but I have noticed the last few nights that he has been very restless ( which keeps me awake when I go to bed).
    Just gone into respite, so will see what he's like in a fortnight!
     
  11. Purd

    Purd Registered User

    Dec 10, 2013
    1
    Nottinghamshire
    Sleeping and washing !

    Hi everyone, this is my first post so excuse me if I ramble on :/ I have been reading everyone's experience's with partners sleeping a lot. My OH ( husband 60 ) has started to stay in bed in the mornings, refusing to get up, eyes shut, arms clamping the covers to his sides so cannot pull them back to encourage him to get up. No amount of encouragement will make any difference, he just lays there ! I can hear him get up now and then as if maybe he is looking for the toilet ( which is downstairs ) if I go up to help him he just gets back in bed so I leave him now and it takes several attempts for him to make it to the toilet,after which he will sometimes go to bed again, I have tried to encourage him to stay up but if he wants his bed there is no stopping him. This is soooo frustrating !! But I see you guys leave your OH's to sleep. He has a day centre place recently become available to him but I cannot see the point in using all my energy to try and get him up to get him there ( it's £50 a session ) what are you guy's thought's on wether to try and get him up or leave him be as he's no trouble in bed ???? Also having a problem with getting him in the shower, it take's day's of encouragement and he get's smelly as he doesn't wipe his bottom properly and totally refuse's to let me help him. Any advice will be gratefully accepted and tried :))
     
  12. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,973
    Suffolk
    The only thing I can offer is will he use a urine bottle which is left by the bed? This works pretty well for OH. He is so slow that otherwise he goes before he gets to the loo.
    Don't think I can offer much help with anything else. Though I suspect some of it is headed my way!
     
  13. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    So glad you are otherwise well, velo. Sorry I haven't been back until now. Going through a very rough patch at the moment, which has been going on for the last few months. Let's call it winter blues!

    The poor response seems to be one of the main features. I can't even talk to my hubby, now, although he's begun to start getting himself up in the daytime again. The weather must be warmer, haha :D At least he can still get up and go to bed himself. Has a bit of trouble making drinks, but loves a piece of bread and jam often, throughout the day, and gets that himself. The only time I ever get nervous is when he's in bed for almost all of one set of a 24-hour period. (He's had two strokes in the past year). So when he awakens again, it's almost like he's come back to life. No wonder I find this disease a bit creepy, from time to time.

    Never mind, he's awake and I've got a rock album playing. Currently My Sharona, The Knack. :D
     
  14. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    That's what helps me, Esmerelda. He's in bed, so I go shopping. Actually, it's awesome as it takes so long to do a shop, what with actually getting to town after grabbing the trains to and from the village. Each trip takes between three and four hours, depending on what I'm doing. Got a shop coming up again in a few days, so I let him stay where he's cosy and warm, as you describe. He's not doing any harm. If he wants to sleep, I just let him. He's had this going into our sixth year, now. I can't imagine not being able to remember anything, or communicate. The possibility of that happening, when, for almost all of our lives having those skills as a natural, expected part of life is an appalling situation. I just cannot imagine what it must be like.

    Being a very independent person, I couldn't imagine having someone wash and dress me and get my shopping. I always thought that if I couldn't keep myself clean, I wouldn't want to be alive!

    Isn't life strange...
     
  15. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,714
    Female
    London
    To be honest, I looked out the window this morning and I wanted to stay in bed as well!
     
  16. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Hiya Purd. First of all, I don't know how respite works, although there are people here who do. Thing is, you need the break, and your loved one could benefit from whatever stimulation a session could bring.

    Do they have special activities laid on? Thing is, if it's 50 quid a time, and it being so hard to get your hubby to get up, you don't want the risk of saying "ta-ta" to that amount of money if he doesn't make a session. Do you have to pay it even if he doesn't go? That would hurt. Better to spend it on someone coming in to help with washing and dressing, I would think, but that's just my opinion. The money wouldn't risk being wasted, then.
     

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