1. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    I'm listening to a diatribe about how my husband is being deprived of food! This is something new, and I'm at a loss to know how to deal with it.

    He's had early morning biscuits, breakfast, lunch, tea and biscuits....and supper will be soon , but apparently he's been working hard all day and no one has given him any food! He's vague about the job he's been working so hard at, and doesn't want to eat the biscuits I put out.

    It would be a joke if he wasn't so upset, and it's almost tempting to ask him to sign for his meals tomorrow, as this has been happening quite a lot lately. But obviously that's not the answer.
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,903
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry to hear that Anne. OH has a habit of forgetting she has eaten and continually asks for sandwiches, which can get a bit tiring after a while. Luckily I can usually pacify her with patient reassurance and reminders until she falls asleep if it happens after breakfast, or a biscuit if it is in the afternoon.
    If your husband is a bit more upset than that I can only sympathise and send you my best, Rob
     
  3. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    #3 Rageddy Anne, Jan 31, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016
    Thank you Rob...these delusions are such a strange business aren't they? And since I started this thread my husband's worries have morphed into a desperate monologue about the BIG problem we face, which seems to be all about finding beds for an army of visitors that might turn up. These contingency plans need to be debated and debated until I'm dizzy with the reassurances and the repetition.

    I think he's obsessed with something he's seen on TV....maybe refugees needing accommodation.

    My sandwiches are usually of the doorstep variety, but I guess that soon they'll be getting more dainty!
     
  4. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Oh Kassy, that must have been awful for you! I can't get used to the way those delusions are so real to the person who believes them, so that when they tell other people they're very convincing.
     
  5. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,126
    eastern USA
    My mother this morning was talking to someone above my shoulder, in her room. It was quite unnerving. I wonder what she tells her when I am not there.

    I'm sorry you both are going/have gone through this. I now begin to worry a bit about what my mother must tell the caregivers who come to work here in our home!
     
  6. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    How strange Anne - this is an issue I've had on and off with Mil for a while, and its currently really bad again. Sometimes just within moments of finishing a meal, Mil is asking for 'Jam butties', 'sugar butties', a bit of 'bread and butter', biscuits and cake, insisting that she is 'starving', that she hasn't been given food for 'hours'. She had also started to repeatedly come downstairs and wander at night demanding food (amongst other things). We started, after an horrendous night just over a week ago, to give her both paracetamol, her prn meds and a bowl of porridge, just before bed - which so far is working and she is better now at night - but throughout the day, the demands for food are sometimes non-stop. And it's noticable that the demands for food get worse the more agitated she is.

    Her meds were completely changed about 3 months before Christmas, then tweaked again about 6 weeks before, and then tweaked yet again 4 weeks ago, as a response to initally a change in her dementia diagnosis, and then the 'tweaks' in an effort to ease the deterioration in her behaviour and worsening of her sleep that followed. The being 'starving' started around the time of the first 'tweak' and has worsened stadily since. I am more than half convinced that the meds must be at least partially responsible.

    She has a sweet tooth and a big appetite anyway, so I struggle to keep her weight in check even without the extra demands for food. When she has piled on weight, its affected her arthritus and her breathing, as well as her being heavier makes caring for her physically harder for me. I substitue low sugar/low fat wherever I can, and swap carbs like spuds for extra veg and salad instead. No snacking between meals when she is at home, either (cos I'm well aware that DC are not very good at keeping her from snacks). I no longer leave a fruit bowl where she can help herself as she can (and has) ate so much that she has ended up with the runs before now. However, its horrible to deal with the pleading and begging and pitiful cries that she is 'starving', as well as the tantrums that refusals can provoke.

    I know that she tells the staff at DC that I won't give her food - but as she also tells me that they starve her too - and they are aware of this - it doesn't worry me now as much as it used to. You only have to look at her to see that no matter what other problems she may have, being starved is definitely NOT one of them :rolleyes:
     
  7. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,295
    SW London
    This sort of thing is so upsetting, and not uncommon. But when do you ever see this aspect of dementia tackled in the media? People in general just aren't aware. It would be good if the writers of Corrie or EastEnders worked something of the sort into a storyline - probably the best way of getting it across to a wide audience.
     
  8. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    #8 Rageddy Anne, Feb 1, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2016
    CJ, it would be nice to think that all trained caregivers have been told that they might not always be hearing the truth.

    Ann Mac, I remember you mentioning on your Bizarre thread that your MIL had often said she was hungry. Not sure about the meds, because we've recently tried giving up on the mood- targeting meds and my husband is now on just Aricept and Memantine.

    Witsend, Educating the public, that's an uphill struggle isn't it?

    Kassy, Can't believe the broadcasters cut the bad bits! There must still be an element of not daring to spread alarm when there's no cure.
     
  9. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,295
    SW London
    Yes, I know the 'official' line is usually heavily sanitised and 'cosified' - only the other day I picked up a leaflet about dementia - in the local theatre now I come to think of it! - full of the usual stuff, 'it's possible to live well with dementia', etc. - how many times have we all read that? And where does it ever say, 'However, the same cannot always be said for their carers.' The truth! Certainly not - we can't have that! Far too uncomfortable!

    It's because the official line is almost invariably made 'cuddly' that I thought Corrie or EastEnders might be a good vehicle. They have tackled uncomfortable themes in the past.
     
  10. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    #10 Rageddy Anne, Feb 2, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2016
    We had another hungry day, sneaky visits to the fridge, asking what's for lunch soon after lunch, and when's supper not long after that. Drank a lot of tea as a distraction, so perhaps it was the extra caffeine that has caused husband to wake at 3.45 am!:eek:
     
  11. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,903
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry you have not found a solution Anne, had to put a lock on the fridge to stop OH from raiding in the night or when I am out. She is diabetic so very important. A cheap little plastic thing from Wilko seems to be working so far.

    Hope you got some sleep eventually. Rob
     
  12. Hamster Wheel

    Hamster Wheel Registered User

    Apr 20, 2017
    58
    Derbyshire
    So glad I have found this forum

    Just been chatting with the family about the FridgeRaider then though .....wonder if this is a common issue. Typed in the search 'Fridge raider' and here I am. Thank you all, so much better knowing not alone in this and picking up tips and strategies.:D
     
  13. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Hello Hamster wheel....and welcome. You'll find some good company on here, friends who really do understand the grim realities, and are willing to talk about them.

    I'd forgotten this thread until now; my husband has moved on with his dementia journey, but he still asks what's for lunch and why he hasn't he had any, even when his empty plate is still in front of him!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.