Hello,
Is anyone here a young adult who is a parent and a carer also? If so how do you manage? I've been married a while and am desperate to start a family but being a young adult with caring responsibilities has truly been putting me off. I feel guilty that if I were to bring a baby into our lives I would have less time/energy to help my parents out
Any advice, words of wisdom?
Johnny5
Hi Johnny, I can give you two perspectives.
My husband and I had been married almost 3 yrs before we decided to start our family.
Took a year to conceive each time with a gap in between, so had a newborn and a 5 yo.
When my youngest was 18mths my DH was diagnosed with a brain tumour.
Trying to juggle a toddler, a primary schooler, part time job and and care for a sick husband through 2 yrs of surgeries, radiation and chemo was tough going but we got through it.
Yes there were days where I felt guilty not spending enough time with them, but young children adapt well when they don't know any different and as long as the time you do spend with them is quality time thats what kids will remember.
I was fortunate to have my parents and a sister on hand to help.
My husbands parents had passed away years ago, and his siblings live overseas.
Despite my husbands illness, we are so glad we didn't postpone having children any later in life... If we had, who knows what path our future may have taken?
My husband has been in remission for 10 yrs.
I now care for my Mum with Alzheimers and Dad with cognitive impairment.
Yes there are times also where I have had to put my Mum first, but both my children are very understanding. It is not easy, but I simply have to have whatever support I can get in place. From my sister, to the Alzheimers Society, our Alz Key Worker, the Memory Team and our GP, and of course Talking Point.
Maybe their early life has shaped them as young adults, but my children now 13&18 are very caring and considerate teens. Both of them have done well academically and are House Captains at their schools.
Take all the advice you have been given, and don't put things off for fear of what ifs.