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Starting our journey.

Tjamyo

New member
Sep 23, 2021
1
0
Hi, am new here. My mum had some memory issues a few years ago and they discovered a benign tumour on her thyroid gland. This was removed in the hopes that the issues would resolve. unfortunately this wasn’t the case and she would forget words she wanted to say as she was speaking.
Then in October 2019 my dad passed away very suddenly. We noticed after he passed that she was still forgetting words but also started to repeat questions. We saw our GP but with COVID things have taken a while but we have now finally been referred to the memory clinic. Unfortunately we have no idea how long the referral will take.
So, my mum…
Her current symptoms are forgetting words when speaking or saying a completely wrong word. She forgets what’s been said and will ask the same question over and over again. She struggles to know when she has to take her medications even though they are in dosset boxes and labelled. She often wakes up late in the evening and thinks it’s morning, sometimes getting up and getting dressed ready to start the day. She is highly emotional often extremely anxious or tearful. We saw a nurse at our doctors a few weeks ago and spoke about her memory and being referred but a few days later she had forgotten about it. She can sometimes be unkind in what she says telling me I am horrible to her or that I am trying to send her be away and has once become agitated and thrown something at me which is so out of character. She struggles to remember names and dates and often watches the news and completely misunderstands what she has heard.
I was working full time and mum looked after my 8year old until she went to the corner shop and left him at home. I am now her carer and can honestly say it’s the hardest thing I have ever done. I love my mum but this has completely changed our relationship.
sorry this is so long, it’s the first time I’ve put it all down together.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
1,149
0
Your relationship with your mother is changing from child to carer. She certainly is displaying common dementia symptoms. This is all classic stuff I am afraid. You are of course going to want to make your little boy your priority so you cannot set up arrangements that require you to be at her beck and call all the time. She will sooner or later need carers at home. I presume your mum doesn't live with you. In case you're thinking of moving her in, others here have found that dementia patients and young children do not mix well. It is best to plan ahead, as she is going to get worse. Immediate priority is power of attorney. If you don't already have this, act at once before your mother loses capacity to agree it. Every case is slightly different so you will have to tackle problems as they arise. Reading this forum regularly will help. Good luck.
 

GordonCambs

New member
Sep 20, 2020
7
0
I posted a lengthy description of my journey (Its actually under Care Home Update thread) I can't post a link to is as I am a new menber and need to have posted 10 times before I can post a link.Anyway, it's good to know you are not alone and maybe what I wrote will help as things progress. Probably you can search for my posts
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
74,395
0
Kent
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Tjamyo

If you feel you are being kept waiting for a referral to the memory clinic, please keep giving them a gentle reminder. The services are snowed under and the pandemic has only made things worse, but your mother does need medical support and tests just in case it is not dementia but a reaction to your father`s death.

This link might help you manage your mother`s outbursts.


If you can`t get any help with a referral and could benefit from some valuable support please contact Dementia Connect.


They are open today from 10am-4pm