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Starting falling out amongst ourselves


New member
Mar 28, 2020
My mother has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia and Alzheimer's.

She began to display behaviours that made us think that she wasn't altogether safe at home in her bungalow.

My sibling made the decision to take Mum home with her and look after her there. Since then Mum hasn't been back, only for the odd few hours here and there and to pick up a few personal items etc.
My sibling is retired and is caring for Mum 24/7 with their partner who is also retired. I am currently working full-time on shifts. I have been picking Mum up when I've been on rest days to help out where I can giving my sibling a break.

Because of the situation with the Coronavirus pandemic (and me being in a key worker job, meaning that I am at high risk of contracting the virus) I contacted my sibling to say that I would be unable to have Mum and that she should be isolating in any case.

My sibling and partner became irate and abusive towards me, saying that I was shirking my responsibilities and that I never had done much in the way of helping Mum.
I know it's down to stress and exhaustion and I wish I could do more, but at the moment my hands are tied.

I wish that Mum was still in her own home with a care package in place, but it may be difficult to persuade her to come home to live now after so long, but this current situation is not sustainable . Anyone got any thoughts?


Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
Welcome to DTP @Captainkev
I think you’ve done the right thing by staying away to protect them. I suspect your sibling has realised just what they’ve taken on.
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.


New member
Mar 28, 2020
Thanks Cat27 I think you're right, but it's unpleasant being at odds with family.
I only hope that we can work something out in terms of care to alleviate some of the pressure on my sibling and partner.