Start of incontinence

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kezzamac, Jul 1, 2015.

  1. Kezzamac

    Kezzamac Registered User

    Apr 28, 2015
    Mil has told me this morning that she thinks incontinence has started. She admitted that she wet herself when she got out of bed yesterday. I was beginning to suspect this anyway, as there have been a few other incidents, but I wasnt 100% sure. She is quite lucid this morning, so is aware it's happening and is quite embarrassed, but I have found evidence of it happening before - damp nighty down the side of a chest of drawers, a damp slipper in a cupboard!
    So what do I do now?
    I know nothing about incontinence and don't know what to buy, what's the best etc!!
    Is there any medication that can help?
    Any advice gratefully received.
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    #2 Beate, Jul 1, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2015
    Commiserations. Get her referred to the Continence Service. They can discuss ways of managing and provide you with incontinence pads, though you might not get as many as you need. If the bed covers and mattress are getting wet, buy a waterproof mattress cover and a few Kylie sheets. We got ours from the Complete Care Shop. They look expensive but they last a long time and are really worth it as they can prevent skin problems due to drawing the moisture away from the skin. They are also comfy to lie on.

    Try to prompt your MIL to go to the toilet regularly but do not encourage fluid intake restriction. It's very important to stay hydrated as UTIs can be a real problem.

    Buy a RADAR key on Amazon, they are very cheap (£2.45 or thereabouts) which will open every accessible loo in the country for you if you get caught short when out and about.
  3. Stresshead

    Stresshead Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    Hi Kezzamac I've recently found myself in this position with my dad as well. At the moment it is mainly at night so what I tend to do is swap his his normal underpants for a pair of men's incontinence pants (I'm pretty sure there are women's ones as well) and these keep him dry all be honest they are a God send. Luckily he also doesn't object to wearing them.

    I also have a waterproof sheet but not sure what kylie sheets are so off to have a look at them.

    I'm sure other more experienced people will be able to give you lots of advice.

    Take care xx
  4. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
  5. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    What a coincidence, we had the Inco Nurse visit yesterday! The GP referred Mum, took about 2 weeks. She's only had a couple of accidents but has been wearing the pull-ups since her first stroke back in August because she feels safer. I did get her some pads at first but she prefers the pants as there's no messing about with the pull off strips and sticky bits etc. I remember a few years ago my cousin gave my Auntie the pads and she put one into her knickers upside down... Cousin had to cut her free! :eek:

    I got Mum the Tesco own brand ones, Free Spirit (other pull ups are available!) as they were cheaper than the ♪♫ Oops, my heart went oops ♪♫♪ ones. The cost still racks up though. Also we found they chafe a bit, causing Mum to get sore patches in her groin. Some Sudocreme sorted that out.

    We've been allocated 1 pull-up a day which is sufficient for now, I think you can get more pads though. The nurse had loads of advice about drinking fluids and went into detail about UTIs and how your body processes liquids etc at a rapid rate of knots - I could see it all went completely over poor Mum's head. You'd have thought she'd be used to dealing with dementia patients huh?

    Anyway we got the free pull-ups which was all I wanted. They are made of softer stuff too so won't chafe. Mum couldn't believe it, you'd think she'd been told she'd won the lottery!

    I bought some mattress protectors from Ebay last year as a precaution for both parents (they've slept in separate rooms for years now as Mum snores!) and Dad's Vascular Parkinsonism means he could well be incontinent before long so I got him some unisex pull-ups to keep in his wardrobe - just in case. 'Oh, that's something to look forward to' he said gloomily.

    Oh they deliver the pull-ups too, which is good. At least I won't have to hide them under the Cornflakes in my Tesco trolley any more...!
  6. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    We get two pull-ups a day which is nowhere near enough but apparently they are deemed "cosmetic" and quite expensive. We would be allowed 4 a day nappie style pads but OH does not understand them and the right to dignity and independence for dementia patients isn't something the Continence Service seems to know much about unfortunately. They deliver every six months so one of our bedrooms looks like a warehouse! I buy the remainder of the Tena pull-ups in the pharmacy, though you can also order them online.
  7. bemused1

    bemused1 Registered User

    Mar 4, 2012
    We are not allowed either pullups or all in ones although husband is doubly incontinent. We are allowed 3max absorption pads a day but have you ever tried getting them on someone who can't move themself? They tend to go under him when he is in bed and pull ups for the 4 or 5 hours he is in his chair. No matter what we do or use we are awash a lot of the time!
  8. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    That's OUTRAGEOUS. :mad: Have you disputed it?

    I complain a LOT about our local NHS but maybe they're not so bad. I do have to push for everything though. I phoned the main GP surgery (our local one was shut) and said I'd heard we could get inco products on the NHS (which I found out from here - thank you TP!), the receptionist said she didn't know but would ask the practice manager, who came back with a flat 'NO'. Good job I didn't give up huh?!

    It seems you don't get ANYTHING first time you ask so I just don't take no for an answer anymore. It's bloomin' EXHAUSTING... but honestly Bemused I'd kick off about that!
  9. bemused1

    bemused1 Registered User

    Mar 4, 2012
    I have disputed it but that's the policy here and that is it.
  10. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    I started buying pads but have found the so called pull ups better .make MIL use this as she had a bad accident in her pants and put It in her waste paper basket and all over floor so bought these . I was told when talking to GP surgery ( they have bee good if needed home appointment got ne same day) that they provide but not very good ones so we use attendance allowance money to buy Tena lady ones a d MIL has ot complained or been sore. We also use barrier cream to prevent presurer sores no sighn which is good in 2.5 years living with me. Bough from amazan 4 pk for £48 deliverary next day. we use 2 a day so a pk a week.i happy with this .
  11. Cinder

    Cinder Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    We use the Always pull-ups as they seem slightly softer than the Tena.
    I'd advise a bin with lid, liners and a charcoal filter.
    If you're in a wheelie bin area you may be entitled to a larger bin too. Check with local council.
    Invest in Aldi washing powder as you will need loads & it will be very expensive otherwise.
    Get your washing machine cleaned regularly with a cleaning sachet.
    But a tumble drier if you don't own one already.

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  12. Kittjac

    Kittjac Registered User

    Mar 7, 2014
    Our continence service also do not provide pull ups. We have samples upon samples of pads, nappy style.....and as Bemused1 said they are difficult to get on and it isn't dignified for Dad. He's more comfortable in the pull ups during the day, but it is a job in getting him to keep them on at nights. Having to get him up 2-3 times a night to go the toilet, that if I have manage to get him on time.....totally exhausted!

    Sent from my GT-P5210 using Talking Point mobile app
  13. Paulette395

    Paulette395 Registered User

    Jan 18, 2014
    Is it too late to do pelvic floor exercises?

    I have been told to do pelvic floor exercises to improve incontinence from sneezing and coughing. Obviously this is not very severe, but it might be a help-don't know. One thing a nurse told me was once the pads are used there is no way back. It only takes 2 wees into the pad and that is it-you need to wear them forever. If it is the only way- go for it, but maybe pads for small leaks could be worn to catch some and the person could try to improve their retention with the exercises?
    Of course if the person wakes up soaking then there is no option. You can't control your bladder in your sleep but perhaps during the day?? Not sure.
  14. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    I think the incontinence from dementia is not the same as stress incontinence.
    Stress incontinence is due to weak muscles which respond to exercises.
    With dementia the problem is due to the part of the brain which controls it. Mum is not even aware that she has "been" now.
  15. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    Paulette, my OH had a stay in hospital and came out incontinent, but within a month I got him back to normal. This lasted the better part of a year before a series of TIAs which led to him ending up in a care home.

    I found that the nappy type pads were shredded overnight by him, but he would tolerate pull ups.
  16. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    Yep, totally not the same thing. People with dementia cannot be "trained" not to be incontinent. They are not lazy or don't try hard enough. Certain abilities like urine control or swallowing just go.
  17. tre

    tre Registered User

    Sep 23, 2008
    Similar experience to other poster in that my husband came out of hospital incontinent of urine but I was able to retrieve this situation within a fortnight. That was several years ago. He remained continent until a few months back when a couple of accidents occured. Luckily he seemed unaware what had happened so it did not upset him. He is now continent again because I realised the problem was he was no longer aware he needed to go OR unable to alert me to this but by ensuring I take him to the toilet regularly we have gone back to continence. Sometimes he does not seem aware of why I have taken him but I have found leaving the tap running for a little while seems to have the required effect.
    PS my mum had vascular dementia but the response from the continence nurse here in Herts was woeful. It took several months.
  18. Kezzamac

    Kezzamac Registered User

    Apr 28, 2015
    Thank you everyone for you comments and suggestions.
    I've been and bought some Tena Pull ups to see how she gets on. And some pads for the bed. I think it's a case of her forgetting where the loo is at the minute as well as poor bladder control, which means she doesn't get there on time. She still feels the need to go and knows she has to go to the loo to do it, but is just forgetting where it is!
    I will also be in touch with the doctor to see if we can see the incontinence nurse.
    Hopefully we will just need them at night to start with - fingers crossed.
  19. Winnie10

    Winnie10 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2013
    I have reposted my incontinence experience for you, with an update

    When my mum started to be incontinent I used Tena lady maxi pads, which were fine. However, on one shopping trip to the supermarket there were none left on the shelf so I bought Tena Lady Maxi night. I use these day and night now they are more absorbent (even more than Tena Lady pants).

    I have never registered for incontinence services as I was advised by a nurse once that the hospital NHS products are not absorbent enough. I like the maxi night pads as it is shaped at the back and has coped with “poo” accidents too.
    When mum goes to day care once a week I put her in Tena Lady pants as I feel she can pull these up easier herself. I send her with spares in a shoulder bag which are quite often not needed as they take them to the loo every few hours.
    The supermarket sells maxi night for £2.50 per packet of 6 pads. They are bulky to buy especially when you are doing your weekly shop, and if you shop on line I have found that quite often they are out of stock and try to sub you with Tena lady maxi which are less absorbent.
    I also use Tena bed pads as it saves washing. I don’t often have to change this as the maxi night pads do the job most of the time. I buy bags for disposal (Morrison's have their own make especially for incontinent pads) when out and about and always have baby wipes in my handbag and antibacterial gel as well as spare pads of course. A satchel style handbag has pockets that accommodate my "equipment".

    I now buy pads direct from Tena Lady or Telephone 0800393431. You register for VAT exemption.

    You buy them by the box as the supermarket would. They cost £10.48 per box VAT FREE, with free post (actual the post is not free) – because if you bought them from the supermarket the same would cost you £7.50, (so the £2.98 post is added to their price)
    They usually have an offer on buy 4 boxes and get a box free. They have other products for washing including wipes and disposal bed pads. Tena also do products for men. The order is usually delivered within 2- 3 days and is discreetly packaged and delivered by UPS.

    To update I now have products from the incontinence service, pads for during the day and different ones for night. I have only just had my first delivery, which is to last for 3 months. I still put mum in pull up pants for day care as it is much easier to manage. I have found Boots pants cheaper and softer on the skin. I am also getting a barrier cream on prescription.

    It’s not nice dealing with incontinence and you want to scream sometimes when it happens at the most inappropriate time. But on the outside to Mum I am always calm and say “never mind I’ll soon have you changed”. I just remember all the times she changed me as a child and never complained once.
  20. hisstessa2

    hisstessa2 Registered User

    Feb 19, 2015
    I started my mother on Depends. Not sure if you have them in your area. Disposable underwear. Worked like a charm! Day and night

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