SPECAL method for contented dementia

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Rosebay, Apr 30, 2015.

  1. Rosebay

    Rosebay Registered User

    Jul 27, 2014
    165
    Oxfordshire
    I am normally a reader not a poster as I am a very private person but as my OH deteriorates I realise I have no one to talk to about whats happening to us. A colleague gave me a book to read on the SPECAL (Specialised Early Care for Alzheimer's) method for contented dementia. Has anyone heard of this approach or even tried it?

    Also just some tips I have found useful to me on my journey into the unknown.

    I have just sold my husbands car and the continuous loop of him keep looking at the car and saying that's his car and he cant understand why he is not allowed to drive has now gone away. I don't know why I kept it so long as I hated driving it.

    and ....

    I put everything I could in my name or joint names as I now have to deal with everything on my own. I now wish I had Power of Attorney sorted out as soon as he was diagnosed but I guess I was in denial and just wanted him to get better. I now know he wont and its getting harder.
     
  2. Ladybird23

    Ladybird23 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2014
    127
    My heart goes out to you Rosebay as you travel through your journey. It is one of the hardest ones I have ever been on, and I am glad it is all over for my family.
    we sold my fathers car, and he used to look out the window and wonder why it was gone.

    We sold his house and my heart bled, as it was such a happy place for my parents.
    The CH was a very good one, and we were so glad he was safe. His last days were miserable, but now he is safe once more with my Mum.

    Keep posting on here as it is a great place to rant, ask and to gain some knowledge of what the future holds.

    I just hope there is some good news soon of some cure however small.
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    Hi Rosebay, welcome to TP
    I had a read through the SPECAL website and to be honest they seem to be charging money for teaching what I'd call "common sense". I suppose it is possible to live a life and never have come into contact with dementia in which case there is a lot to learn, but I'm always suspicious of people who charge for things.
    I love there 3 golden rules that really is stating the obvious. The principal of keeping calm, making their life as undemanding as possible but keeping some interest there and never let an argument develop are all sound principals.
    I'm sorry to see you say that it's getting harder, now that you've broken the ice and made your first post I hope we'll hear more from you.
    K
     
  4. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    During my horrid 12 year "journey", I eventually found that agreeing with everything John said, resulted in me being able to hang on, by my fingertips, rather than fall down completely into the abyss. If he insisted there were crowds of people in his bedroom, instead of arguing with him, I would put my head round the door and yell "now all of you clear out now, this is John's room"!!!

    And if you read my posts last year, you will know that we had a visit from Margaret Thatcher. It would have been pointless explaining to John that (a) she wouldn't visit us and (b) she was dead, ;) so it was easier to talk to the wall, and thank "her" for her kind visit, but explain we couldn't entertain at that time.

    I too put everything I could into my name, and accepted every scrap of help on offer, both in the Real World, and on here. The support you will receive on Talking Point will be wonderful, and I am so grateful to those who propped me up when times were bad.

    Looking back on the past 4 months, I have a huge void in my life, and my heart, and would give anything to hear John's voice, and feel him giving me a cuddle, but I tell myself he is at peace now - and there's no Alzheimer's in heaven.

    Stay strong, and if you ever want to PM me, feel free to do so. I wish you well. xxx
     

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