Grateful for help on this
New to the site, and feeling guilty about even thinking about money matters but reading previous posts on this thread have been really helpful - I planned to ring the helpline tomorrow for advice, but anything anyone can offer here too will obviously help.
Mum gave me POA over her bank accounts (all held with the same bank) some years ago when she faced a major op and realised she might not pull through. Not huge finanical investments to worry about - I think I have used it twice in about 4 years to withdraw cash from her branch when she has been physically incapable of making a withdrawal herself or I have not been with her at a cash machine to help her use her card!
This I am starting to realise is very different from the POAs we are all facing here.
I have been able to manage her everyday finances by setting up direct debits and speaking to utilities/insurance etc by ringing from her home on her behalf and them asking me to speak briefly to her to confirm it is OK to act on my instructions by asking her security details - like her own mother's maiden name - which inevitably she has to turn to me and ask what it was(!) (another issue for another time!)
My concern is mum is not aware of the suggested diagnosis. I feel if I start to suggest something like a POA she will panic. On 'lucid' days, she gets tearful because she can't cope 'with what is happening with my mind'.
I just got the appointment through for the psycho-geriatrician and I begged the doc's secretary to send the confirmationletter c/o me, not to mum. Mum was referred for counselling some years ago and refused all help when she saw 'Mental Health Trust' on the letter head, declaring she was not 'mental'.
(I see the word as being very differently used than it was a generation and more ago, but how can I expect her to?)
I love her to bits. I want to protect her. I fear if I broach the subject of money and 'estate' I look like I am trying to protect my own interests, and what little inheritance I might have (in financial terms). (I like to view 'inheritance' in emotional terms), but there are these damned practicalities to consider and what if I'm not there and some door-to-door salesman gets her signature on something (as one has managed to do already although for a fairly meagre amount) and she is short of funds we need to help pay for her on-going care....?
Sorry to ramble, any help and advice - very, very much appreciated - not just on the POA - how to explain what a psycho-geriatrician is and why a specialist doctor is coming to see her in her own house when it's not her GP in an emergency!!!!!
Thanks everyone. Have felt so much stronger today, already!
New to the site, and feeling guilty about even thinking about money matters but reading previous posts on this thread have been really helpful - I planned to ring the helpline tomorrow for advice, but anything anyone can offer here too will obviously help.
Mum gave me POA over her bank accounts (all held with the same bank) some years ago when she faced a major op and realised she might not pull through. Not huge finanical investments to worry about - I think I have used it twice in about 4 years to withdraw cash from her branch when she has been physically incapable of making a withdrawal herself or I have not been with her at a cash machine to help her use her card!
This I am starting to realise is very different from the POAs we are all facing here.
I have been able to manage her everyday finances by setting up direct debits and speaking to utilities/insurance etc by ringing from her home on her behalf and them asking me to speak briefly to her to confirm it is OK to act on my instructions by asking her security details - like her own mother's maiden name - which inevitably she has to turn to me and ask what it was(!) (another issue for another time!)
My concern is mum is not aware of the suggested diagnosis. I feel if I start to suggest something like a POA she will panic. On 'lucid' days, she gets tearful because she can't cope 'with what is happening with my mind'.
I just got the appointment through for the psycho-geriatrician and I begged the doc's secretary to send the confirmationletter c/o me, not to mum. Mum was referred for counselling some years ago and refused all help when she saw 'Mental Health Trust' on the letter head, declaring she was not 'mental'.
(I see the word as being very differently used than it was a generation and more ago, but how can I expect her to?)
I love her to bits. I want to protect her. I fear if I broach the subject of money and 'estate' I look like I am trying to protect my own interests, and what little inheritance I might have (in financial terms). (I like to view 'inheritance' in emotional terms), but there are these damned practicalities to consider and what if I'm not there and some door-to-door salesman gets her signature on something (as one has managed to do already although for a fairly meagre amount) and she is short of funds we need to help pay for her on-going care....?
Sorry to ramble, any help and advice - very, very much appreciated - not just on the POA - how to explain what a psycho-geriatrician is and why a specialist doctor is coming to see her in her own house when it's not her GP in an emergency!!!!!
Thanks everyone. Have felt so much stronger today, already!