Sorry Just needed to rant a little - One of those weeks

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Josh, Aug 17, 2007.

  1. Josh

    Josh Registered User

    Jun 24, 2007
    What a week !

    After nearly a month of stalling we finally moved in to our new house (the person above us in the chain wasn’t ready to move) even though I was only moving two streets away from my mums house as you would expect anything that could go wrong did go wrong !

    To make matters worse we had a surprise visit from family members, which confused Gran completely to the point where she didn’t recognise any one, and Me moving out seamed to have completely thrown her off balance. She is constantly saying how unhappy she is here (with my mum) and how she will get her own place as soon as we let her outside.

    She couldn’t cope in her own place, she couldn’t even cope in her wardenated (spelling) bungalow, whilst family was down of course our names were mud, Mum ran around day and night serving every one making sure they were ok, whilst Gran Barked orders and was damn right rude too us.

    With 7 extra people staying (4 under ten years old) its been manic, they completely out stayed their welcome, Ben and I haven’t spent a single night alone in our new home or had a meaningful convocation.

    We have boxes every where, no clean clothes, waited in two days for the cable company to come and install the internet and telephone and on the third day they finally appeared. Gran gave the “butterflys” a cup of tea, of course they are not really butterflys their tropical fish, which meant a wasted 4 hours completely cleaning the tank and everything in it, luckily all the fish survived.

    After hours of moaning and complaining and nastiness from Gran about how she would be better off in her own home or a nursing home, I told her to just do it and go no one is stopping her to forcing her to stay here, then I stormed off home poured myself a huge glass of JD, and had a sleep. I felt so guilty and I know I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that and should have just bit my tongue. Thankfully today she seams to have forgotten all about our argument.

    Oh and to top the week off, When mum rang to get some more incontinence pads for Gran, she was told she couldn’t have any until some one had been out to “weigh” yes Weigh every pad used over a two day period, this is to access her need for them so we are to save all used ones until someone comes out next week. I am so pleased it was mum that rang them and not me because after the week I have had would have told them where they could stick their used incontinence pads !!!

    Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it off my chest,

    - x -
  2. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    Oh Josh! what a week for you... what's the saying? The three most stressful things in life are supposed to be getting married, getting divorced and moving house! Well you hit the moving house one, but I reckon they ought to include having the dementia demon in the family too! There's NOTHING more stressful than that.:(
    And as for WEIGHING used incontinence pads, what's that going to prove?

    I don't think so! They will have dried out, therefore less weight!!! Of course, your Mum could always put the garden hose on them before this bod arrives to do the weighing, 'that 'ud larn 'em' as they say.:D

    take care of yourself and enjoy a few more JD's;)
  3. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Hi Josh,
    Sorry things have been working against you, and Gran giving you all, the rounds of the kitchen. This is to be expected, breaks to routines don't go down well with sufferers then of cause the flow on effect. Weighing the used pads!:eek: what next. Hope that things are soon smooth sailing. Best Wishes for your new home. Taffy.
  4. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #5 Margarita, Aug 17, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2007

    yes that does happen when your living with someone who as dementia .

    your grandmother cleaver when she said
    respite care home would of been better , while the move went on , that what I did with mum while we moved .

    sorry :eek: don't mean to side with your grandmother , just that living with my mother I know how mum mind just can't take change , confuses her so much .

    they need suability take that away from them and you have the nightmare that you all having with her .

    Give it time few mouths even more and your grandmother will settle down feel secure and just rant away on hear , while grandmother does your head in because I know how moving is so stressful , living with someone who has dementia put an extra strain on it .

    I done this move for my mother and she come up with '' the other house is better '' :eek: 8 mouths on
  6. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Josh,
    Hope the rant helped- couldnt help but smile though - especially at giving the 'butterflies' a cuppa. Your sense of humour comes through even in your rants.

    Pads I would be tempted to ask them to leave a variety, so that you can test them out!! If they leak - then you know you need one with a larger capacity. Or I would confound them by pouring a pint of water into each one - no that is not a helpful suggestion - I take it back!

    Hope you soon get the time with your partner that you need - enjoy your new home.

    Love Helen
  7. Gill W

    Gill W Registered User

    Jan 31, 2007
    Co. Durham
    Oh Josh,

    You poor thing! What a c**p week you've had, rather like mine last week only mine didn't have a million and one people snapping round my ankles.

    Sorry, but I did chuckle at the fish getting a drink, it reminds me of my youngest son giving his goldfish a cheese sandwich when he was younger! Yu have to see the funny side, but maybe after you've screamed into a cushion to de-stress!

    I truly hope you and Ben have managed to get some time together and chilled out. I'll be around tomorrow on msn if you get chance to park your stressed rump and natter to someone unconnected for a while. Got your msg the other day, hope you got mine in return.

    We're traversing a new road with Gran now, had a harrowing couple of days. Going for a pint now, join me anyone?

  8. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005

    Oh Josh and Gill, I was reminded by your posts of my son (now in his thirties) as a toddler.

    We were visiting Mum and Dad in the country. I've mentioned before on TP that we had no electricity in thge house and depended on lamps.

    One day my angelic toddler beamed at his grandmother (the same Mum I now talk about on TP) and said:
    "Lamp's gone to bed, Granny!"

    And Lamp had!! A kerosene lantern, lying on its side, carefully tucked in with a blanket!!

    I've dealt with urine soaked mattresses but this was the first (and only I hope! :eek: ) time I ever had to deal with a kerosene soaked mattress!
  9. Josh

    Josh Registered User

    Jun 24, 2007
    Thanks for the reply’s guys, some times it helps to just rant a little, kind of like when you stub your toe under the door, a quick out burst of a few four letter words and the pain seams to ease off a little.

    Margarita, we did think about respite and even spoke with the GP about it, but because it was only me moving and I wasn’t really moving much other than clothes, dvds and stuff it was decided not too. Plus not sure if we could cope with the crying before and after… speaking of which we have that to look forward to tomorrow when Gran goes to the Day Centre, Its just once a week but she sobs before she goes and when she returns. Although Two weeks ago I visited the day centre after having a talk with the social worker Gran didn’t see me but I saw her, and there was no tears there. In fact she seamed to be having a good time, nattering away and having a good sing-song.

    Not been round to mum’s for the last two days as it seams to upset Gran when I go so I’m going to steer clear for a few days whilst she gets used to the change. Which meant last night when we had a small house warming no wine glasses because they are still in a box in my old room. Still it meant a pint glass of red, which was nice :D

    Mum rang me this morning Sadly three 'butterflies' died think it may have been the shock of having their home cleaned.

    As for the weighing of the incontinence pads will let you all know how we get on with that, I still cant see the logic behind it. Hopefully its just to access whether she needs bigger or more absorbent ones

    @Gill & Nell, those story’s made me chuckle thank you,

    Gill make sure mines a cold one, be there in 15 minutes.

    Take Care every one,

    - x -
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #10 Margarita, Aug 19, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2007

    Just like my mother when she started day-center , but the thing was with my mother I never saw the tears . took mouths before mum stop making me feel guilty about it .

    now that was a good idea and good of you

    When one of my daughter moved out , the granddaughter who she always use to moan about loved to argue with , is the granddaughter who she misses more , asking about her all the time hate it when she go . its when monique coming , why don't she sleep the night , when she staying :D : on on she go .

    I do they just want to save money all money saving , they did that to my friend mother, wanting to know how many she use a day , she told them she don't know don't care just give them to her , they did .

    sounds good to me :D


    They must smell so bad , where your mother keeping them . tell them they crazy to ask your mother to do that , Its shocking to read , that they can do that .

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