Hello cris,
I remember your posts from a few months ago, how positive you were sounding and I'm so sorry that you are finding it very difficult at the moment. You are bound to feel like this at times, but I suppose that is stating the obvious. I know that my Mum felt this way about Dad at times. She thought that Dad just did not love her any more, and it is tough to get past that, but she did, and she went on to give him all the care and love that he was then unable to give back. He needed that care, and when she was really low Mum kept going just for him - and also for others who love her.
I do hope you have others who care for you - a friendly neighbour who takes the time to ask how you are, or perhaps a friend who invites you to go some place with them, knowing full well you won't be up to socialising very much. These little things make a big difference.
Hard though it is, perhaps it is time to ask for some help. There may be a carer's group in your area. My Mum has met some lovely people at such a group (even though she was very reluctant to go first of all) they really know what you are going through. Your GP would be a good place to ask about such a group.
Love from Hazel.