sorry--i'm depressed

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by cris, Mar 1, 2007.

  1. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    I see that the last time I visited here was october last year. I didn't know that there would be a day when you realise that your partner (my wife) just would not "care". The day went fine, most of the evening went fine, up to a point. I now just want to hold my wife, and take a tablet each and not wake in the morning.
    I won't because i dont have any.
    cris
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    Dear cris,
    I am so sorry you are so depressed, but I understand WHY.

    This is one of the most depressing illnesses ever. To see someone you have shared your life with become more detatched and distant, is enough to break anyone`s heart.

    I honestly don`t know what to say to you. I know I can`t make it better. I just hope this dreadful feeling will pass and you will feel more able to cope.

    With love
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Yes the feeling does pass xx If it keeps coming back that feeling, best to see the doctor to get some Ant dispersion tablets.
     
  4. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Hello cris,

    I remember your posts from a few months ago, how positive you were sounding and I'm so sorry that you are finding it very difficult at the moment. You are bound to feel like this at times, but I suppose that is stating the obvious. I know that my Mum felt this way about Dad at times. She thought that Dad just did not love her any more, and it is tough to get past that, but she did, and she went on to give him all the care and love that he was then unable to give back. He needed that care, and when she was really low Mum kept going just for him - and also for others who love her.

    I do hope you have others who care for you - a friendly neighbour who takes the time to ask how you are, or perhaps a friend who invites you to go some place with them, knowing full well you won't be up to socialising very much. These little things make a big difference.

    Hard though it is, perhaps it is time to ask for some help. There may be a carer's group in your area. My Mum has met some lovely people at such a group (even though she was very reluctant to go first of all) they really know what you are going through. Your GP would be a good place to ask about such a group.

    Love from Hazel.
     
  5. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    thanks for support

    Thanks for yoursupport. I know that there are many out there in a far worse situation than i am. But last night I was just wandering around downstairs crying and needed to get it of my chest. It will all end one day. That's my light at the end of the tunnel.
    cris
     
  6. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Even so, your situation is very difficult, so don't underestimate the strain you are under. Glad you got it off your chest a little. Thinking of you cris, take care. x
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Cris

    Sorry you're feeling so low. As the others have said, it goes with the territory.

    I too find the hardest thing to bear is the feeling that you are caring for someone you love, but getting no love back in return. It's such a lonely feeling.

    But there may still be flashes, and they make the day, give us a memory to cherish. Today may be one of those days. I hope so.

    Just remember that you're not alone, and let us know when you need support. We all do.

    Love,
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    Dear cris,
    There may be many out there in a far worse situation than you, but your headache is your headache, and should never be underestimated.
    Caring for someone you love and have shared your life with, is a sad decline of a relationship. It`s also a very lonely road.
    The only comfort I get is from the many posts on TP which keep reminding me I`m not the only one.
    It doesn`t make life great but it does help.
    With love
     
  9. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Dear Cris

    I do hope you are feeling more positive today. I know my problems are small compared to yours, but on Tuesday evening after leaving my husband in hospital it was so lonely at home and the support people on this site gave me at that time was so lovely and I am very very grateful.

    I know that others on here can relate to your situation and help you.

    One day at a time is the best advice I can give you.

    Love Linda x
     
  10. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    thank you all for the thoughtful words

    What upset me was that there was another "step" down the ladder when last night Susan did not seem bothered if I was there or not. I miss the cuddles. I cuddle her and her arms remain at her side.
    Today was a better day. Sun was shining, we had a quick trip to the library, picked a few DVD's for Susan, actually Susan selected them. She struggles to read but can follow some films surprisingly well. (DVD's are free on a "special" ticket).
    We returned home, I made (my homemade) carrot soup which went down well and then Susan joined me in the garden trying to help collect my trimmings from prunning apple trees, and then sat with me in the garden having tea and date slice (my homemade) which was a first 'cos she normally says that she does not like dates.
    We then enjoyed the sunshine, so lets see what tonight brings.
    Thank you all again for listening, and I really promise to visit (the site) more often.
    cris
     
  11. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Your post reminded me of the day my very tearful Dad said that Mum was pulling away from him and he felt he couldn't reach her any more.

    It must be heartbreaking.

    The first time Mum looked at me with no idea who I was it felt horrible, as though she was rejecting me completely.

    When it is a partner, it must be so much harder.

    I am so pleased you have had a good day today.

    Kathleen
     
  12. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Ah yes, that is one of the most important things that I miss, too. Some might say it is such a small thing, but I think we all know it is not. :(
     

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