Dear Rubi you do sound better in yourself and I think even despite these hard decisions you are halfway home now. My father made me sole executor, leaving out my brother and sister, who made things very difficult via emotional blackmail. Exactly as you say: I was the one blamed! I was so grateful he left me in charge as I was able to insist on equal distribution and so on. Nevertheless not only have I never been thanked (ha!) but our sibling relationships have been, it seems, permanently affected (five years later). I just kept reminding myself that his trust had been placed in me, and I pass this thought on to you now. All the very best, Carolyn.
Sorry another quick query...
- Thread starter Member65566
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Hi Rubi,
You have said that gran's other son lives abroad. Is this your father? Are you getting any support from other members of the family? Is there anyone who would speak to your uncle as a third party, to explain how things have to work?
I'm sorry to bombard you with questions! In fact, you don't need to answer if you don't want to, it is really just to get you thinking of any way to get support in your difficult situation.
You could try speaking to someone at the Office of the Public Guardian (or equivalent if your system is different), I have heard that they are usually helpful in indicating what kind of expenditure is allowable. This might give you some legal backing for your decisions.
I hope today is less stressful for you! (((hugs)))
You have said that gran's other son lives abroad. Is this your father? Are you getting any support from other members of the family? Is there anyone who would speak to your uncle as a third party, to explain how things have to work?
I'm sorry to bombard you with questions! In fact, you don't need to answer if you don't want to, it is really just to get you thinking of any way to get support in your difficult situation.
You could try speaking to someone at the Office of the Public Guardian (or equivalent if your system is different), I have heard that they are usually helpful in indicating what kind of expenditure is allowable. This might give you some legal backing for your decisions.
I hope today is less stressful for you! (((hugs)))
Hi all, thanks for the sound advice. I contacted my solicitor today and they will be in contact with my uncle to advise him that his requests are unreasonable and not within my grans best interests. Fingers crossed
Thank you! Unfortunately all the family now refuse to speak to uncle so I was the last contact he had. I’ve posted an update as I’m going to let my solicitor deal with him, it’s causing too much distress and I need this sorted officially so it doesn’t happen in future! Thank you for your advice!
Wow
Wow! Well done! Brilliant approach and having solicitors do this makes it “neutral” somehow ... I’m not sure how to put it but what I’m trying to say is that it shifts blame off your poor shoulders!
Next Sunday he’ll bring her back - we’ll thats the plan at the moment. Until she’s actually here I’ll not believe he’ll bring her back so all not over yet! Just hope if the monies are denied in the future then he will visit her here instead of taking her away. Other family members visit her without expecting her to foot their bill so hopefully he can do the same in future
Thanks again, I know exactly what you mean! I’m sure my name is mud with him but given the way he has got on I really don’t care. At least I can sleep soundly at night knowing I’m doing the best for her as opposed to trying to rip her off x
I am glad you have handed this over to a solicitor, they will be able to manage this without the emotional upset that it causes you.
