1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Sometimes they do amazing things!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by ChrisH, Jun 23, 2008.

  1. ChrisH

    ChrisH Registered User

    Apr 16, 2008
    281
    Devon, England
    Mum's not too far down the AZ/VD route yet but I have noticed her writing isn't what it used to be. I've found her favourite note pads (i.e bits of cereal packet cut up into small pieces) with barely legible phone numbers written on them scattered in various odd places (and let's not bother writing the name of the person the number belongs to because that would make life too easy wouldn't it:cool:). I've found her 'birthday book' with names in writing that just doesn't look like hers, but is, etc etc. So when she phoned me the other day to say a letter had been sent to her address but with my name on it and she wanted to send it on to me I have to admit I panicked a bit.

    She told me she was putting it into another envelope. (At least it wasn't going to end up in the post box only to be re-delivered to her:D). She tried to describe the size of the envelope: "It's a bit longer than square and it just about fits in and it's a brown envelope and the other one is white." For some stupid reason I asked her if it was an A4 or A5 envelope, thinking she might have to put a 'large envelope' stamp on and wondering how I could explain that when of course she hadn't got a clue what A4 or A5 was anyway:D

    Next came the problem of putting my address on the envelope. "I can't find my address book" (so what's new) you'll have to tell me - I've got a pen and a bit of paper". Well, it was going to be a toss up between writing it straight on the envelope and getting the words in the right place (sometimes where the stamp is supposed to go), or on the bit of paper which might then get mislaid. She insisted on the paper. The long process began with me spelling out the words and thinking she hadn't got it when in fact she'd actually already written it down and was waiting for me to say the next bit. In the end she read it back to me and it sounded ok. She said she'd put it in the post straight away ("Don't forget the stamp mum" - "Well of course I won't!").

    2 days later a brown envelope arrived on my mat. I stared at it in disbelief. Not only was it correctly addressed with the words in the right place, but she'd even put her own name and address on the back and selotaped it up (she loves selotape). And on top of that the writing looked exactly like her writing used to.

    I phoned to let her know I'd received it. "Oh, er, yes I did send something to you, I think."

    Thanks mum for letting me know the real you is still there somewhere, sometimes.:D

    Mind you, I'm a bit annoyed with the bank as it was the cheque book for her account with my name on as 3rd party agent and as they have my address I can't imagine why they sent it in my name to her address. Something else to sort out.:mad:

    Oh well, the land of nod is calling. Must go and get my beauty sleep (so that's me out for the count for a thousand years then:D:D). May you and your loved ones have a peaceful night.

    Chris
     
  2. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Peaceful night, thank you Chris:)
    barb
     
  3. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Dear Chris - how that made me smile... sooooo familiar .... .... I remember querying ages ago why my mother could write so legibly at times and others barely able to spell her own name or even seem to know the right end of a pen? ... As for the cereal packets ..... with mum in hospital - I am finding tissues everywhere as she is determined to tear up the boxes to make herself note-pads! :rolleyes:

    It's lovely to be able to smile at some of the 'quirkiness' - and yes, to treasure every moment they 'amaze' :)

    Love Karen, x
     
  4. julieann15

    julieann15 Registered User

    Jun 13, 2008
    2,012
    Leicestershire
    Dear Chris
    Thank you for making me smile- the impromptu note pads- the decision as to what to write on - paper or envelope? The missing address book ( mums has been missing for weeks- don't know where it is as she does not write to anyone anymore) and the number of envelopes they appear to have- Mum has enough stationary/ sellotape to keep me going until I retire!! She used to have hundreds of pens but now we are down to one- perhaps they are with the wooden elephant ornament that has gone "walkabout"? Mum has gone to a Day Centre for the first time today- hope that she gets on okay.

    Julie xx
    Ps when energy efficient bulbs become the only ones we can buy I will have enough 100 watt light bulbs to last me and my 8 month old daughter a lifetime. Destroyed 3 shopping lists yesterday that had light bulbs as the main thing she needed!!
     
  5. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    Dear Julie,

    I'm so glad that you can, in a funny way, enjoy your mum's little 'qwerks'. She sounds adorable but, as always, hard work as well!

    I look back to a few years ago when husband Ken was left to 'plate up' a full chicken dinner one Monday evening. I had made double the amount the previous day for Sunday lunch, just so that it could all be used for our evening meal the next day.

    Imagine my surprise/horror when I arrived home from work Monday evening to find that he had finely chopped ALL the food up - roast potatoes, carrots, brussel sprouts, gravy, chicken and stuffing, laid the mixture lovingly into large halved red peppers and roasted it!!

    Wish he could still make these mistakes now. Ah well, funny but happy memories.

    xxTinaT
     
  6. ChrisH

    ChrisH Registered User

    Apr 16, 2008
    281
    Devon, England
    TinaT - perhaps Jamie Oliver would appreciate Ken's recipe:D:D

    Julie - maybe my mum could swap a few packets of elastoplasts for a few light bulbs with your mum. As for the missing address book, has your mum got a sofabed by any chance? ;) I found mum's birthday book under a pillow in the storage bit under hers. Can't help with the elephant though. How was the day centre?

    Karen - what is it about cardboard that's so much more appealing as a notepad than paper?:D

    Barb - how was your night?

    Chris
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland

    Think I may have an answer for you Chris!

    During the war (WW2 you cheeky lot!), paper was in short supply, it all had to be saved for the war effort. So every carton was saved and the insides used for notes, and for us kids to draw on.

    Memories again!
     
  8. ChrisH

    ChrisH Registered User

    Apr 16, 2008
    281
    Devon, England
    You could be right there Skye. I wouldn't have thought of that:D
    Chris
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    You have to be ancient to think of that, Chris!:eek:
     
  10. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Gosh Hazel - never thought of that - although often I have wondered that mum's 'hoarding' was a throw back to WW2 - (I remember my grandma hoarding sugar and tea 30/40 years ago - no dementia - just 'throwback' to leaner times? - I guess they had been in short supply - not that I am suggesting you would remember all this Hazel! :eek::) ......perhaps mum's 'hoarding' rekindled through her dementia when some things have been 'obsessive' ....? Know we're all on a mission to save the planet and recycle anything these days - but cellophane wrappers off bread rolls (complete with bread crumbs?????? :eek:)

    :) Karen, x
     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sadly, I do, Karen!:eek::eek::D:eek::eek:
     
  12. julieann15

    julieann15 Registered User

    Jun 13, 2008
    2,012
    Leicestershire
    Hoarding things and day centre

    Why does mum seem to collect so much stuff? Each time I go in I try to "release" some jam jars or magazines. She keeps buying craft magazines- there are at least 4 piles each a foot high in her lounge and most have never been out of the wrappers quite often she buys the same one twice but won't even part with the duplicate! She seems to be kidding herself that she is going to do some of the things that are attached to them but never does- she hangs onto anything and everything- cardboard trays that roasting potatoes come on, cellephane from around flowers,carrier bags, plastic bowls from individual steam puddings- she is constantly buying note books to leave herself messages/ shopping lists and 100 watt light bulbs- I am sure there must be a world shortage of these as mum has dozens.

    Mum went to Day Centre on Monday- she said she had a good time but cannot remember what she did? Luckily lady rang to say mum had played dominoes and enjoyed it ( Mum told be she hated dominoes previously and she wouldn't be doing any of that). she had also had a singsong in the afternoon( Something else mum said she didn't do) Allegedly she was chirping away with everyone else! at least we know she is getting a hot lunch there.

    Apart from losing her in town yesterday life is not too bad!

    Julie xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.