Something unsettling today

[yorkie46]

My husband has FTD, diagnosed October last year. Today we were driving home and he suddenly said 'I wonder how my mum is?' I thought I'd heard wrong but when I asked what he's said he replied 'I wonder how my mums doing these days'. I didn't reply immediately but I just said your mum isn't alive any more. At this point he clearly had some realisation of what he'd said and started to cover up with yes she died a long time ago now. This has never happened before, nothing remotely like it. Yes he's been forgetful and repeats things and asks same questions but not this. I've been trying to think why. He has been and still is in a lot of pain with a possible trapped nerve in his shoulder, had a good massage this morning. He's also been taking quite strong painkillers which don't usually affect him.badly in any way. I guess either of these could be contributory factors, or I could be looking to justify in another way what is just the progression of the dementia. It was very unsettling especially as I'm due to go away for a few days on Thursday.

 

[Bod]

I frequently was asked by by father, had I seen his parents?
To which the reply was ."not recently, must be a few years now".
They had both died decades before.
Kept him happy.
It is a very common conversation, with PWD's.

Bod

 

[Feistywoman]

For the first time my Mum asked me Do you know where your Dad is? thankfully due to reading the posts on here I knew to distract, I just said I don’t know, how’s your soup? And we moved on.

I’m sure we all feel the same, I felt completely winded but our loved ones are none the wiser

 

[Rosalind297]

The first time my mother asked about her own mother (who died in 1982) I was quite shocked and upset. I also said at the time that her mother was no longer with us but now I know to deflect the question. It now happens so frequently that I answer matter-of-factly that there is nothing wrong with or troubling her Mum. Sometimes she asks if her Dad is with her Mum and I just say, yes they are together (which they are, in the same grave). She talks about her sister and younger brother as if they are still alive and usually much younger. It is such a common experience with PWD, that it is something we must get used to. In her moments of lucidity she knows perfectly well that they have died, it is just a hankering after happier times before dementia when she is anxious.

 

[Elle3]

My dad's parents both died in 1970, but he would often ask to go and see them and talk about needing to get home.

We would visit the cemetery where both their ashes were scattered including his wifes ashes (my mum) and he would read their plaques, but have no clue who they were. He also turned up at a neighbours house once thinking she was his mother which was a strange one for the neighbour. She had to ring me and I had to get another neighbour of dad's to take him back home across the road and stay with him until I got there.