Somebody stop me crying and being angry

deita2

Registered User
Nov 12, 2014
24
I don't know why but I can't stop crying. I care for my beloved husband of 47 yrs who FTD.
The changes are now showing so much.
My heart is breaking for him.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Deita, while you need to, let the tears come. It'll help wash away some of that dreadful frustration and anger. I know where you are, my love. Been there many, many times.

You will improve. Never just bottle it all up. That's worse. Come here and let it all go if and when you need to.

Big, big hugs, xxx
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,707
North West
I agree, let it all out. Those changes are heartbreaking. And it becomes harder to remember how things used to be.

But at least we know that on TP are people who understand.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,562
Ireland
You have a perfect right to be heartbroken and a perfect right to be angry. And the others are right - bottling it up won't do you good. A stiff upper lip will only make you look peculiar, it serves no useful purpose. A good cry now and then does us all good - we have plenty to cry about.
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello Deita how l wish we could stop this heartache we go through every day, l feel for you the one we love so much makes us cry and feel angry, l do know that if it was me, my husband would be right by my side, but l would hate him to go through what l am going through! My thoughts are with you
 

Silver Lining

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
224
I don't know why but I can't stop crying. I care for my beloved husband of 47 yrs who FTD.
The changes are now showing so much.
My heart is breaking for him.
I have been married for the same amount of time and my OH has only been retired for 4 years, didn't think we would end up with so much to deal with.
Big Hugs - Silver Lining
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,072
Devon
So sorry you are going through such a hard time Deita. No easy answers but many people who post on here have been and are in a similar place and understand. The underlying situation is horrible but it is possible to find a way to live your life There are times when it seems too much and times when we are able to cope, I hope you feel a little better soon. Love and hugs. Es
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,373
Kent
My husband and I cried together deita. There is no way tears can be avoided in such a heartbreaking situation.
 

Mibs

Registered User
May 26, 2014
73
Derbyshire
My husband is with me in person as he has been for the last 46 years, but I know he has already left me and I am grieving for my loss. Sad, angry, heartbroken, jealous, furious, abandoned, inadequate, frightened - I'm experiencing all of this every day, and there are no answers. Deita - we're with you, we are all crying inside. You are not alone xx
 
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CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
North East England
Everyone else has said most eloquently what I would say to you, Deita and Mibs, and indeed everyone else who is in this totally heartbreaking situation. I'm so sorry and only wish there was something I could do to take away the pain.

xxx
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,051
GLASGOW
Your feelings are valid and we have all felt our own version

So sorry that I cannot hug you and be there for you. I think that dementia is a long slow grief process. Each day we lose a little of the person we love and it is so painful. We are helpless to do anything except walk alongside them.

You are not alone. We are all holding you silently holding you up and sending you strength.
 

deita2

Registered User
Nov 12, 2014
24
Thank you all for your kind words. I feel angry that we have to learn how to cope with this for the first time in our lives. with not much support from anywhere.
But then, we will be the ones who can help others in yrs to come.
I think it such a shame that the services don't do more to educate us in how we can cope with this disease.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Thank you all for your kind words. I feel angry that we have to learn how to cope with this for the first time in our lives. with not much support from anywhere.
But then, we will be the ones who can help others in yrs to come.
I think it such a shame that the services don't do more to educate us in how we can cope with this disease.
You're right there, Deita. Education would have been so good. Someone sensible to talk with would have made all the difference. Instead, my husband and I have been completely abandoned by everybody, with only platitudes offered the whole walk through this: almost six years on and nothing's changed, except for him to get worse, and me, more frustrated!

Not a good place to be. But yes, if I ever found out afterwards that someone else was going through it, I'd be the first to offer support.

Much love and strength to you.