Somebody stop me crying and being angry

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by deita2, Mar 21, 2015.

  1. deita2

    deita2 Registered User

    Nov 12, 2014
    I don't know why but I can't stop crying. I care for my beloved husband of 47 yrs who FTD.
    The changes are now showing so much.
    My heart is breaking for him.
  2. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    Oh Deita, sending you a hug (((( ))))
  3. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    NW England

    I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad.
    A big ((hug )) from me too.

    brambles x
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    Sometimes you just need to cry and be angry.

    Thinking of you. xx
  5. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Deita, while you need to, let the tears come. It'll help wash away some of that dreadful frustration and anger. I know where you are, my love. Been there many, many times.

    You will improve. Never just bottle it all up. That's worse. Come here and let it all go if and when you need to.

    Big, big hugs, xxx
  6. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    North West
    I agree, let it all out. Those changes are heartbreaking. And it becomes harder to remember how things used to be.

    But at least we know that on TP are people who understand.
  7. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    Tears are most necessary and should flow when they need to.

    Sending huge hugs.
  8. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    You have a perfect right to be heartbroken and a perfect right to be angry. And the others are right - bottling it up won't do you good. A stiff upper lip will only make you look peculiar, it serves no useful purpose. A good cry now and then does us all good - we have plenty to cry about.
  9. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    A big hug from me too, deita.

    Sent from my GT-N5110
  10. Rubylou

    Rubylou Registered User

    Jan 20, 2015
    Many tears shed today too by me and anger boiling up inside
    Sending you love and hugs too
  11. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    Hello Deita how l wish we could stop this heartache we go through every day, l feel for you the one we love so much makes us cry and feel angry, l do know that if it was me, my husband would be right by my side, but l would hate him to go through what l am going through! My thoughts are with you
  12. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    I have been married for the same amount of time and my OH has only been retired for 4 years, didn't think we would end up with so much to deal with.
    Big Hugs - Silver Lining
  13. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    So sorry you are going through such a hard time Deita. No easy answers but many people who post on here have been and are in a similar place and understand. The underlying situation is horrible but it is possible to find a way to live your life There are times when it seems too much and times when we are able to cope, I hope you feel a little better soon. Love and hugs. Es
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    My husband and I cried together deita. There is no way tears can be avoided in such a heartbreaking situation.
  15. Mibs

    Mibs Registered User

    May 26, 2014
    #15 Mibs, Mar 21, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
    My husband is with me in person as he has been for the last 46 years, but I know he has already left me and I am grieving for my loss. Sad, angry, heartbroken, jealous, furious, abandoned, inadequate, frightened - I'm experiencing all of this every day, and there are no answers. Deita - we're with you, we are all crying inside. You are not alone xx
  16. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    Everyone else has said most eloquently what I would say to you, Deita and Mibs, and indeed everyone else who is in this totally heartbreaking situation. I'm so sorry and only wish there was something I could do to take away the pain.

  17. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    Your feelings are valid and we have all felt our own version

    So sorry that I cannot hug you and be there for you. I think that dementia is a long slow grief process. Each day we lose a little of the person we love and it is so painful. We are helpless to do anything except walk alongside them.

    You are not alone. We are all holding you silently holding you up and sending you strength.
  18. Deputypink

    Deputypink Registered User

    Aug 4, 2013
    Walking with my Dad and with everyone else on TP . You all keep me walking further - thank you
  19. deita2

    deita2 Registered User

    Nov 12, 2014
    Thank you all for your kind words. I feel angry that we have to learn how to cope with this for the first time in our lives. with not much support from anywhere.
    But then, we will be the ones who can help others in yrs to come.
    I think it such a shame that the services don't do more to educate us in how we can cope with this disease.
  20. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    You're right there, Deita. Education would have been so good. Someone sensible to talk with would have made all the difference. Instead, my husband and I have been completely abandoned by everybody, with only platitudes offered the whole walk through this: almost six years on and nothing's changed, except for him to get worse, and me, more frustrated!

    Not a good place to be. But yes, if I ever found out afterwards that someone else was going through it, I'd be the first to offer support.

    Much love and strength to you.

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