Hi one and all,
I’m sorry that I have been off line for some time but the reason being that we have been having some major rebuilding renovation work done inside our house in readiness for my stepdaughter (Yuni) Engagement party next month and the Wedding next June so I had to completely disconnect and move the computer out the way which in itself is very confusing for me now given all the cables running into the computer.
Then there is all the planning that I have to do for the Wedding which is nothing like a wedding in the UK as out here it’s a traditional 3 day and 2 nights continues event in our home and garden, it’s not just a family affair but one that becomes a village event, we will be sending out over 1000 invitations (1 per family) so now times that by two add in some additional children and you will realize that over the 3 days of the wedding there will be well over 2000 heads / guests that all have to be feed and every guest must also have a souvenir gift of the wedding to take home so the amount of pre-planning is somewhat unbelievable and you can just imagine what it’s doing to my Alzheimer’s mind in terms of added confusion, but to my surprise I have been coping with the renovation work despite all the horrendous noise, mess and the wedding planning OK and was felling very pleased with myself and in an excellent frame of mind, well that was until the other weekend.
It was a Saturday and as the first step of the renovation work was done and the builders out the way my wife Sumi and I decide to have a day out shopping and getting more things sorted out for the wedding.
It had been a great relaxing day out until we got back home at about 4pm and then absolute chaos ensued, we had no sooner finished putting the shopping away and it started to drizzle with rain but we all said thank goodness as it’s been so dry for the past few months the amount of dust floating around in the air has been terrible, then the heavens opened and it poured with torrential monsoon rain, then all of a sudden we heard ‘Yuni’ shout out ‘Ma, Ma’ meaning (Mum) so we rushed to see what the problem was to be confronted with a waterfall of rain water pouring through the new kitchen roof just where it’s been repaired so Sumi calls her bother who quickly gets onto the roof and finds that some of the roof tiles had moved, at this point I was still OK but then I started to look at the ceiling around the house and noticed that rain was also pouring through the roof onto the new ceiling in Yuni’s bedroom and floor so this time Sumi’s brother clambers into the loft and finds that his other brother that had been helping with the renovation had not put some of the roof tiles back in place after having moved them to let in light when working, at this point I was stating to get a bit more confused but said well OK accidents do happen but he should have checked! Then I noticed that water had started to come through the ceiling right above where we have repositioned the computer and it was dripping onto the computer which sent me into a panic and it was at this point that ‘Mr D‘ came into play with vengeance, but at least I had the sense to shout to Yuni telling her to pull the main computer electrical plug out the wall and I covered the computer with plastic sheeting, but by now the rain water was starting to turn into a stream so of course I started to panic even more as I was afraid it would get into the computer system, Sumi’s brother was now trying to repair that part of the roof and managed to stop the rain from pouring in but said it must be repaired again the next day as the guttering had also moved from when the builders had been walking on the roof, so I shouted to Sumi should I move the computer again?? But the miscommunication reply I got was (I understand) by this time I was in complete and utter confusion and literally going in circles holding my head not knowing what to do for the best as I had realized that if it continued to rain again throughout the night then the whole computer system would have been damaged beyond repair, so I said to Yuni we move it again but I was in such a panic of disorientation I did not know where to start disconnecting all the cables, I was trembling like a leaf and my hands would not let me do anything as Mr D was completely in control of any reasoning, my hands and body where twitching from right to left ‘what do I do, where do I start’ all I could do was to clutch my head and was shouting ‘I cant do this, it’s to much for me’ and collapsed on the floor in my own downpour of tears and total frustration shouting at everyone (Please take this illness away, take this illness away) which is something I have never done before! poor Sumi and Yuni stood somewhat helpless not knowing what to do to help me as they have never seen me like that before, but Sumi quickly gave me a stress tablet and then gently massaged my neck and shoulders to ease the tension building up in me, after a while I managed to pull myself together and managed to disconnect all the computer again and move it out the way, but I was in a really bad mental state and can remember thinking ‘Why’ after I had been alright throughout all the renovation work did this have to happen.
Then as I sat on the bed in the evening it made me realize even more about not having any type of support network out here in Indonesia for people with dementia as obviously Sumi and Yuni where in their own state of shock at my condition and needed some words of support for themselves but for them there is nowhere to turn and no telephone help line for help or advice and I was certainly not in any state of mind to try and console them, when anything like this happens they have to try and cope with it in there own way and self fortitude, hence a few days later I wrote the poem “You are my Strength” that you can read in the poem section for my darling wife
Barry
I’m sorry that I have been off line for some time but the reason being that we have been having some major rebuilding renovation work done inside our house in readiness for my stepdaughter (Yuni) Engagement party next month and the Wedding next June so I had to completely disconnect and move the computer out the way which in itself is very confusing for me now given all the cables running into the computer.
Then there is all the planning that I have to do for the Wedding which is nothing like a wedding in the UK as out here it’s a traditional 3 day and 2 nights continues event in our home and garden, it’s not just a family affair but one that becomes a village event, we will be sending out over 1000 invitations (1 per family) so now times that by two add in some additional children and you will realize that over the 3 days of the wedding there will be well over 2000 heads / guests that all have to be feed and every guest must also have a souvenir gift of the wedding to take home so the amount of pre-planning is somewhat unbelievable and you can just imagine what it’s doing to my Alzheimer’s mind in terms of added confusion, but to my surprise I have been coping with the renovation work despite all the horrendous noise, mess and the wedding planning OK and was felling very pleased with myself and in an excellent frame of mind, well that was until the other weekend.
It was a Saturday and as the first step of the renovation work was done and the builders out the way my wife Sumi and I decide to have a day out shopping and getting more things sorted out for the wedding.
It had been a great relaxing day out until we got back home at about 4pm and then absolute chaos ensued, we had no sooner finished putting the shopping away and it started to drizzle with rain but we all said thank goodness as it’s been so dry for the past few months the amount of dust floating around in the air has been terrible, then the heavens opened and it poured with torrential monsoon rain, then all of a sudden we heard ‘Yuni’ shout out ‘Ma, Ma’ meaning (Mum) so we rushed to see what the problem was to be confronted with a waterfall of rain water pouring through the new kitchen roof just where it’s been repaired so Sumi calls her bother who quickly gets onto the roof and finds that some of the roof tiles had moved, at this point I was still OK but then I started to look at the ceiling around the house and noticed that rain was also pouring through the roof onto the new ceiling in Yuni’s bedroom and floor so this time Sumi’s brother clambers into the loft and finds that his other brother that had been helping with the renovation had not put some of the roof tiles back in place after having moved them to let in light when working, at this point I was stating to get a bit more confused but said well OK accidents do happen but he should have checked! Then I noticed that water had started to come through the ceiling right above where we have repositioned the computer and it was dripping onto the computer which sent me into a panic and it was at this point that ‘Mr D‘ came into play with vengeance, but at least I had the sense to shout to Yuni telling her to pull the main computer electrical plug out the wall and I covered the computer with plastic sheeting, but by now the rain water was starting to turn into a stream so of course I started to panic even more as I was afraid it would get into the computer system, Sumi’s brother was now trying to repair that part of the roof and managed to stop the rain from pouring in but said it must be repaired again the next day as the guttering had also moved from when the builders had been walking on the roof, so I shouted to Sumi should I move the computer again?? But the miscommunication reply I got was (I understand) by this time I was in complete and utter confusion and literally going in circles holding my head not knowing what to do for the best as I had realized that if it continued to rain again throughout the night then the whole computer system would have been damaged beyond repair, so I said to Yuni we move it again but I was in such a panic of disorientation I did not know where to start disconnecting all the cables, I was trembling like a leaf and my hands would not let me do anything as Mr D was completely in control of any reasoning, my hands and body where twitching from right to left ‘what do I do, where do I start’ all I could do was to clutch my head and was shouting ‘I cant do this, it’s to much for me’ and collapsed on the floor in my own downpour of tears and total frustration shouting at everyone (Please take this illness away, take this illness away) which is something I have never done before! poor Sumi and Yuni stood somewhat helpless not knowing what to do to help me as they have never seen me like that before, but Sumi quickly gave me a stress tablet and then gently massaged my neck and shoulders to ease the tension building up in me, after a while I managed to pull myself together and managed to disconnect all the computer again and move it out the way, but I was in a really bad mental state and can remember thinking ‘Why’ after I had been alright throughout all the renovation work did this have to happen.
Then as I sat on the bed in the evening it made me realize even more about not having any type of support network out here in Indonesia for people with dementia as obviously Sumi and Yuni where in their own state of shock at my condition and needed some words of support for themselves but for them there is nowhere to turn and no telephone help line for help or advice and I was certainly not in any state of mind to try and console them, when anything like this happens they have to try and cope with it in there own way and self fortitude, hence a few days later I wrote the poem “You are my Strength” that you can read in the poem section for my darling wife
Barry
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