Some questions

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Dear All,
A few more questions::confused:
How can you tell if a person with dementia is deaf or blind or can you?

Hi Sophie, good to hear from you again.:) How are things going with you?

Your first question is a bit difficult. My husband doesn't talk, but I assume he can hear, because he sometimes responds. For example, if I ask if he would like a drink, but don't let him see the glass, he will open his mouth for it.

Also, when someone speaks to him, he will turn towards them.

On the other hand, if someone doesn't respond, it doesn't necessarily mean thay are deaf, it could be just that the illness has progressed so far that the brain cannot process what the ears are hearing.

I don't know about blindness, but I'd think it's the same. If someone responds to movement, then they can see. If they don't respond, then who knows?

Is there anything else I can do to help him (that I can do) in any way?

I've just tried to answer this on your dad's thread.:) Ithink just by going to visit, talking to your grandad, holding his hand, maybe giving him a hand massage are the best possible whings for you to do. It's so important to him to know that he is loved, and you can experss that through touch, as well as in words.

You are a lovely granddaughter, and I'm sure your grandad looks forward to seeing you.

Love,
 

Sophie Rae

Registered User
Nov 11, 2007
48
0
London
Thank you for replying so quickly.

How are things going with you?

I'm fine. I am in year six now so it's a big responsibility. As you probably know it gets harder as my grandads illness progresses and when I see him I can sometimes get very emotional. I visit regularly but for a short time I find this is best as I do not get upset and I still get to see him.

S.R
X
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
0
near London
Hi Sophie

nice to see you here again.

One thing I would say from my experience - sometimes it may appear to take a while for a sound to be understood by someone who has dementia.

There seems to be a bit of a time lag.

I know with my Jan, I may say something - then a couple of minutes later [yes! that long] I sense a response.

The temptation is to say lots of things, one after another, and I don't do that now. I say something, then I wait a while, before saying something else.

I think the same thing may be true for vision - the eyes may see something, but for the 'picture' to be registered and understood may take a while. So I don't move much when I visit. Jan is actually registered 'blind' but her eyes are ok really - it is the connection to her brain that is not so good.

Although we live lives with a clock that is always ticking, a person who has dementia may not have such urgency, so we need to slow down to their pace.

This is all just my thoughts, based on observing my Jan over many years.
 

Winnie Kjaer

Account Closed
Aug 14, 2009
2,011
0
Devon
Dearest Sophie,
I have a grand daughter the same age as you. Oh how I wish she would ask me the questions you have asked here. It would be so lovely to know she tried to understand and cared about her Granddad's illness.
Don't get me wrong she may care but just not like to ask, or perhaps she has asked her parents and they do not want to ask me or perhaps they themselves have found the best answers.
I have decided though to tell her about you to see what she says, the time has to be right though, so it may not be today, nor tomorrow nor the next day. But I will tell her.
Thank you so much for caring.
I am really interested to know, if there anyone in your family who has diagnosed with dementia, is this why you have asked so many questions? You don't have to answer this if you do not want to.
Take care and be safe.
P.S. so sorry I can now see I have made a big mistake, this thread has been running for quite some time, but it never rang a bell with me so sorry, I just read the first page. I will now read the rest of the thread, but it does not alter the post I have made above.

Hello Sophie, I have now read the rest of this thread, and just wanted to add, that you are a very special girl, and your family but particularly your granddaf is so lucky to have you. God bless.
 
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Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
I'm fine. I am in year six now so it's a big responsibility. As you probably know it gets harder as my grandads illness progresses and when I see him I can sometimes get very emotional. I visit regularly but for a short time I find this is best as I do not get upset and I still get to see him.

Sophie, you're perfect! My very favourite age. I used to love teaching 11-13s, they're so enthusiastic and eager to learn. Sadly, that enthusiasm often doesn't last beyond 13, but I'm sure it will in your case.

Your grandad is a lucky man, and I'm sure he loves to see you.

Love,
 

danny

Registered User
Sep 9, 2009
3,342
0
cornwall/real name is Angela
Hi Sophie,your grandad is so lucky to have you.Keep posting when you can,just read through all your posts,it is lovely to see your interest in trying to make things better for your grandad.Kind regards,Angela.
 

Pescita

Registered User
Oct 31, 2009
122
0
Is there anything else I can do to help him (that I can do) in any way?


S.R
X

I think you are doing all the right things already. Talking to him & touching him when you are with him are good things to do. Even if he can't see you, or is not sure who it is who is there, he will still know that there is someone kind & loving there, giving him attention. Also, I think that visiting him regularly for short periods of time is the most beneficial thing for your Grandad & for you too. You are a very caring girl - keep up the good work!

I hope that the things you've learned from TP are a help to you. My Mum has dementia, & right from the start I wanted to find out as much as possible about the condition, to help me understand what was happening to her & give me some idea what to expect. When I was much younger (though not as young as you!), my Nana had dementia, but there was not as much information available then - and the internet hadn't been invented!!:eek: No-one really talked about it properly either. So I think you are lucky that you can visit TP & ask lots of questions, & that your mum & dad are supporting you in doing that.
 

Kendra

Registered User
Jan 26, 2010
43
0
Hi Sophie
Because the messages to the brain don't work the way they used to, it might appear that someone isn't seeing or hearing properly.
It's hard for us to know because it's hard for someone with Alzheimers to explain it to us.

People with other illnesses (like concussion from a bump on the head, or a fever that involves the brain) have been able to describe how things felt to them.

It can feel like watching a movie, or dreaming, so you don't have to talk or answer.

Things can sound different, like listening to another language that doesn't make sense.

Lots of people say they remember kind voices and a caring touch and that is very important to them.

You are doing all the right things!
xx
 

Sophie Rae

Registered User
Nov 11, 2007
48
0
London
Dear All,

I am going to visit my grandad today and again it will not be for too long.:) I like to put pictures up of him and grandma (when she was alive) and his family. Maybe he looks at them sometimes, I don't know.;) We have taken him some ornaments and some stuff from his house that may be a comfort and jog memories.
I am really interested to know, if there anyone in your family who has diagnosed with dementia is this why you have asked so many questions? You don't have to answer this if you do not want to.
Yes as you probably have read my grandad has had dementia/Alzheimer for ten years and I have not really known him when he didn't, that is why I ask so many questions!
So I think you are lucky that you can visit TP & ask lots of questions, & that your mum & dad are supporting you in doing that.
Yes I agree that I have you guys and my family to help, thank you!
It would be so lovely to know she tried to understand and cared about her Granddad's illness.
I am sure she feels the same way as all of us but sometimes it can be hard to express your feelings. If my dad hadn't been a member and showed me this site I would probably not have come across it.

Thank you again,
S.R
X
 
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Sophie Rae

Registered User
Nov 11, 2007
48
0
London
I saw my grandad today and he seemed well. Actually it was the best visit in a while:D. He was talking. Although it didn't make sense it feels good that he is reacting to me.:) Dad helped him with a bit of physio too.
S.R
X
 

christine_batch

Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
3,387
0
Buckinghamshire
Dear Sophie,

I am so happy for you that you had a good visit with your Grandad.

It has always shown through your posts what a very special young lady you are.

Love from
Christine xx
 

Sophie Rae

Registered User
Nov 11, 2007
48
0
London
I am going to school tomorrow.:eek: I have been off for 11 days (a well deserved break)!:cool: So I might not be able to post as much, although if I have any questions, information, news or worries I will post again and keep you updated.:)
Thanks again for your kind replies and answers to my questions this holiday!:D
S.R
X
 

Sophie Rae

Registered User
Nov 11, 2007
48
0
London
Hi All
Went to see grandad to day, he looked well. I brushed his hair and had a little dance (arm position as he was in his chair) with him. :D
A few more questions::confused:

Can you die of Dementia/Alzheimer’s' or do you die with it?
What other things can I do with him when I visit?
Why do lots of people/children know about cancer, pneumonia etc not Dementia/Alzheimer’s' when it is quite common?

Please do not answer these questions if you think your answer might upset me in any way, I am only 11!:eek:
S.R
X
 

danny

Registered User
Sep 9, 2009
3,342
0
cornwall/real name is Angela
Hi Sophie,you are asking some difficult questions,you are so brave .Grandad will not get any better,but then you will probably have already worked that one out.Best thing is to take each day as it comes,Grandad will know you are there even if he can not tell you,he will be able to hear you and feel you. Have you tried reading to your grandad.
A lot of people are scared about dementia at the moment because they do not understand.Twenty years ago many people were also very scared about cancer but today people know alot more about it and talk alot more about it,one day it will be the same with dementia.
More people will be along soon with more answers for you.Take care Sophie and cherish the time you spend with your grandad.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Hi Sophie

Glad you had such a good visit with your grandad, I bet he enjoyed seeing you. I think your arm dance is an excellent idea, I do that sometimes with John, if he's in an alert mood. What about hand massage? Do you think your granddad would enjoy that? I keep some nice hand lotion in John's drawer, and do that if he's sleepy. But I think you just being there with him will make him happy. I also take him little treats, like an M&S strawberry trifle, which he loves. Anything that slips down easily.

As for your question, I think it's possible to die of Alzheimer's, though some people say not. The trouble is, as the body gets weaker, people tend to pick up infections like pneumonia more easily, and sometimes they haven't the strength to fight it. When that happens, that may be given as the cause of death, even though it's really Alzheimer's.

I think more people are learning about dementia, you may have seen the TV ads by the Alzheimer's Society. It's good that more people are talking about it, because that way there will be more money for research, which is what we really need.

People are going into schools now to talk about the disease, and that's great. Some schools run art competitions for posters and Christmas cards, perhaps you could get your school involved?

Love,
 

DozyDoris

Registered User
Jan 27, 2009
395
0
Suffolk
Hello Sophie

:) Your Grandad is a very lucky man to have such a wonderful Grandaughter as you. You are such a thoughtful and caring girl and wise and articulate beyond your years and do fab things with your Grandad, just being around him will help keep him in good spirits.
I've just bought my Dad a life book, it's all about his life and family and you put photos and bits in it, that might be a nice thing to do for you both, if he can remember about when he was younger.
Lots of love
Jane x
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,002
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Dundee
Hi Sophie. I bet your grandad loves your visits. My mum loves looking at photo albums - I think your grandad would love you to talk about some pictures with him. I am a primary school headteacher and I know that Alzheimer's is talked about in our school. Not a lot and not often but when it makes sense to do so. I think there are lots of things you might suggest in your school. Do you have a Pupil Council? It might be a good idea to ask if you could put fundraising for a local Alzheimer's charity. Good luck and take care. Izzy x
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
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NW England
Hello, Sophie (only 11):). You are a very wise and caring young lady ... and I gather you are in Year 6 ? ... SATS revision right now? Or has that been banned, yet? End of school concerts and holidays planned? Lots of things to tell your grandad about - even if he doesn't always seem to understand - I do believe people with dementia can sense and share our own excitement sometimes even if they don't fully understand what we are talking about! :)

You have such exciting times ahead going to High School. Subjects like Citizenship and sociology (boring maths, English and science in my day!:rolleyes:) .... I am sure you will excel and surprise your peers and teachers about what you have already learnt in life .... I worried about my son (he's just about to leave High School now :eek:) having some tough subjects to tackle when his grandma was poorly ...... but actually found his experiences gave him not only insight but the strength and maturity to tackle some of life's very difficult problems inside and out of the classroom ... as I am sure you will ...:)
Love, Karen, x
 

Sophie Rae

Registered User
Nov 11, 2007
48
0
London
Hi all
Thank you again for all your wonderful replies!
What about hand massage? Do you think your granddad would enjoy that?
I think my grandad would really enjoy that. Can any of you recommend any oil/cream that would stimulate him?
Some schools run art competitions for posters and Christmas cards, perhaps you could get your school involved?
At my school Dementia and Alzheimer’s are not talked about much. When I got involved with TP and went to the main office in London, my dad told the school. They asked me to do a presentation but Mum, Dad and I decided it would be too emotional for me as it is a very personal subject. Maybe I will consider it again and talk about it as it's one of the things I know lots about and feel more able to talk about it now.
and I gather you are in Year 6? ... SATS revision right now? Or has that been banned, yet? End of school concerts and holidays planned?
Yes, I am in year six. I have just had amazing results back from some mock SATS and I am revising (I am very busy and do a lot of things). My school play auditions are coming up too!
I think your grandad would love you to talk about some pictures with him.
I will have a go but it may be a bit emotional and hard for him because he is at a late stage but there is no harm in trying!
Do you have a Pupil Council? It might be a good idea to ask if you could put fundraising for a local Alzheimer's charity
Yes in fact and I am on the school council and I will take it to my next meeting!

Thanks again!
S.R
X
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
0
Frinton-on-Sea
Hello Sophie, it seems a long time since we last 'spoke'.

B---s, the well known chemist in the high street do a very nice, but inexpensive lavendar scented hand cream which I have used.
Perhaps your grandad might like something similar or geranium perhaps?mmm

As I always just stay in Lionel's room with him I light a scented candle too for the time I am there. Very relaxing, although not possible of course if you are in a communal room.

Wishing you well for the future, you souns like you have busy times ahead.