Please dont let one bad visit derail you.
The head nurse has said that she hasnt mentioned going home again since your visit. It sounds like she saved up her complaints for you (Ive seen it so many times while I was visiting mum pre-covid) and now she has probably forgotten the whole episode. I wouldnt do things to keep reminding her.
Next time you visit everything may be all hunky dory again. Its just the way it is with dementia. With time she will settle more and the demands to go home will become less.
It just scares me that her illness is like this, with many signs of normality. Knowing things like names, the name of the head nurse, things since she arrived there. She has more good things, than bad when we see her, but I have no idea how she acts during the Sundowning effect, nonstop during the day.
She told us those things when only the two of us were around, when the nurse came she stopped, showing signs like she knew what she was doing.
That is why I feel like I am in a revolving door.
We have the doctor diagnostic, we have the CT that confirms her illness, we have an opinion from another neurologist, plus the info from the head nurse as they look at her.
3 different opinions and I am still afraid what am I doing is wrong.
Couple of things you said made me think you were
suing for her care. If you are in this country, she should be paying if her assets, personal savings and house if any should be covering the cost, after that the state pays.
sorry if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick!
No, I am not from UK.
Basically, we are trying to get a decision from the local court to get the rights to represent her, due to her illness. I spoke with my lawyer and she made a file and we are waiting for the verdict. But we are doing this without grandma actually trying to meet anyone from the state, just based on medical files. We are trying to avoid another shock.
Her pension doesn't cover even 25 % of the monthly fee.
We need this just to be able to represent her, for example, big clinics refused to make her CT without her consent, due to GDP. There was an option to take her rights, but we clearly denied it + there is an option to apply to get some help from the state, but in order to do that, you need to declare her mentally ill. Another thing we refuse because ... I don't know why, but we just couldn't. It felt wrong.
We are just trying to represent her when it's needed without taking her and transporting her in the conditions the world is now