Some days it gets all too much...

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
Some days it gets all too much, and just when I thought my husband was a little calmer we've had a couple of days and nights from hell...he shadowed me constantly, picking fights and challenging every little thing I did or said, even my body language and tone of voice was causing him offence. During an outing that he had wanted he behaved so aggressively(not physical) that by the time we got home I was full of unshed tears. Sometimes it all feels too much.... End of grumble and thank you for understanding...I know you do!


Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
This has only really happened to me once, and my tears were not unshed. I just collapsed in tears and said to my husband that I could not continue another minute!!!

Within three days he was in respite for two weeks, and it was a total life saver for me.

I think you have to shout out loud to someone in authority not just rant on here.

It is not easy to shout but in the end it is so beneficial for you , please try



Registered User
Aug 15, 2012
Elsenham, Essex
So know how you feel, my husband has been unbearable for the last 4 days, crying aggresion shadowing and the worse day was Sunday. Family picnic with our son daughter in law and 2 small granddaughters. We gave up in the end and all went home I then spent a couple of hours crying. Not sure what advice to give, I don't think there is any, just wanted you to know you are not alone xx


Registered User
Nov 23, 2011
Sending you lots of hugs.

I empatheise totally.

Today I have been called a '*****' and 'scum' but my husband has also hugged me and told me he loves me.

I have always had love from my husband but only the nastier stuff since the onset of the disease.

Its not easy but I do have people who I can call on to talk to and discuss my feelings and emotions I hope you do too.

with love and understanding, SnowLeopard xx


Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
Brixham Devon
When my OH was at home this happened so often I lost count.

Pre AD P would never have even raised his voice to me.Dementia changes everything.

It sounds like you need a break? Could you ask the SW to arrange some respite?

Take care

Lyn T

Rosie Webros

Registered User
May 8, 2013
Yes, I am sure we all understand, only too well!

My dad was like this sometimes when my sister and myself were looking after him. We lost my mom a couple of years ago, and I remember once when he wanted my mom's clothes out of the wardrobe and out of the house. It was a difficult thing to do for me at the time, but I thought it would stop dad's constant shouting and obsession with the clothes. So I packed them all up into bags, crying constantly while doing it. Dad came upstairs, asked what I was doing and said, 'you don't have to do that, its too upsetting for you'! Then he put his arms around me and hugged me! Of course all was forgiven.

But it is really difficult to cope with on a day to day basis and it must make you very depressed. The only thing I can add is that you are a trooper for carrying on.

All the best and hope your day is better today. Rosie xx

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
even my body language and tone of voice was causing him offence. …………………………………. End of grumble and thank you for understanding...I know you do!
I do Anne.

I used to feel if I breathed in I should have breathed out.

Sadly there are many of us who understand but none who know how to prevent it.

Sad times. x

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
Thank you, you're all so kind. Today the sun's shining and what a difference that makes me feel...I'm still getting things wrong, but not quite all the time, and we've actually had some laughs, like the old times, over trying to fix the pump in our garden pond. My husband has been trying to unblock it and adjust the flow..trial and error, with him shouting ON or OFF and the water jet either a pathetic trickle or a great jet that has soaked him several times.

We've both loved our garden, making it from scratch together, and as long as I can accept his wildly unconventional methods, now that Alzheimer's rules, he can enjoy it. It breaks my heart really, to see it going to rack and ruin, but I tell myself the wildlife is enjoying it, and some plants still pop up and flower, smiling amid the weeds. A bit like all of us really, popping up and smiling in the middle of our unravelling lives!
Thank you all for your encouraging words in my low moment.