Some advice please!

[Nels]

Brother-in-law received a phone call at 4.00p.m. today from the hospital saying MIL was being sent to a NH tomorrow as the docs have decided there is nothing medically wrong with her! He was taken by surprise so just said ok, did not ask any details etc, then phoned me 10 mins later. I spoke to a nurse, by phone, as I was still at work, who said yes this was correct. They can do nothing about the fluid on the brain, have ignored the incontinence, just given her pads and not looked into what can be done about this, the OT has said she is not safe to be at home, so they are sending her to this NH as there is nowhere else for her. BIL is at the hospital at the moment and has asked to see a doc, they have made no attempt to treat the dementia or the incontinence (I believe that surgery is necessary), we have had no feedback from the neuro-pysch, the neurologist has said the MRIand CT scans just show fluid and atrophy. She can barely walk around the bed with her frame and people either side of her. Can they do this at such a late hour and without talking to the family? It appears that people just want to be rid of a problem, social services phoned 2 days ago and said that she was no longer on their books as she had been in hospital 14 days and the hospital team now had to deal with her, now hospital team are apparently saying social services have to reassess her in the NH. she does not know whether it is day or night, what she has done/eaten etc and does not drink. There is also paranoia but they appear to be ignoring our concerns. We are concerned then after being sent to the NH her medical problems (which the doctor says there is not any) will not be addressed and also the short notice. I had to come home and go to bed after work because of my medical condition and have just got up after BIL phoned. Tomorrow my husband is working, I have to see to my mum and sister, who I care for and have arrangements that cannot be changed. I tried to phone the OTs and the ICAT? team but needless to say answerphones were on as it was nearly 5.pm after I had spoken to the nurse.

Sorry to go on. Any advice will be gratefully received. Thank you

 

[Kayla]

Dear Nels,
I think your MIL might actually be better off in a NH than in a hospital ward because the staff will be more accustomed to dealing with dementia and the care of elderly people. In hospital, my Mum wasn't attempting to eat and the staff nurse had to feed her, but in the NH, the food seemed to be more suitable for frail patients and Mum soon looked much better.
It does seem very short notice to move her over the weekend and it would be better if more consultation were to take place. I felt that my Mum was so distressed at being in the hospital ward, that the sooner she came out the better. Perhaps your BIL could persuade the doctors to delay the move until you've had time to consider all the options properly and everything has been explained to you.
Kayla

 

[Nels]

Thanks Kayla. Am waiting for him to call in after he leaves the hospital. I agree that the NH may well be better for her but it all seems to have been done too quickly and we are not sure if we will be able to get her problems addressed if she leaves hospital, also she is very 'funny' about going to strange places and has panic attacks...

 

[Margarita]

also she is very 'funny' about going to strange places and has panic attacks...

If you don’t mind me saying that I think that all part of the dementia, as my mother gets like that when she go to different care home when in respite .

My mother been to a few respite home , the one I find the best is Nurseling Home

 

[Nels]

I had no luck with being able to talk to a doctor before MIL was transferred to a NH, tried Friday evening and Saturday a.m. before the ambulance came. I only got answerphones for the OTs and the ICAT team as it was late on Friday. We are very upset as we feel MILs medical needs have not been met and also about the way in which nothing was discussed with the family first. Upon arrival at the NH they did not know she was coming....... Eventually a room was made up but we had to go and collect clothes from her house then were told that they do not supply incontinence bits and bobs so had to rush out and buy these, the hospital had not informed us that she would need these. No frame was sent with her, she managed without one before the hospital admission and the wheelchair she was transported in only has one footplate. She will see the doc and team on Monday a.m., have to work (I teach) so not able to attend...... have told care workers that we want our concerns noted and somebody, preferably a doctor to contact us or at least leave a number that we can speak to them on. Last night she was very unhappy and kept asking to go home, refused to go into the dining room, look at the telly, magazines etc. Very upset about the fact that a window catch is broken and it cannot be closed properly, afraid it is noticeable with the wind blowing as it is here.... even with the curtains closed, tried to reassure her that no one can get in through it as she is on the 2nd floor and it is too small anyway, but she is convinced that someone can get in and said she will sit up all night with the light on..... Hubby has gone up this afternoon so will know more when he returns, hopefully they managed to get her into bed.