Social worker or do it myself?

[Lindy50]

Good to hear back from you Flake - and glad the support has kicked in.
I'll just say again - take this opportunity to tell everyone who comes into contact with your mum EXACTLY what her situation is and all your concerns so that everything is noted and logged.
Dad too took a while to settle back to eating - Amy in the US and Long-Suffering have given good hints to help. I gave dad Complan etc from the chemist, hot and cold, he actually liked those, and his favourite chocolate biscuits, also jellies - with more and more fruit in - and custard or ice cream, and trifle, rice pudding, those powdered deserts you make up with milk; lots of those easy to swallow foods and sweet seemed to be preferred for a while. Then mashed banana sandwich, soups, and mashed veg .... And I didn't offer too much at once so he felt he could manage a portion. Little and offered often seemed to go down best, with no pressure to eat so he wasn't anxious.
And definitely agree with Amy's mirror eating, he seemed to have lost confidence in what to do, how to eat.

This pattern worked well for mum, too I asked for Complan via the surgery and have now got it on prescription ....every little helps!

I like Amy's description of mirror eating. The only trouble is, I'm trying to lose weight for my daughter's wedding.....sweet things are the last thing I need.....however, it really does seem to help mum if I eat with her in this way, so no option, really xx

 

[Amy in the US]

Lindy, I don't actually have to EAT much, it's more that I am going through the motions. I think it's less about me chewing and swallowing than it is, picking up my glass and taking a drink, picking up my spoon and dipping it into my soup bowl, picking up my sandwich, et cetera. I cue her to drink by asking her often, how about a refill on your tea? I'm going to get some more water, I'll fill up your cup--that sort of thing.

I fuss with my food and cutlery an awful lot!

However, of course, if it's very important for you to eat the sweets, then darn, I guess you will just have to eat them!

 

[Lindy50]

Lindy, I don't actually have to EAT much, it's more that I am going through the motions. I think it's less about me chewing and swallowing than it is, picking up my glass and taking a drink, picking up my spoon and dipping it into my soup bowl, picking up my sandwich, et cetera. I cue her to drink by asking her often, how about a refill on your tea? I'm going to get some more water, I'll fill up your cup--that sort of thing.

I fuss with my food and cutlery an awful lot!

However, of course, if it's very important for you to eat the sweets, then darn, I guess you will just have to eat them!

Well, I may have to eat some, all in mum's interests, of course!

Thanks for the clarification x

 

[Flake]

Mum has not been drinking. Her lunch was left untouched. I took in cream cakes, her favourite, not touched. I tried cherries they were till there an hour later. She is complaining of severe back pain and actually screamed out that she wanted to die and the pain was unbearable. The OT assessor and I managed to calm her and get her to drink a little. In a very lucid moment later she asked if I had been with her when she fell outside? Phone call made to Hospital, they did not x-ray her as they needed GP referral! Phone call to GP and asked for a home visit to check her over yet again. I feel I am going round in circles. Tomorrow is another day and I suppose another battle

 

[Flake]

This pattern worked well for mum, too I asked for Complan via the surgery and have now got it on prescription ....every little helps!

I like Amy's description of mirror eating. The only trouble is, I'm trying to lose weight for my daughter's wedding.....sweet things are the last thing I need.....however, it really does seem to help mum if I eat with her in this way, so no option, really xx

I will try the mirror eating - can have cherries on my diet - I will ask about Complan. One of the carers mentioned Mum was in late stage dementia- so quick considering she was coping quite well six weeks ago. Thank you all for your comments, ideas and everything

 

[Flake]

Hello - Im back again. My mum is still in bed. not eating or drinking much. She counts how many swallows she has with her drinks and looks as if she is struggling to swallow at times. She has been for a wander in her home as the carer and I found 'evidence' but the majority of the time she is in bed. Have tried the mirror eating that has not worked until today when a neighbour and myself started on the chocolate and my mum has 3 little pieces too. She has moments of clarity and will keep asking if I am ok. She says she is still in pain and the suggestion from a carer today that she had mental health issues was, I thought, a little harsh. Oddest thing -she asked if I could move out of the way to let my Dad get past the end of the bed - he died 15 years ago - I apologised and moved to let him pass and found myself actually looking for him !