I have thought long and hard before posting this as I have very mixed feelings. On Thursday my Dad had the long awaited visit from the Social Worker which my Mum arranged without reference to me or my one sister who is local (I have another sister who lives abroad). As a result neither I nor my sister could be present. I was not too concerned as I naively thought that the SW would be experienced in dealing with this type of situation and would be able to offer the appropriate guidance.
My Mum then came to tell us the outcome of the meeting. The SW who was, in my Mum’s opinion, in his 50’s and impressed her by wearing a suit (my Mum is a solicitor and has 50+ years’ experience of people wearing suits), said he didn’t know why he was there!!! In his opinion there was nothing wrong with my Dad and he would close his file. My Mum was ecstatic with this news. She seemed to have conveniently forgotten that on Saturday (just 5 days earlier) she had rung my sister to ask her to take my Dad to the local hospital to be ’sedated’ and that on Monday she had rung me to come as she had had to lock my Dad in the house. Did she mention this to the SW? No.
I’m sorry to say I lost it with her. (My sister thought I was actually going to use the ‘F’ word to my Mum, but I managed to paraphrase). My only excuse is that I have had a stressful week work-wise as well as AD-wise.
Whilst I totally understand my Mum’s difficulty in accepting the whole situation, I cannot believe she is throwing away support when it is being offered to her. Nor can I quite believe that the SW was closing his file for an easy life. My Mum told him that we were totally managing the situation as a family. Again I understand her embarrassment at admitting the problem to outsiders. And yet I am still mad.
I will ALWAYS be there for my Dad and my Mum, but I feel totally out of my depth with AD. I am particularly concerned that the door to support has been firmly closed, with no chance of it being opened up.
What questions should we be asking of the SW? He said that day centres are inappropriate for my Dad as the people there are ‘ga-ga’. OK, maybe he isn’t ready for that yet, but what about support from a CPN? Can this be arranged by the GP?
Last week I waited 3 hours at the Memory Clinic to speak to the manager after we turned up with my Dad to be told his appointment had been cancelled. He promised faithfully after I caused a bit of a stink, that my Dad would be contacted by SS this week. As good as his word they did turn up but to what purpose? I have his direct dial number, but what should I be asking him?
What other support is there for him and my Mum? I have read here of the importance of a SS assessment, but fear that this assessment is ‘no support required’.
I am trying to calm down and formulate my thoughts before I ring, and any advice would be much appreciated.
Sue
My Mum then came to tell us the outcome of the meeting. The SW who was, in my Mum’s opinion, in his 50’s and impressed her by wearing a suit (my Mum is a solicitor and has 50+ years’ experience of people wearing suits), said he didn’t know why he was there!!! In his opinion there was nothing wrong with my Dad and he would close his file. My Mum was ecstatic with this news. She seemed to have conveniently forgotten that on Saturday (just 5 days earlier) she had rung my sister to ask her to take my Dad to the local hospital to be ’sedated’ and that on Monday she had rung me to come as she had had to lock my Dad in the house. Did she mention this to the SW? No.
I’m sorry to say I lost it with her. (My sister thought I was actually going to use the ‘F’ word to my Mum, but I managed to paraphrase). My only excuse is that I have had a stressful week work-wise as well as AD-wise.
Whilst I totally understand my Mum’s difficulty in accepting the whole situation, I cannot believe she is throwing away support when it is being offered to her. Nor can I quite believe that the SW was closing his file for an easy life. My Mum told him that we were totally managing the situation as a family. Again I understand her embarrassment at admitting the problem to outsiders. And yet I am still mad.
I will ALWAYS be there for my Dad and my Mum, but I feel totally out of my depth with AD. I am particularly concerned that the door to support has been firmly closed, with no chance of it being opened up.
What questions should we be asking of the SW? He said that day centres are inappropriate for my Dad as the people there are ‘ga-ga’. OK, maybe he isn’t ready for that yet, but what about support from a CPN? Can this be arranged by the GP?
Last week I waited 3 hours at the Memory Clinic to speak to the manager after we turned up with my Dad to be told his appointment had been cancelled. He promised faithfully after I caused a bit of a stink, that my Dad would be contacted by SS this week. As good as his word they did turn up but to what purpose? I have his direct dial number, but what should I be asking him?
What other support is there for him and my Mum? I have read here of the importance of a SS assessment, but fear that this assessment is ‘no support required’.
I am trying to calm down and formulate my thoughts before I ring, and any advice would be much appreciated.
Sue