Social work assessment tomorrow

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by blueboy, Jun 25, 2015.

  1. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    I have posted on here a few times about my 93 year old Mum who has undiagnosed dementia. She is getting steadily worse but refuses help and has only recently agreed to POA which is now being drawn up. However, a couple of days ago when visiting her I realised that she had badly soiled herself, her bedding, her carpet and the whole bathroom. She had made a slight effort to clean up but very little and when I asked her about it she denied all knowledge of anything having happened. This was the last straw for me, I'm afraid as she hasn't been showering, changing her clothes etc etc though maintains that she has and is 'fine'.
    I phoned the social work dept who are sending someone to visit her tomorrow to do an assessment and to offer help. They have also contacted her GP who is supposed to, apparently, regularly send a community nurse to check on the very elderly - no-one has ever been to visit her before. She also is very hard of hearing and has AMD which is being treated. I suspect that tomorrow she will once again refuse help and may not be considered mentally competent to agree to POA. She is so frail and bewildered that I just don't know what to do and feel unable to cope much longer. Does anyone have advice?
     
  2. ITBookworm

    ITBookworm Registered User

    Oct 26, 2011
    453
    Glasgow
    That is a slight contradiction that might work in your favour :) If Mum is considered mentally competent enough to refuse help from social services then she could be considered competent enough to agree to the POA.

    It probably isn't as simple as that but social services do have a duty of care towards Mum and under certain circumstances, and particularly in absence of a POA, they can overrule her. It does depend how bad she is though.

    Basically if you have the POA in progress I would try to keep pushing that through urgently and see what social services can do in the meantime.
     
  3. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    Thanks ITBookworm. She is pretty bad but manages to seem fairly Ok a lot of the time. Guess it will depend what she is like tomorrow. Several people (gardener, window cleaner) have told me that they feel she is vulnerable - such a worry. She refuses to have me live with her - though that would probably be disastrous anyway as I have 2 dogs. At least she will be on the radar after tomorrow - up until now she has kept under it, mainly with me feeling that I was helping - probably I wasn't.
     
  4. Skyrim

    Skyrim Registered User

    Jun 19, 2015
    37
    You obviously have been helping, and I'm sure somewhere she knows it. Its often really hard for a parent to have to see control pass to a child and I know from first hand experience that few people will admit to having had an "accident" that they just can't clean up.
    Social Services should be able to get some personal care support in for your mum regardles of the POA situation but whether or not mum will let the carers assist her is a different matter and a challenge for another day. There is a huge difference between the authority of a legal do ument that helps you plan care and finances effectively, and a willing, compliant caree.....let professionals do their bit in this respect.
    All the best.
     
  5. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    Many thanks for the advice. The assessment went OK though Mum refused pretty much everything offered - but has agreed that I arrange a cleaner to go in for a couple of hours a week, will 'think about' a community alarm etc. However, the district nurse is going in for the first time ever next week as she seems to be having problems with urinary incontinence, judging by the huge pile of smelly washing I brought home. I just hope that she will allow a cleaner into the house. She was always such an easy going person but has become so stubborn - an effect of the dementia, I guess.
     
  6. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    Well 2 days after the assessment I found Mum on the floor, covered in faeces - managed to get her up but she kept falling over and was very, very confused. I called NHS 24 and they sent a doc who arranged for me to take her to hospital where she has been since, in the elderly care ward.
    I suspected a urine infection but nothing was found. She had a CT scan today which showed 'changes consistent with age'!!! But everyone who has spoken to her agrees that she is very vague and confused. She is walking with a zimmer and seems OK doing that. She remembers nothing of the fall etc and now wants to go home. The hospital social worker agrees that she needs carers 4 times a day but no reason has really been given as to why she has now twice soiled herself without realising and why she now appears to be frequently incontinent. I expect she will be allowed to go home soon, hopefully with a care package in place for 6 weeks but I feel that there must be much more going on than changes consistent with age - even though she is 93. Has anyone else found that a diagnosis is sadly lacking?
     
  7. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,746
    Female
    London
    Sadly, incontinence is a fact of life for a lot of people with dementia. It creeps up and steadily gets worse due to changes in the brain that don't allow the person anymore to recognise the need or find the loo in time.

    Please ask for a referral to the Continence Service. They can discuss options and provide you with pads. A commode in the bedroom might also be an idea.

    If you haven't done so yet, ask for an occupational therapist to check out the house for any modifications like grab rails they could offer to make life easier for her.
     
  8. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    I suppose so..The hospital OT has been asking me about possible changes to the house. The district nurse is also going to supply incontinence pads. My real question was why did the CT scan only show' changes consistent with age' when there is far more going on and also why was she continually falling over - this is a real worry as she has stairs in her house.
     
  9. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,746
    Female
    London
    A CT scan on its own cannot diagnose dementia. In fact, you can only really diagnose it after death if you have a good look at the brain then. A diagnosis is currently obtained through a mixture of scans, blood and cognitive tests.

    The main thing is that you have people involved in her care now so do pursue whatever they are offering.
     
  10. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    Thank you, I will do.
     
  11. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    So Mum is now home with her care package, a community alarm and meals on wheels BUT despite all that she is still doubly incontinent, carried her zimmer upstairs last night( it's a wonder she didn't kill herself), I doubt that she would remember her alarm should anything happen. I am so worried about her - I have been looking into care homes and a couple of very good local ones could take her very soon. However, we never did get POA and her condition has gone downhill so fast. Has anyone here found a way to convince their parent that they would be so much safer in care? I should add that she was in hospital for 2 weeks and was very content - if a little bit bored, with no TV etc - not that she watches it much at all now.
     
  12. loveahug

    loveahug Registered User

    Nov 28, 2012
    1,071
    Moved to Leicester
    we got mum in the CH by taking her out for her 'appointment'. Once there I went to see 'the doctor' and then reported back to her he wanted her to stay for a 'couple of nights' for assessment. That was the end of January. I've never forgiven myself for the lies and she still says she wants to go home, can still do all her washing, shopping, cooking, cleaning, doesn't take any tablets and is as spritely as any other 60 year old (she's 90 now) :rolleyes:

    It's that rock and hard place time again, good luck - Hugs
     
  13. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    Thanks for that - I guess it may be 'loving lies' time again. Hate doing that to my Mum but if that's what it takes..She does have a respect for authority such as doctors (different generation!) so maybe I could go down that route.
     
  14. Pattywicklow

    Pattywicklow Registered User

    Mar 15, 2015
    11
    My mum recognises the word recuperation and when she's left hospital before I've said its part of what they insist on...she's of course paying for it, but thinks it's NHS, it's worked a treat. Does yr mum need any decorating done ? all those paint fumes much better to stay somewhere.....


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  15. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    125
    Thanks Pattiwicklow - she is currently doing fairly well with 4 carer visits a day and Meals on Wheels - will see how things go!
     

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