1. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    342
    Social Services coming tomorrow to see if we need any more care and to review dad...I spoke to them last week @about I can’t do anymore.Plus I had my carers assessment. (Not sure if that is anything to do with it)Dad was assessed to have a wheeled commode by the OT .Dad was sat in his recliner and talking to her about how long he had been sat in his chair(6years you know).It has been 18months actually.She was frowning so she must have picked up on this..Apparently he has been assigned to dad..It should be interesting as we can’t do any more care except at night which dad will decline..
     
  2. Cazzita

    Cazzita Registered User

    May 12, 2018
    467
    Good luck!
     
  3. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    342
    He came out.I explained a bit of what was going on.He spoke to dad who was in good hosting mode”No problem with my memory “ when asked! “Can you eat with a knife and fork “? he was asked.”Oh yes”says dad...I pointed out he has left sided weakness from a stroke so he would find that difficult.I told him that he has a soft diet...Another question was “How long have you lived here?”The reply varied from 6years to 16years..You would have thought that would raise red flags in the memory department..:D.So no changes but they have been informed.Plus they know that his mobility is worse and they are now aware of the size of the bathroom and how it is a struggle!....Onward to the next saga!
     
  4. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    700
    Oh bless you.
    It’s so frustrating
    Why does it have to be like this?
     
  5. Cazzita

    Cazzita Registered User

    May 12, 2018
    467
    Like how you wrote 'onto the next saga' because it really is! Good luck with it all x
     
  6. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    700
    Yep it’s an epic saga! But it really shouldn’t be- imagine if you were treated like this with any other illness! The outrage would be heard loud & clear, it’s just very unfair at times. Hey ho ! Another Groundhog Day!
     
  7. Cazzita

    Cazzita Registered User

    May 12, 2018
    467
    I know! It really is unbelieveable that dementia is a 'social care' type illness - just ridiculous! We have got to hope that it will change and soon. It must. Hang in there as best you can and take breaks away x
     
  8. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    700
    Oh I yearn for a break! Infact have told OH that I need to get away from the situation with Mum & Dad soon !
    OH works away most of the week so loves being at home!
    Me I’m self employed & registered disabled so work from home!
    Problem
    Actually told him that I’m at breaking point the whole sad situation with Mum & Dad has taken its toll & a holiday is required. Mid week break at some point once the schools are back me thinks!
     
  9. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    342
    Yes but I would take a week.A few days are not enough.Even though I have 10 days off it still doesn't seem enough.Going to notify care company today my next hols in November(i have given up work to look after the parents so tis great to choose when I go away).You both need time away,but don't tell your mum.
     
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,249
    Female
    South coast
    Seconded
     
  11. Jenni_B

    Jenni_B Registered User

    Aug 24, 2019
    50
    Female
    France
    Sounds most frustrating, and I do hope you can all get decent breaks - somehow!

    Do SS assessors always believe what the PWD tells them? I can just imagine my BIL saying, convincingly, that he helps with housework, gardening, shopping, cooking etc. Do they ever assess what someone can actually DO, by watching them do something like make a cup of tea for everyone? Or would that cause too much anxiety? I do hope they'll take my sister's comments into account as well, when it comes to her separate carer's assessment. Everything is just a battle, isn't it?
     
  12. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    342
    Hi.According to the Mental Health Act everyone is deemed to have capacity unless proven otherwise.So,most of the time they do.Especially if they have good “hosting skills”(There is a post on here about fluctuating capacity (which dad has.They will take her comments on board.But I have never known them to actually witness anything.
     
  13. Jenni_B

    Jenni_B Registered User

    Aug 24, 2019
    50
    Female
    France
    Great :-(

    I'll look for the post - thanks.
     
  14. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    342
    Also “Vent” A new thread is a good one.
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,249
    Female
    South coast
    My experience is that they phoned mum up and asked her what help she needed and (would you believe it) sje didnt need any help at all because she did all her own shopping, cooking, laundry and housework and she was most upset that they dared to suggest that she might need help with personal care because of course she showered every day and changed her clothes. One look at mum and her house would have told the SW that this was a pack of lies, but they believed every word and crossed her off their books :eek::eek: I didnt even know that this had happened until later.
     
  16. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    342
    I often wonder what planet they are on?.Mars maybe
     
  17. Jenni_B

    Jenni_B Registered User

    Aug 24, 2019
    50
    Female
    France
    @canary @TNJJ - I read Vent and one or two other threads. Oh gawd. What was Desperate of Devon saying yesterday about songs running on perpetual loop through your mind? Mine is now, "There may be trouble ahead" :( Let's hope any assessments are late afternoon.
     
  18. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    342
    I hoped that.He came in the morning.Good luck and keep us posted.
     
  19. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    700
    :eek::eek::eek:
    Accompanied with a little dance routine I hope!
     
  20. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,249
    Female
    South coast
    Hmph - now youve got me singing it
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.