Thank you for the replies, so many people are obviously suffering and trying to cope with the same or similar problems. The neighbours know of Mum's diagnosis I think that's why I struggled so much after being told people are complaining, it really doesn't help me, it just adds to my worries. I'm wondering whether to print out a letter and post through doors in the neighbourhood but I'd feel really guilty doing that as I know Mum would be devastated if she found out. ... it's such a quandary knowing what to do for the best, but thank you and so glad I have found this forum as I'm sure moving forwards I will need to dip into this site often.
Hello and welcome to the forum from me too.
In my experience it helps to do what we feel is best rather than what the person with dementia wants. My reasoning for this opinion is that a diagnosis of dementia would be uncommon if the persons abilities/behaviour weren't impaired. There is an initial embarrassment that, in my experience, soon disappears.
When my wife was first diagnosed she was, of course, devastated and she forbade me to tell anyone. I told all family, friends and neighbours and found that we got understanding and even assistance on the odd occasion. My wife knows that she has dementia but has little awareness of how that has changed her abilities and what her behaviours are like apart from thinking her memory is bad and that she struggles to make conversation. She now, herself, tells everyone that she has dementia.
I haven't found any negativity and no one has ever mentioned anything to my wife.
I hope that you find a solution that helps you both.
