Hello everyone
Today I am at my wits end. Last night I arrived after work to find mum had lipstick in her hair. Having dealt with that, I found her clean and dried underwear looking decidedly orange on top of the freezer. She infomred me she'd dried it in the oven! I tried explaining how dangerous that was but she couldn't really see why. I became stressed, she became sullen and miserable and I've been up since 2.30am stressing hugely. I am now sat at my desk with the door shut having just had a good cry.
My question is this...after 6 months of trying we finally got a social care assessment 3 weeks ago. My understanding is that there will be some sort of care package but they are hinging it around food preparation only (she is obsessive to the point of ridiculous about cleaning...superfically the house looks immacualte - in practice there is food put in the wrong cupboards/rubbish tucked in flower pots/and the other day a plate put in the washing machine). When the social worker called last week he asked me how i saw a care package working for her. He tried to suggest we try Meals at Home but I refused as she won't eat a main meal at lunch time and getting her to eat involves more than just leaving the food on the side for her...she needs drinks pouring, food setting out on the table and some kind of encouragement to sit down and eat it otherwise it just gets hidden in a cupboard somewhere or fed to her dog.
I asked about a personal care budget (mum has no savings or house of her own) as I'd like to use a local agency who are known to be very good. I was told that I couldn't use that agency as they weren't registered with the local authority and were too expensive - surely if I make up any difference that's not relevent?
Can anyone tell me what I can and can't ask social care to do for mum and how a personal care budget works??
I am due to go to Scotland next week as my husband's uncle has died so I've just called them to say mum will have no-one there for 4 days (in reality my daughter and a neighbour will go in) but I'm feeling out of my depth with knowing how to move any of this forward and know they will call any time to ask me what I want. Truth is I don't know...all I know is I need help and she needs help.....Emma
Today I am at my wits end. Last night I arrived after work to find mum had lipstick in her hair. Having dealt with that, I found her clean and dried underwear looking decidedly orange on top of the freezer. She infomred me she'd dried it in the oven! I tried explaining how dangerous that was but she couldn't really see why. I became stressed, she became sullen and miserable and I've been up since 2.30am stressing hugely. I am now sat at my desk with the door shut having just had a good cry.
My question is this...after 6 months of trying we finally got a social care assessment 3 weeks ago. My understanding is that there will be some sort of care package but they are hinging it around food preparation only (she is obsessive to the point of ridiculous about cleaning...superfically the house looks immacualte - in practice there is food put in the wrong cupboards/rubbish tucked in flower pots/and the other day a plate put in the washing machine). When the social worker called last week he asked me how i saw a care package working for her. He tried to suggest we try Meals at Home but I refused as she won't eat a main meal at lunch time and getting her to eat involves more than just leaving the food on the side for her...she needs drinks pouring, food setting out on the table and some kind of encouragement to sit down and eat it otherwise it just gets hidden in a cupboard somewhere or fed to her dog.
I asked about a personal care budget (mum has no savings or house of her own) as I'd like to use a local agency who are known to be very good. I was told that I couldn't use that agency as they weren't registered with the local authority and were too expensive - surely if I make up any difference that's not relevent?
Can anyone tell me what I can and can't ask social care to do for mum and how a personal care budget works??
I am due to go to Scotland next week as my husband's uncle has died so I've just called them to say mum will have no-one there for 4 days (in reality my daughter and a neighbour will go in) but I'm feeling out of my depth with knowing how to move any of this forward and know they will call any time to ask me what I want. Truth is I don't know...all I know is I need help and she needs help.....Emma