Socail Services and care homes

discovery

New member
Jan 12, 2020
7
Hi Everybody,
I am having a nightmare! My mum is only 68 and very active . But she cannot do anything for herself not even make a cup of tea . But you cannot pull the wool over her eyes . She keeps wondering in the evening and the police pick her up. She has a day centre and pss workers go in but this all finishes at 3.30 and nothing at weekends . Socail Services have said Care home from 9am to 8pm when her partner gets home . Tried one today and she went mad saying I'm not an old lady there's nothing wrong with me, leave me alone :( . To be fair all the people there were just sitting in chairs staring into space . I have been giving up my evening and weekends but I cannot continue as I have a young family and I am self employed . The stress is killing me . Any suggestions please.???
 
Last edited:

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,285
North West
Hi Everybody,
I am having a nightmare! My mum is only 68 and very active . But she cannot do anything for herself not even make a cup of tea . But you cannot pull the wool over her eyes . She keeps wondering in the evening and the police pick her up. She has a day centre and pss workers go in but this all finishes at 3.30 and nothing at weekends . Socail Services have said Day care from 9am to 8pm when her partner get home . Tried one today and she went mad saying I'm not an old lady there's nothing wrong with me, leave me alone :( . To be fair all the people there were just sitting in chairs staring into space . I have been giving up my evening and weekends but I cannot continue as I have a young family and I am self employed . The stress is killing me . Any suggestions please.???
A few years ago my mum was like this, she was intorduced to various groups to help her get out and about, but each lunch group she went to she said she thought they had snuffed it and so declined to go anymore, to be fair she was being pushed into social groups that didn't match her needs. Buit mum was fine at home unlike the situation you describe. Social services don't have all the answers, perhaps you need to go back to them and ask for a re-assessment, I had to shout in the end when mum had declined to the point of not being able to leave her alone and by then a few things had happened in terms of safety which was her wandering
 

discovery

New member
Jan 12, 2020
7
A few years ago my mum was like this, she was intorduced to various groups to help her get out and about, but each lunch group she went to she said she thought they had snuffed it and so declined to go anymore, to be fair she was being pushed into social groups that didn't match her needs. Buit mum was fine at home unlike the situation you describe. Social services don't have all the answers, perhaps you need to go back to them and ask for a re-assessment, I had to shout in the end when mum had declined to the point of not being able to leave her alone and by then a few things had happened in terms of safety which was her wandering
Thanks for your comments . Im going to speak to her SW tomorrow but I've no idea what to do . Her support workers are saying she hard to entertain all day which I know myself is difficult, but when I see her in the day centre she goes to she's the youngest there and looks out of place. Safety is the issue now because of the wandering and she trusts and speaks to anyone .I am really struggling the stress is affecting me and my home life. I am completely stumped . `SW won't put into full time care because they are concerned she will decline rapidly which I agree . I just don't know the answer .
 

BryanG2001

Registered User
Mar 2, 2014
109
If you can afford it you might look at 24hour live-in care. You have to try a few carers till you find a personality match to your Mum, but then she has a best friend who looks after her all day. In your case the carer will get the evenings off as your Mums partner can take over.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,327
South coast
Might you use a "love lie" that she is volunteering at the day centre, looking after the "old ladies", in order to get her there? The people running the centre might be willing to go along with this too, finding little jobs like taking cups of tea round and sorting things out, to keep her occupied.
 

discovery

New member
Jan 12, 2020
7
Might you use a "love lie" that she is volunteering at the day centre, looking after the "old ladies", in order to get her there? The people running the centre might be willing to go along with this too, finding little jobs like taking cups of tea round and sorting things out, to keep her occupied.
Hi, This has been talked about . I think its worth a try, but we need to find the right place. Thanks
 

discovery

New member
Jan 12, 2020
7
Might you use a "love lie" that she is volunteering at the day centre, looking after the "old ladies", in order to get her there? The people running the centre might be willing to go along with this too, finding little jobs like taking cups of tea round and sorting things out, to keep her occupied.
Hi, The funds aren't there sadly. She owns her own home but no saving sadly. Thanks