So worried about step dad! No help from professionals

[Nora12]

This is my first time posting.
My step dad is 74, lost my mum suddenly 4 years ago, we thought suffering from acute grief. However last 12 months rapid decline. He thinks he is ok, however I took him to a and e. last week. I went to visit( he lives 90 miles from me) He was walking round the house saying look this chair is like mine, look the dog is same as mine etc etc. The Dog clearly not been out (pee up the wall) my dad (he is like a dad to me) was acting so strange. My friend who is a nhs occupational therapist said take him hospital, could be UTI. Anyway went hospital they said had a stroke, he said somebody in hospital weed on him (this did not happen, nurse said wet himself). I told hospital I had concerns about memory, they discharged him after a week, referred back to memory clinic. He had test last year scored poorly but they said mild cognitive impairment and No dementia. I am so worried, he is not right and my sister makes excuses for everything he's doing. I know him so well, rapid decline. He also lit a piece of paper left it on mantle piece and burnt it. When I asked him he didn't see risk, also he recently couldn't find way to shops he been going to for years! Then next minute he seems OK. Sorry for long post but I am so worried and just wanted to let it all out.

 

[nae sporran]

Hullo and welcome @Nora12.
That is a serious concern, I'm not surprised you are worried. I notice you said the test result was last year and though the decline could be caused by the UTI it might be worth asking your dad's GP for another referral. They will have a copy of the hospital discharge note. It might be an idea to alert social services and tell them you think your dad is vulnerable and remind them they have a duty of care to support him.

 

[MartinWL]

Sorry. You need to start thinking about card plans. Someone should have power of attorney and he needs to be assessed for a care plan. If he is self funding you can arrange care yourself either with POA or his consent. If not get the local authority social services involved.

 

[canary]

I would ask your GP for another referral to the memory clinic. Aprox 50% of people diagnosed with MCI go on to be diagnosed with dementia within 12 months and some of those symptoms sound concerning.
Also, make sure that whoever assess him knows about these concerns - many people with dementia are unwilling/unable to recognise that they are having problems.

 

[Nora12]

Thank you all so much tor taking time to reply, I am ringing the drs and memory clinic today

 

[Feeling unsupported]

I had mum assessed by memory clinic 3 times and all insisted just MCI. I sat through the questions they asked, just thinking, this really doesn't address any of the problems I am seeing. At the 4th time of asking for an assessment, the practitioner was almost wishing she didn't have to continue as it was so impossible for mum to answer anything, she was by then in the later stages of dementia and there had been no acknowledgement of her condition or support with it, to that point. Please try and be persistent with them and try to make them see the issues you are witnessing, not just letting them tick boxes on their paperwork. I hope you get some answers soon.

 

[Nora12]

Thank you for reply, I have appt today with Dr. Also he rung me at 2.44am asking what is the date! X

I had mum assessed by memory clinic 3 times and all insisted just MCI. I sat through the questions they asked, just thinking, this really doesn't address any of the problems I am seeing. At the 4th time of asking for an assessment, the practitioner was almost wishing she didn't have to continue as it was so impossible for mum to answer anything, she was by then in the later stages of dementia and there had been no acknowledgement of her condition or support with it, to that point. Please try and be persistent with them and try to make them see the issues you are witnessing, not just letting them tick boxes on their paperwork. I hope you get some answers soon.