So tired and feeling so selfish

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Hugh, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. Hugh

    Hugh Registered User

    Sep 23, 2005
    Hi, Apologies for his message/moaning - just at the end of my tether tonight - and bless those of you that have time to read this. Mum was diagnosed 11 years with Alzheimer's and has been in a nursing home for almost 10. Love her so much - such a brave lady been through every hellish phase of the disease as it gradually has taken away almost all of her life - step by step. Visit her every other week in the hope that she can see me and get a moments pleasure from our time together - but sadly have no idea if she even knows I am there. Sometimes a brief smile - we talk but she says nothing that makes any sense any more - I always give her a gentle hug and a kiss when I arrive and when I leave bless her. Only the devil could invent such an illness - so cruel and indiscriminate. Mum was a high powered and gifted doctor - now just a tiny little lady all tucked up in a bed aged 95. A superb mother who does not deserve to end her life this way - just never seems to end. Call form Care Home just now - my heart stops each time they call - she has a high temperature and is not good - GP has visited and she is now more settled and sleeping thank goodness - bless her. My grateful thanks to you all for giving me the chance to write this note. With love and thoughts for all of you out there living a similar nightmare. Hugh
  2. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    #2 Lavender45, Jul 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2015
    You are definitely not selfish and not moaning. I think this disease is probably one of the cruelest things anyone can possibly have, taking people away inch by painful inch.

    I hope your mum has a restful night and that her temperature drops. Hopefully you will get some rest too.

    Lavender 45
  3. Demonica66

    Demonica66 Registered User

    Oct 23, 2014
    Hi Hugh.
    I don't think I can be of any help but just wanted to say that you sound like a fabulous son. Thoughts are with you and your Mum. D x

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  4. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    Oh Hugh. It's so hard isn't it xx

    95 and was a doctor. That can't have been easy for her at the time of her training.

    No words of wisdom to help you through this painful time, only understanding and a squishy hug xxx

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  5. Julia B

    Julia B Registered User

    Apr 13, 2015
    So sorry Hugh, for your lovely Mum, for you x

    your note touched me, what a lovely parent she must have been to have inspired so much love, hugs from me to you, take care of yourself, you aren't moaning or being selfish, you are doing your very best x
  6. joggyb

    joggyb Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    Nothing selfish about that, Hugh - it comes across as a very heartfelt lament and paean to your mum. You obviously care for her so very much.
    Take care.
  7. Hugh

    Hugh Registered User

    Sep 23, 2005
    Thank you

    To all you kind and loving people who responded to my thread- thank you - all of you have helped me to keep stable. Disappointed the Post was 'moved' for some reason - reduced the help I was able to gain for posting it in the first place on 2 forums. Perhaps it was my fault as usual. Never mind. Hugh
  8. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    It doesn't matter where you post as most people just click on Recent Posts anyway. It really makes no sense to duplicate your post though as you'll get the same help with just the one!
  9. janetlynn

    janetlynn Registered User

    Jul 22, 2012
    Hi Hugh,

    I hope you are feeling a little better.
    Words cannot describe the different emotions you will be going through! Please try to look after yourself and do things that make you happy. Your Mum would want you to do that. Try not to dwell on the future too much and take one day at a time.


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