so scared and confused

[Debz5564]

my husband has just been diagnosed with mixed dementia (alzeimers and vascular) i think it is early days as he is even still working at the moment he is 66 years old.
i feel like i have been hit by a lump hammer and dont know what the future holds but i watched my aunt go through this and know that there will come a time when he needs to go into a care home. i am worried i will loose my house if this happens , i know this will sound selfish of me but i think it is very unfair for me to loose my home as well as my husband,
any advise appreciated

 

[jaymor]

Hi @Debz5564 and welcome to the forum.

As long as you remain in the home should your husband go into care then the house is not taken into account when it comes to paying for care.

 

[Debz5564]

Hi @Debz5564 and welcome to the forum.

As long as you remain in the home should your husband go into care then the house is not taken into account when it comes to paying for care.

thank you so much that has took a weight off, i honestly thought i would have to sell, this is all so scary

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

A further bit of financial advice for you: make sure you sort out Power of Attorney for your husband as soon as possible. And separate your finances so you don't have any joint accounts. That will make everything much clearer and simpler should he reach the stage of needing a care home. Basically, only his funds can be used to pay, not yours, and as had been said, the house will be disregarded as long as you are living there.

Yes, it's scary. Have a read around the threads on this site and you will learn a lot about dementia and how people cope.

 

[Debz5564]

A further bit of financial advice for you: make sure you sort out Power of Attorney for your husband as soon as possible. And separate your finances so you don't have any joint accounts. That will make everything much clearer and simpler should he reach the stage of needing a care home. Basically, only his funds can be used to pay, not yours, and as had been said, the house will be disregarded as long as you are living there.

Yes, it's scary. Have a read around the threads on this site and you will learn a lot about dementia and how people cope.

Thank you so much for the advice

 

[Debz5564]

Is power of attorney needed at early stages ?

 

[canary]

Is power of attorney needed at early stages ?

You probably wont need it now, but by the time you do need it it will be too late to get it.
Your husband is the one who has to agree and sign for it, so get him to do it while he can, then put it aside until needed.

 

[jennifer1967]

i did poa for my husband almost immediately he was diagnosed. ive needed it for talking to the doctor when my husband cant manage or gets confused by what the doctor is trying to explain to him or options that he has given him. its there when you need it instead of waiting too long and be unable to get it.

 

[silkiest]

Hi @Debz5564 , the POA forms can be started online @ https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney. They are free if you are on benefits. It is wise to do your own at the same time. They can be very useful as most companies now are very up on POA. House and car insurance companies, utilities etc will only speak to you if named on the policy or if you have POA. Before MIL had alzheimers her boiler blew up while she was on holiday - we could do nothing until she returned without POA as the company refused point blank to speak to us.
Tick the box to register it immediately and then you can slowly start helping with both financial and health issues as the need arises. Make sure all your utilities and insurances are in joint names so you can talk to them yourself when needed.
Make sure all attorneys can act 'jointly and severley' . If you put jointly only and an attorney dies or becomes incapable for some other reason then the POA becomes useless.
My parents were each others attorneys but thankfully they also added me and my sibling. It is best to add a younger generation if possible in case problems arise as they have with my parents. Dad cannot see now and is very deaf so he cannot be mums active attorney in most cases and mum has alzheimers so she cannot help him.

 

[Debz5564]

Thank you everyone it is things like this that I wouldn’t of thought about, I’m feeling guilty thinking about this sort of stuff as I should be thinking about my husband first but talking on here has really helped and I will get my head in gear and arrange POA and separate our savings from our joint account
thanks again

 

[jennifer1967]

Thank you everyone it is things like this that I wouldn’t of thought about, I’m feeling guilty thinking about this sort of stuff as I should be thinking about my husband first but talking on here has really helped and I will get my head in gear and arrange POA and separate our savings from our joint account
thanks again

you dont need to feel guilty, you are coming on here is gain knowledge to be prepared and able to help your husband now and in the future.

 

[Bunpoots]

Don’t ever feel guilty about looking after yourself @Debz5564 . You need to look after yourself to be able to look after your husband.