I'm noticing small memory issues like forgetting the names for things and although I want to believe it's nothing, I've convinced myself it's dementia and I'm consumed with anxiety and grief. I have a 3 year old child. I have a strong family history of dementia diagnosed in late fifties age group. I don't know if I'm being ridiculous or if this is real. Dear god, please help me. I can't have dementia, I'm the sole breadwinner in the house and my husband and child will be destitute without me. I'm so scared I can't eat or sleep, someone please suggest what I can do to stop feeling like this.
So scared, 39 and noticing small memory issues
- Thread starter ScaredRabbit
- Start date
First thing, stop worrying. I know that sounds crazy, but you’ll make yourself worse if you stress. I mean, If you feel you are having memory issues, you stress about it, your stress and focus on your memory will consume you, then when you have a perfly normal memory slip like we all get….you will be convinced it’s dementia, when it isn’t. And the cycle continues.
Ok, first PRACTIACL step, talk to a GP. If you’re in the uk and have a family history of dementia, you can asked to be referred to a memory clinic. They will tell you what is what.
I am in my early 40s and have noticed the occasional memory slip, but I believe I’m noticing it because of my mother’s Alzheimer’s making me more aware of memory, NOT because I’m also affected.
Also, I’m thinking of another, perfectly natural reason why we both might have memory slips, known as “brain fog” (we are both female and ‘of a certain age).
It's unlikely to be dementia; 39 is much younger than mid / late 50s. It's more likely to be nothing or due to physical problems, or mental health problems such as stress or anxiety. I think that you need a full MOT, looking at hormone levels, vitamin levels and iron levels among other things. I wonder how much stress you are under as sole breadwinner. How stressful is your job? What is your sleep like? What is your relationship like? Do you have any worries apart from worrying that you might have dementia? Do remember that as you become older and your life becomes more complicated, juggling work, relationship, home and family, you are holding a lot more information in your head and some information gets dropped.
Get down to your doctor and tell them what you've been experiencing.
When I was 39 I also thought I was starting to get dementia. I researched it at length and became convinced - I couldn't remember words, forgot things like my neighbour's name, my favourite author, etc etc. I also started making spelling mistakes. My youngest was about 2 and I hadn't been particularly well since he was born. They told me it was post natal depression and put me on meds for a while. It didn't really suit me and sadly, I have very little memory now of that year and a half
I continued to look at dementia but it wasn't quite right for how I was feeling. Then I came across an article on early menopause - what a revelation! I went to my GP who laughed saying I was far too young, but she did tests anyway. I was found to have post-menopausal estrogen levels and started on HRT, which I've been on ever since. My 'dementia' vanished within a couple of weeks.
This may not be what's happening with you - I have no idea - but it's certainly worth looking at.
P.S. My research was not wasted! When mum started with dementia in her later 70s I recognised it immediately! Took me years to convince anyone else though.
When I was 39 I also thought I was starting to get dementia. I researched it at length and became convinced - I couldn't remember words, forgot things like my neighbour's name, my favourite author, etc etc. I also started making spelling mistakes. My youngest was about 2 and I hadn't been particularly well since he was born. They told me it was post natal depression and put me on meds for a while. It didn't really suit me and sadly, I have very little memory now of that year and a half
I continued to look at dementia but it wasn't quite right for how I was feeling. Then I came across an article on early menopause - what a revelation! I went to my GP who laughed saying I was far too young, but she did tests anyway. I was found to have post-menopausal estrogen levels and started on HRT, which I've been on ever since. My 'dementia' vanished within a couple of weeks.
This may not be what's happening with you - I have no idea - but it's certainly worth looking at.
P.S. My research was not wasted! When mum started with dementia in her later 70s I recognised it immediately! Took me years to convince anyone else though.
Welcome @ScaredRabbit . I actually read your post around 0400 when battling to sleep. I 'read and ran' as they say as I could not think how to help as I was in a 'foggy' place myself at the time. However I see @Jaded'n'faded has given you some excellent advice. I have no idea where you are based, but some larger cities have specialised menopause clinics. You may also find this link useful
www.womens-health-concern.org
Women's Health Concern | Confidential Advice, Reassurance and Education
Women’s Health Concern (WHC) aims to advise, reassure and educate women of all ages about their health, wellbeing and lifestyle concerns.
www.womens-health-concern.org
Thank you everyone, I'm feeling a little calmer. I'm going to visit the GP about how anxious I feel, if nothing else, and take this as an opportunity to plan my family finances better so we are as prepared as can be if the worst does happen.
The anxiety you are feeling is probably related to your family history @ScaredRabbit
A rule of thumb I use when forgetting words or names is if I can get myself out of trouble I`m OK.
I wonder if this will help you.
Even if it does, please get a consultation with your doctor as soon as possible. I know it`s difficult at this time of covid but you do need some medical support.
A rule of thumb I use when forgetting words or names is if I can get myself out of trouble I`m OK.
I wonder if this will help you.
Even if it does, please get a consultation with your doctor as soon as possible. I know it`s difficult at this time of covid but you do need some medical support.
